A
male
age
30-35,
*occerStar21
writes:Hello everyone, I'm in great need of advice in contrast with an ex-girlfriend. Her birthday is right around the corner and even though I'm great with words I just don't know what I shall write in her card, there are reasons behind this. One of them sticks because my feelings for her still remain in me, and I've dreamed for the past 3 months that we'd get back together. She was the first girlfriend I've had for 4 years and well when I saw her I just melted inside, to a lot of people she's nothing special but the simplicity of her appearance and how she carried herself, that first impression made her special to me. She's also my first somewhat lengthy relationship, from 4-5 months. That time frame I really changed for the better because I really didn't have a life, I had given up on my sports and was only on my games. Wasn't concerned about a job, but after that Friday when I asked her out, I gave up those games, and the following week I'd gotten a job. About a month in I got back into my sports I'd given up on. I'd also really mellowed out, people around me and especially my parents noticed something, I was actually content with my life and smiled, I'd lost my serious mono-tone attitude. Her parents absolutely loved me, I felt like they were my second family. Everything was going great until January, we literally didn't see each other the whole month except during school, our schedules had become over-strained and we shared no free days. She's always been really involved with Activities outside of school. Between soccer practice, schoolwork (I felt that her grades came first before we did anything), and church activities. Where as for me, I'd picked up soccer after 7 years of not playing, football after 2 years, and baseball after 6, along with work, I saw we both were over scheduled somewhat. Then came the breakup, after school and the start of the weekend, we went through school as we usually did but the evening was one that I died upon. I walked her to her parking spot and halfway there she just stopped, and yeah, she looked at me and said "this isn't working." That was 3 months ago come this Friday. Yet I haven't lost a single feeling towards her,so I guess another question to this is how do I go about getting her back. I gave it time, and about a month ago I felt really bad because we just didn't talk at all, I got her a pillow of her favorite color and got her name and a soccer ball embroidered on it. She loved it, I then followed that up with Ice cream and a walk around the park the following Friday. Her friends have offered to talk to her for me, but I try to be one of my own, and I'd prefer to do things myself because in doing so it means that much more if it works. I'm running out of options and I've learned from a friend of hers that "I'm to nice" and that may be a reason we split. I mean yeah, I'm full of compliments and would love to have spoiled her but she didn't let me do that, I let her know that she was the world and more to me, and I'd be there for anything. I haven't uncovered any reasons other than that. From what some say there more. I'm just lost and don't know where to go, I find it extremely hard to let this go and the thought of her keeps me going on my conditioning, workouts, and games. I also really want to talk to her about "what" went wrong and find out why were not together anymore. I just don't know how to go about doing that, because I fear that she'll be annoyed by that. How do I find the right moment to ask?I'm sorry about the multiple questions in this one post, I guess this could be labeled somewhere of getting and ex back?
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female
reader, Zuie  +, writes (23 November 2010):
This is so sweet to read, I'm so happy for you! You seem like a really great, geniune guy and she's really lucky to have you!
A
male
reader, SoccerStar21 +, writes (23 November 2010):
SoccerStar21 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Another follow up, after monthes of waiting. Needless to say I have the love of my life back, and cherish every moment of it we spend together as of Sept. 25th of this year. She really did appreciate all that I had done for her on the off time, and I found out by putting puzzle peices together that nothing was wrong the first time, just that she was a year younger and was unsure of a serious relationship. After one of our dates this month I posted on my facebook something from my heart and how I felt that evening, the next day when she read it she immediatly got ahold of me and said it was one of the most incredible things she's read about her and she said the three words I've held back because I didn't know if she was ready for me to say it, again I thank you so much for the advice every little thing does matter.
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A
female
reader, puds123 +, writes (11 May 2010):
aww no problem at alll!! im glad i helped!! please let me know how you get on best of luck!
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A
male
reader, SoccerStar21 +, writes (8 May 2010):
SoccerStar21 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionPuds,
Thanks for the advice. I included it in the letter in short and simple manner. Unfortunately, when I dropped the letter off I just missed her by minutes so the personal meaning to me felt like it was lost, she ended up receiving it a day later. I'm going to talk to her about it and I know for a fact she enjoys going out for fun evenings. I will definitely be asking. Again, thank you so much for the advice, it means so much to me, and if it works out I would owe the world and everything more.
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A
female
reader, puds123 +, writes (26 April 2010):
hey,If i were you I would get her a card that had a short simple message written on it but also include a letter in the card. In the letter I would put your feelings down but dont be overly romantic or too nice (only because it was said you being too nice helped your break up). You could tell her in the letter that you do still have feelings for her and realise why your relationship went wrong but feel that if you both work at it and create time for it then maybe it could work. Maybe you could say you could both start over but first be just good friends and go on dates and rekindle the memories from when your relationship started because to most these are the best bits of a relationship. Then slowly take things further until you are both happy with how the relationship is going.Good luck =D
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