A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i have been with my boyfriend for 1 year and 8 months. from the begginning i really liked him and and we started seeing eachother every weekend. one weekend got really intimate and had sex with him. after a while i saw that he layed back about things and thought we had something serious going so i meet another guy that had every thing i want in a man. i started seeing him while i was seeing the guy that is now my boyfriend. at first i really didnt know which guy to be with because i couldnt get over how strong my feelings were for the guy (my now boyfriend) but so interested in this other guy that treated me how i wanted. the other guy and i got intimate and we tryd to have sex but he only put it in side of me and it wasnt really in motion. from then on the guy that was my boyfriend found out about the other guy and ask me if i did any thing with him and i said no. i had to email the other guy as i couldnt bare to tell him in person. from then on i realised that i fell inlove wiht the guy that is my boyfriend pretty fast and was hurt when he wasnt interested much with me,and thought probably i wanted to move on so i tryed to do it with some one else.it was soo early in the relationship that only after that drama we became official. do i tell him or should i just forget about it and leave it in the past were is should be?i am soo scared and so ashamed about this. i am scared to be called a slut from everybody as evry one knows about our beautiful relationshipim not one who can deal with stress like this. if i do loose him i wouldnt be abel to live. he is my first love. and i love him soooooooo much .what do i do?
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female
reader, Adorskable  +, writes (24 November 2010):
 Don't you think it would be best it came out of you instead of anyone else. Talk to him bring the skeletons out of the closet and see what happens. Can you really live a life full of lies. This is your decision and if you think your conscious will be okay and you will be able to live with the guilt than go for stay quiet but always keep in mind that your past behavior can explode in your face when you least expected.
A
male
reader, serenity80  +, writes (24 November 2010):
It sounds to me it is best left in the past. You made this mistake before you had completely developed feelings for your boyfriend and it was very early on in the relationship. NO good will come from telling him. He will almost certainly break up with you.You shouldn't feel ashamed or slutty. You made a mistake, we all make mistakes. Like you say, you didn't know at the time which guy you wanted to be with, but now you do, and now I'm sure you would never cheat on your boyfriend.I think as long as this other man is totally out of your life, and in the past, then you should move on and just concentrate on the present and future and being a great girlfriend. You're not a bad person.. it was just bad timing.. so don't let bad timing ruin what seems to be a great relationship.
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A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (24 November 2010):
 I think if you really loved him you wouldn't have cheated on him. You also wouldn't be saying that this other guy was everything you wanted in a man. If that's how you're still feeling it's your guilt that's keeping you with your BF, not love.
If you think you really love him, then he deserves to know the truth. Don't you think? Telling him the truth will hurt him and it's for selfish reasons that you'd be doing it. That reason being to relieve the guilt you feel. Still, he should know that the girl he's devoted himself to stepped out on him. Not only did she do that, but she then lied to him about it for over a year after.
Relationships built on lies will crumble. You think your guilt is bad now, try bottling it up for another few years.
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