A
female
age
30-35,
*OS-helpme
writes:Me and my boyfriend of 2 years had sex and i think i might be pregnant, and seeing as i come from a Catholic family i cannot tell my parents.What should i do?LoveSOS
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female
reader, tryin2helpu  +, writes (30 July 2008):
 i'm catholic to so i understand where ur coming from. just stay calm. and it will be okay. best of luck
xoxo
A
female
reader, Umari Solanthus  +, writes (30 July 2008):
 I see, that does make it much harder.
In the end you do have to consider what you think is best for you. Do you think you (and your boyfriend, since he is important as well) are ready to become a parent? I know I don't need to say this, but having a child is a huge responsibility, and you are both still young.
If your parents are incredibly devoted to their faith then no matter what you do it will anger them in some way. You will have to be prepared for this. Just do not let them force you into anything like marriage or abortion. The decision must be yours.
Have you taken an actual test to confirm it? If so, any idea how far along you are? You should consider finding this out, as this will tell you how much time you have to think about it. If you are only a couple of weeks then you have time to discuss it with your boyfriend before confronting your parents about your decision.
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A
female
reader, SOS-helpme +, writes (30 July 2008):
SOS-helpme is verified as being by the original poster of the question yeah, my parents are pretty devout, but im not, but still...
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A
female
reader, fortoner +, writes (30 July 2008):
i do agree that you will have to tell them eventually, but you said you "think you might be" pregnant...
Take a test, either at home or go to a free clinic that will let you stay anonomous... if you are going to tell them be absolutely sure you know what is going on first.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2008): Sweetie..You have to tell them. What are you going to do 5 months from now when you are the size of a barn? I don't know much about Catholasisim, but I am a Christian (Baptist denomination,) and I know that a child is a gift from God. If you can't keep the baby, there are thousands of people who would love to give your baby a home. Please know that I will pray for you, and your parents.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2008): If your not going to tell your parents, then what are you going to do. A pregnancy can't be hidden, sooner or later they will find out. Don't tell them, if that's what you want, but eventually they will come to you and ask why your so fat....
Don't be a fool, take a pregnancy test and check if your pregnant. Then go and tell your parents straight away. They're Catholic, they won't want you to get rid of the baby, no matter what, they love you and they will help you bring the baby up. If you don't want the baby, then you still have to do the test, but you will have to go to your doctor and ask for a confidential appointment. Go to your doctor, they will help you decide what's best for you, and if your parents shouldn't know, they will keep your secret, as long as you go and see them right away.
Don't be scared, you had sex, you may be pregnant, your a woman now. Talk to your doctor and see what's the best thing you and your boyfriend can do... Take care of you, and don't worry, you must be brave and sort this out.
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A
male
reader, ChiRaven +, writes (29 July 2008):
 What? Catholic girls don't get pregnant? News to me.
Above all your parents love you. They want what's best for you, even if you've "strayed" in the eyes of their religious faith. Unless you're seriously considering an abortion (in which case you'll probably have to make arrangements on your own) I believe that your best bet is probably to tell them.
Incidentally, if you're early enough that you're still not sure whether or not you're pregnant, you might want to load up on "natural" abortifacients such as Pennyroyal, which can cause a spontaneous miscarriage in the very early stages of pregnancy. They're not real reliable, but they couldn't hurt. For more information on such methods see
http://www.sisterzeus.com/Entpt.htm
And remember, regardless of what you do you can't expect to keep your pregnancy a secret from your parents for very long. They may be old, but they are not blind and they are not stupid. Sooner or later they WILL figure it out. And it will be a LOT better if you tell them than if they have to confront you with it later.
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A
female
reader, Umari Solanthus +, writes (29 July 2008):
Are your parents devout Catholics? I mean, are they incredibly strict in their beliefs? My parents are Catholics as well (although I am CofE), but they are not strong ones.
If your parents are strong Catholics then you do have a problem. I'd imagine they'd be strict on no sex before marriage, and equally you could not consider abortion, because that is seen as a sin.
In the end, you have to think about you want. You are still young, with a full life ahead. Do you and your boyfriend think you are ready for a baby? If so and you want to keep it, then you should tell your parents so. Even if they are Catholic, they are your parents and should want you to be happy above all else, and if you can prove to them that you are ready and mature enough and, most of all, responsible enough, to be a mother, then they should be content and happy and support you with everything that you need.
If they are not happy, this is something you will have to deal with. You cannot please your parents all the time, and while religion is important in some people's lives, it should not dominate everything. It is your desire that is important, not your parents, and I'm sure God would desire that above all else. I've always been a firm believer that God's rules are guidelines, not laws, and he accepts that people will deviate from time to time.
But, in the end, I do think you should tell your parents. If you keep the baby they will find out anyway, so it is best that you sit them down and tell them yourself rather than let your tummy do it for you.
Equally, if you decide you cannot tell them whatever happens, and choose to have an abortion, you have to be ready to accept the consequences of that. But you really should only have an abortion because YOU want it, not because you think your parents will be mad at you.
So, that's my advice. Tell them. Probably best if your boyfriend is with you. Also, you and your boyfriend might want to rehearse what you're going to say to your parents. If you come across as sounding mature and responsible and ready for a baby and everything that comes with it, make it look like you've really planned everything out, that should work well in your favour, with any luck. If you come across like you have no idea, then they'll be justified in being critical.
I hope this helps. Keep us updated.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2008): Ahh as your perents ar Catholic its understandable why you dont want to tell them. but over all i think the best income for you.
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