A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am still good friends with my previous boyfriend who I was with for a year. He has some personal issues such as depression, and as one of the few people that he really trusts, I like him to know that I'm there for him.However, my new boyfriend who I love and am living with instantly didn't get on with my ex, and seems to be under the impression that my ex is still in love with me. This isn't the case at all - he just needs somebody to be there for him.Whenever I go to see my ex now, my boyfriend plays a full on guilt trip saying 'I don't want you to go but I can't stop you..' and gets in a huge mood.I've tried to get him to come round to my ex's with me, but he refuses to, and I've tried to get my ex to meet me out somewhere rather than go round to his, but he's in such a state that he doesn't go anywhere anymore.How can I go and see him without my boyfriend getting in a mood, because I can't just drop him.
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male
reader, omon  +, writes (8 December 2007):
 Interesting how women think.How would it go down with you when you find out that your BF still ''sees'' his ex-? I know you generally want to be nice but it will definitely affect your present relationship and as far as I am concerned, you are already going down the drain with your present BF coz YOU DON'T CARE HOW HE FEELS NOW.The ex- was better and you miss him...
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (8 December 2007):
 Put yourself in his shoes. What if he had the ex girlfriend, they spent a year together and he leaves you at home to comfort her. I'm real good friends with my ex wife. It made my daughters mom uncomfortable all though our communication was on the phone and our conversation was based on counseling with her depression and bipolar.
It's Ok to be friends and want to be there for someone, but you need to also take into account and respect the feelings of the person you are with now. Talk about it rationally and come up with something that works for both of you.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (8 December 2007):
Put yourself in his shoes. What if he had the ex girlfriend, they spent a year together and he leaves you at home to comfort her. I'm real good friends with my ex wife. It made my daughters mom uncomfortable all though our communication was on the phone and our conversation was based on counseling with her depression and bipolar.
It's Ok to be friends and want to be there for someone, but you need to also take into account and respect the feelings of the person you are with now. Talk about it rationally and come up with something that works for both of you.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (8 December 2007):
Put yourself in his shoes. What if he had the ex girlfriend, they spent a year together and he leaves you at home to comfort her. I'm real good friends with my ex wife. It made my daughters mom uncomfortable all though our communication was on the phone and our conversation was based on counseling with her depression and bipolar.
It's Ok to be friends and want to be there for someone, but you need to also take into account and respect the feelings of the person you are with now. Talk about it rationally and come up with something that works for both of you.
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A
male
reader, ElectroChris +, writes (8 December 2007):
Interesting.
You keep iterating that you "can't just drop him", and I wonder why this might be.
To me, an ex is an ex, and that's how many people see it.
It's one thing to carry on a casual friendship with an ex whose romantic bond to you has long been put to rest, but if this relationship is fairly fresh, I can definitely see your boyfriend's issue with the cirumstance.
I think you first need to examine why it is you "can't just drop" this ex, and when you've ruled out all possibility of a lingering attraction, then sit your boyfriend down and explain to him that you feel your ex is lonely, and still needs company.
Don't be surprised, though, if he retorts with "why does he have to have YOU as company? Doesn't he have other friends?"
Because honestly, that's what I'm asking myself right now.
Sort it out, meditate on the truths of your situation, and remember to always communicate with your mate.
love,
Chris
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A
male
reader, ElectroChris +, writes (8 December 2007):
Interesting.You keep iterating that you "can't just drop him", and I wonder why this might be.To me, an ex is an ex, and that's how many people see it. It's one thing to carry on a casual friendship with an ex whose romantic bond to you has long been put to rest, but if this relationship is fairly fresh, I can definitely see your boyfriend's issue with the cirumstance.I think you first need to examine why it is you "can't just drop" this ex, and when you've ruled out all possibility of a lingering attraction, then sit your boyfriend down and explain to him that you feel your ex is lonely, and still needs company.Don't be surprised, though, if he retorts with "why does he have to have YOU as company? Doesn't he have other friends?"Because honestly, that's what I'm asking myself right now.Sort it out, meditate on the truths of your situation, and remember to always communicate with your mate.love,Chris
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