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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi, i am 21 years old and have been with my current boyfriend for 2 and a half years. i love him to bits and i know he loves me, but he has mood swings.The problem is me. i cheat on him and i dont know why because i dont get nothing out of it except the feelings of disgust for myself and feeling used.the cheating tends to be one-night stands and short-term flings with guys who i have no intention of getting to know, i also tend to be drunk. My boyfriend satisfies me in bed 100% so i dont understand why i do this. its like i cant help myself. Could it be a sex addiction?
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reader, Your big sis +, writes (22 January 2006):
 You are not a sex addict. Sex addicts don't have to be drunk to have meaningless sex. I believe there's deeper cause to why you act this way. I believe low self-esteem plays a huge part in your behavior. You drink yourself into an oblivion so you can become someone you're not. You don't have the self-confidence it takes to date and have the kind of fun you really desire. So you use your poor boyfriend as a crutch when you're sober. This problem will never go away unless you #1. Seek help from a professional therapist to learn why you suffer from low self-esteem, or #2. Stop drinking cold turkey. Neither of the options is awful. You can do it. But look deeper into your heart about how much heartache and agony you are putting your boyfriend through. Nobody enjoys being used. And my mother always said, "What goes around, comes around." So be careful to treat others the way you want to be treated. Best of luck to you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2006): i did this once to the man i love and i felt exactly as you say even though i stopped it before it went too far, i was just so drunk and i couldnt even reason with myself why i did it, i didnt even like the guy in that way! i have tryed to work out time and time again why i did it , sometimes i think that im not over all my boyfriend put me through in the past and it was some kind of drunken subconcious retalliation (he used to emotionally abuse me saying im a tramp , he dont fancy me , ive got no style etc) maybe you have a similar issue somewhere in your past , not nessasarily with your current boyfriend.you are probably feeling down about yourself somewhere inside .but anyhow i realised i cant blame my boyfriend and i decided the only way to make sure it didnt happen again was to control the drink and to change the people i spend my spare time with and the way i spend my time so that i dont end up in a stuation where it could happen i hope this helpsgood luck
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A
male
reader, Zabadack +, writes (7 January 2006):
Nope you're just making excuses, Sex addict is just a politicaly correct term for someone who can't be faithfull, in the past words like slut or tart may have been used but you don't want to be branded like that because "you're not like them".
He may satisfy you in bed but you don't really love him and you don't think he loves you. end it, go out have fun... let's face it, it's what you want to do anyway right?
looking for validation isn't going to help the situation, you realise what you're doing is wrong so stop doing it.
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A
male
reader, Joe  +, writes (7 January 2006):
if you were a sex addict you wouldn't have to be drunk to cheat on your boyfriend, like the others have said it could down to more of a drink problem so try the best you can to sort it out and hopefully you should be fine
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A
female
reader, fairyangel  +, writes (7 January 2006):
 Your problem has nothing to do with sex.
You are in fact getting a pay- off for your behavoiur... and that is one of self- destruction.
You probably have a low self- esteem problem and dont value yourself enough, maybe thinking you are not worthy of anything better or not worthy enough to be loved for who you are, so you therefore indulge in this self destructive behaviour.
It seems your drinking is also getting out of control, as this is when you get up to all your tricks.
My advice is to seek a rehabilitation centre that can deal with your drinking problem and your self confidence issues.
This needs to get out in the open and be dealt with right away, before you inflict more pain on yourself and your boyfriend... you could come home with sexually transmitted disesases or even Aids... think about that!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2006): Sexual addict no!Alcoholic Yes! Girl stop drinking or at least if your gonna drink don't get to the point were you don't know what's going on or to the point were you just don't care. Everyone loves sex but, even when I get drunk and I'm out with my friends I can't wait to get home to my man so maybe you like the thrill of other men wanting you but, all in all they are like you said using you becareful cause you may end up catching some weird disease that you'll regret for the rest of your life and all over being drunk Good like Chick!!!
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