A
female
age
41-50,
*edvioletskydancer
writes:Hi. I am having a hard time. In a relationship for a year. My husband keeps coming on to women. He went to Salvation Army to get us coats and 3 friends called he was all into this chick. I called him. No nothing to worry about. I went over and bailed out on talking to him he was talking to her for over 4 hours. I felt like such a moron! He invited his best friends wife with us to concerts, fourth of July you name it. He bought her a soda and she visited on our porch until 1 am in the morning talking about how attractive he looked in his glasses and how her husband couldn't get it up on their honeymoon so she masturbated in the hot tub and how tight her body is. He got her tickets for dial a ride for her niece and she stayed in my living room coming on to him for 3 hours. We went to a store to look at shoes and the lady came on to him so we stayed 2 hours as he asked even about shoes for his best friend and Grandma so he could talk longer to her. His Mom got married. I paid the church 300 dollars to do a short term notice marriage and got her cool gifts. I set up a dinner afterwards. I looked the prettiest I had in ten years. I wore a purple Cinderella dress and make-up. I tried really hard. He stared at the huge titted waitress the whole time. I don't know what to do? I try really hard to be a good partner. I wear dress up clothes like nurses, and pirates, rent dirty videos you name it. I can't get him interested. I am so in love with him but want to turn him on. Please help.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2012): What unacceptable, disrespectful, and humiliating behavior. When has it ever been okay for a married man or a man or any man in a serious relationship to behave so overtly flirtatious? What a pig.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2012): Maybe if tried a little flirting it would drive him crazy...
Careful though, it's playing with fire.
I'm pretty sure your guy can be summed up as "wanting what he can't have". Play harder to get in the sexual department. Tease him. Act like you're going to have sex, maybe even go down on him a little, and then just stop. Do things like this for awhile. Tell him you need a man who treats you right. Make him want to please you.
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A
female
reader, redvioletskydancer +, writes (5 March 2012):
redvioletskydancer is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the insight. I appreciate your time and thoughts. As far as getting a woman on the side? You bet he could get a woman on the side. Where ever we go women are willing to raise their skirts and spread their thighs for him. The point is he shouldn't be pursuing those possiblilities if he is in love and committed to me. Women should not be in our home talking about their sexual experiences or his looks, he shouldn't buy them a drink or hold a light for them in the dark, he shouldn't look bluntly at them when I try hard to be pretty for him and put lots of effort in. If wives do the cooking, cleaning, child care, rake in some money for the bills, soothe their husbands, listen to them they should reap some benefits in as well like fidelity and sexual appreciation. I am an attractive girl and have men in their 20's come onto me consistently that I immediately inform I am married and happily. I get away from guys right away if they ask me out of ask me to bed. I don't linger, I don't flirt, I don't stare and I don't buy them things. I expect the same respect and consideration in return as it really hurts my soul when he does shit like that. It also enrages me. When his best friends wife was talking about her genitals I felt like I was going to bash her skull in which is not good.
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (5 March 2012):
 It sounds like your husband still enjoys the chase and the thrill of the hunt. Some guys never out grow that ego boost of knowing they can score a woman on the side despite having a pretty woman at home. Or it could be that your husband is overly friendly with women.
From the sounds of it, you are overdue for a frank conversation with your man. Explain the pain and hurt you are feeling because of his neglect and inattention. See how he reacts and listen to his response. He may not even realize he is doing this or he may naturally be a flirt -- in which case he is unlikely to change.
Ultimately, it sounds like you are doing whatever is necessary to keep your man. There is something else going on here that you haven't identified, but I think the crux of the problem is that you don't feel your husband's priorities and loyalties are towards you.
Again, I urge you to have a talk with your husband or potentially see a therapist to work through the differences.
Good luck!
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