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female
age
,
anonymous
writes: i have been having an affair with a married man for 5yrs, we were friends well before we were lovers,i knew he didnt love hes wife, and was and still is unhappy at home,he tells me he hasnt had sex with her for yrs?i dont believe that for a moment,hes dad is suffering from mental health problems and has tryed to take hes own life twice,thats the reason he gives me for not leaving hes wife.we are both madley in love with each other and our sex life is fantastic. i cant see him leaving hes wife so do i stay with him? or do i end it now? i know it will break my heart if we split, but its hurting everyday he goes home to her,please please help.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2007): He is obviously lying to her what makes you think he is not lying to you about his relationship with his wife if you preasure this man he may leave her for you but he will always be thinking of his wife i should know i was in the same boat as this man i let my wife find out about my infidelity and when it hit the fan i left and moved in with gf things were not as good as they had seemed i was in fantesy land when everything became reality i wanted my wife back i couldnt stop thinking about her and hid this from my girlfriend until all the begging to my wife paid of and she took me back we are now better than ever i have my girlfriend to thank for that i hurt the gf very deeply but who cares i am back where i belong
A
female
reader, Darlene  +, writes (6 January 2007):
 god you sound like me.i have been seeing a guy for 10 years.he has been with a woman he knocked up [as he
puts it]for about 30 years.the child has long since
grown up.his excuse is everything he has built he would loose.they were never married she told me herself they
go their own way.but they stay together.we both need to wake up life is passing us by.we are missing out on a real
one on one relationship with someone all our own.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (4 January 2007):
 You are sloppy seconds. If that's good enough for you then keep doing what you are doing. When you are old and gray you'll be looking back on a wasted, pointless life. Your choice.
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A
female
reader, rammsteinfan +, writes (4 January 2007):
 I think that loving a married man has no future in it! It doesn't seem right to you having to wait for him! You should call it off and find a man who is unattached that will love you and be with you. If he is unhappy in his marriage, he would have left her long ago!
Also if he cheated on his wife, he would probably cheat on you once he became unhappy with you!
You more or less wasted 5 years of your life!!!
Good Luck to you
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2007): End it now before things become more difficult. It will be hard and painful, but after 5 years he should have taken action and left his wife if it was part of his plan.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (4 January 2007):
 Where would you like him to go home to? He's not married to you. You have no claim on him. He has no right to be cheating on his wife. You're both be dishonest and devious. The only hope you have is to rrealize the error of your ways, decide to be a better choice maker in life and take the moral high road. You must realize that not many people will sympathize with you. You are doing something that could potentially hurt someone. And, you choose to do it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2007): You end it as soon as you can and I'll tell you why. You have given up 5 years of your life, based on a fantasy. You state you both are madly in love with each other. I'm afraid that is not true because if he loved you, he would allow you to get just these little crumbs of stolen time with him . He'd make this all or nothing. It's obvious his marriage isn't that bad or he would be out of it by now. Love is giving to each other, making life decisions together, setting goals and having dreams together. . This not love when you have to wait on him to decide if he wants to be with you. If this man whom you love so much cannot spend his thinking about you, wanting to be with you and coming home to you-then it's not love , because at the end of the day, he's going home to her and all you are doing, is helping a married man-cheat on his wife. That's all this is. So-I suggest you stop seeing him and let him figure out what he wants to do with his life and his marriage, on his own. Stop making this so easy for him-go find a man who'll give his all to you. I think you know you do deserve better
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A
female
reader, Pretty and proud  +, writes (4 January 2007):
 you should not have even started this! put yourself in her shoes for a moment, you would not like to be cheated on like this would you? end it as soon as possible, yes it will break your heart but you will need to move on sometime and just remember she is in love with him too and if they split up its partly your fault, you should have said no from the start, shame on him too for doing this to his wife, its the most horrid way to hurt someone. 5 years is a long time and it will take time to get over but just keep yourself busy and the perfect man will come along. xxx
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