A
male
age
30-35,
*ana
writes:I went on a few dates with a girl but nothing really picked up. A friend of mine ran into the girl randomly at a party and asked her what she thought of me. She said that I was a good person and a lot of fun but not what she was looking for. My friend asked her what made her uninterested and she replied "He's short. I wish he was taller". After my friend told me about this comment I am unable to stop thinking about it. I feel extremely self aware about my height. Im 5'5'' and my growth has stopped. To add the the equation I have very little dating experience and am painfully shy around girls. I feel really hurt by her comment and have lost the small amount of confidence I had because of it.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2008): im 4ft9. 5ft5 ur lucky u will find a girl. cant say il find a guy
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2008): Don't let this girl put you down. She's missing out on a lot because of her superficial nature. I really don't understand why a lot of girls prefer guys that are tall. They're limiting themselves when there are tons of good guys who are below average to average height.
Don't be despair, there are still lots of girls out there who aren't superficial and ignorant. Don't let her hurt your self-confidence. Keep in mind that regardless of height, confidence is the biggest concern for most people, and that includes me.
Perhaps she's just not for you. When you fall for someone, height isn't an issue. Obviously, she didn't like you enough to overlook this.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2008): A man doesn't let a woman influence his esteem. A man takes such pathetic excuses for complaints and uses them as an excuse to find flwas in that other person and make sure everyone knows them. This way said person will not be able to date for a very long time.
I'm kidding. No excuse for the above.
Seriously though... forget about the banshee. Most guys on the planet are between 5 5 and 6 0. Only few go beyond that.
This girl is gonna be really narrowing down and missing out by dating guys taller then her because chances are, not many will be.
Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, AskSusie  +, writes (6 September 2008):
Hi Cana,
Well, there are two ways you can look at this. One way, is looking at it exactly the way you are looking at it and continue to feel down. Not a very good feeling is it?
The other way, is to realise that there are billions of people in the world, and the world is a small circle of life in a huge universe. One little dot in this huge universe made a comment about your height. In the big scheme of things, who cares!? There are probably a billion and one other dots in this huge universe who are going to love you and accept you for who you are - and three of those dots just answered your question on dearcupid.org! So Cana, if I were you, I would laugh at the face of that silly female dot who has just missed out on time with you, and I'd go out and get on with life. Our life is very small in the big scheme of things, it's up to you to use your time wisely and make it significant for you - and whoever doesn't appreciate you for you, well they can just move on!
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (6 September 2008):
So you go out with this girl and it's just not working, you just don't click with her personality wise. It's nothing personal, it's net even something you can explain in words.
So then her best friend comes up to you and says "so how is it going?" and you try and explain in the nicest possible way that you don't think it's going to go anywhere really.
But that is not good enough, the friend wants a specific reason why you don't like this girl, so you think of the first plausible thing that comes to your head - she's too short.
Friend can't argue with this and goes away.
You say yourself - nothing really picked up between you. She is just trying not to insult your personality, so said she is too tall for you.
If you are not a very good horse rider and you go up to a horse and it kicks out, do you think "oh god all horses hate me I must go away and give up" or do you think "it's ok, it's one kick, it missed me anyway, I have no idea why it happened, lets get on and get some riding experience!"
??
Get back on the horse and ask out a short girl to ease yourself back into dating!
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, abbeymom  +, writes (6 September 2008):
 DON'T! Snap yourself out of it, hold your head up high and understand you DO NOT want to go out with someone who is so superficial as to not like someone because they aren't tall enough.
Truth is young people always think looks are important because it's made so via television, magazines and so forth. Just be confident in yourself and trust me a girl will find you attractive height or not. Because confidence is attractive, more than no confidence.
This girl is probably too worried about what her friends will think if she dates a shorter guy. And as for you growing more, you might or might not. My brother was five five until he was twenty two and then boom! Now he's six feet.
He didn't go out with girls who wouldn't date short guys and his answer to them when he found out they didn't like his height. Well I only date girls with character and you have none goodbye!
Keep your chin up and don't sweat it okay?
~ Abbeymom
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