A
female
age
36-40,
*ockyroad
writes:In the past my husband has had no problem making me achieve multiple orgasms. last month I found porn sites on his computer and I am four months pregnant. I cant seem to have an orgasm since, I even had to fake it for the first time in our relationship. I cant seem to get the thought out of my head that he is thinking about these non pregnant women and he isn't giving me enough for-play to stimulate me even after I tell him I need more attention. Could it be I am just pregnant and my body has changed or is it problems with our relationship.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2008): if he doesnt prefer non pregnant women as the poster below said, it would be safe to say he is only looking at pregnant porn???
I actually agree with the poster who said he's not worth it...anyone knows women can feel insecure about their bodies at the best of times with all the media emphasis on womens bodies , let alone when your pregnant. As a woman who is a single mother and left her partner because of his wandering eyes.. I can tell you having my baby on my own was wonderful, and I was so much happier than when I was with him and feeling like crap.
I have now remarried to a wonderful man who never uses porn and has his eyes on me....life couldnt be better...I think we need to listen to all experiences, many women simply dont want men who use porn and are happy to be on their own rather than with a guy who wants to look at other women.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2008): Dear Poster
You do not have to be upset or unhappy about the porn;
Most men look at porn; being it from curiosity or fantasy or what ever the individuals reason might be; it is very normal and not strange; (as long he is not obsessed with it).
Your body an your hormones are going through changes and adjustments; so will your sexual needs; I suggest you have a loving conversation to your husband and explain to him that you need his love, attention and affection now more then ever; show him what you would like him to do to arouse you more; or tell him what you prefer; COMMUNICATION is vital;
Maybe if you feel upto it; why not watch a porn movie with him?
ANyway keep your sex life spiced and active; being pregnant is great and no reason to stop having great sex.
Best wishes. lots of hugs and SMILES
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2008): I don't think we should barate a persons opinion. We offer advice to people and we give our opinion.
In this case this is her opinion.
My suggestion to Ms. Anonymous is to think about what you would do in the situation, realistically. Its easier said than done with the majority of solutions to problems we find on this site.
More importantly, men look at porn sites. Its a fact of life. Married men, single men, boys in general.... I remember when my friend told me he found his dad's porn stash.
You said you had to fake it, which means he still has sex with you. Which still means he loves you for you. Hes probably been looking at these sites for months, months before you were even married and I know that might not help, but its possible.
He hasn't cheated on you. He doesn't prefer non-pregnant women. He loves you - he married you - and he was probably on Cloud-9 when you told him you were pregnant.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2008): Ms. Anon, you continue to give some of the most ignorant advice that I have ever read. Your hatred of porn makes you want to break up every relationship where porn is involved, even to the extent of telling a pregnant woman that she would be better off leaving a husband who has been good to her and to go off and have and raise a baby alone. As Diovan has indicated, take the time to think before giving such stupid advice and try to put aside your paranoid hangups before you try to break up every marriage involving porn like you continue to do.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2008): Hi Ms anonymous,
Your advice is not sensible. Do you think that should would be better off alone, single and pregnant, and then bringing up her child alone? You want her to live in poverty because her man looks at some naked ladies. This is not right, this is not fair, to give her advice like this. Please madam, think of you child, think of your marriage and take the advice that the other aunts have offered here.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2008): if he thought she was so special he would have no interest in looking at other womens naked bodies
its time we stopped letting these men off the hook and demanded a bit more respect
she is his wife and he got her pregnant...he should be doing everything in his power to make her feel great about her changing body.....not looking at other women....most men (or women who have never had a baby) have no idea of the changes mothers go though....tell him to grow up or walk and find a man who respects you and really does think your special enough that he has no desire to look at other women
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A
female
reader, :):):)  +, writes (26 August 2008):
You are his wife, he had made a commitment to you and you are carrying his baby.He obviously loves you dearly.
Most men look at porn at some point in their lives, its just natural curiosity, (and im sure you've looked before too!) But these girls are just images and bare no resemblance to real women.
Once you get begin to realise this and see that he chose to marry you because he loves you then your sex life will Improve.
Ofcourse pregnancy changes your body, but you are coming into the second stage of pregnancy (known for increasing sex drive) so things should improve.
Enjoy your pregnancy and belive how special he thinks you are. xxx
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A
male
reader, ChiRaven +, writes (24 August 2008):
 Pregnancy does cause some changes, there's no doubt about it. But it's not impossible that there are some psychological factors involved here, too.
Just remember, porn is fantasy, not reality. It has nothing to do with your husband's relationship with you.
The problem with him not providing you with enough stimulation IS a VERY serious mater, though. This is something that you should talk to him about right away. Just sit him down some time (net when you're planning to be intimate) and explain that your body seems to have changed somewhat, probably because of your pregnancy, and that you need a lot more by way of sexual stimulation from him in order to be satisfied with your sex life right now. Let him know that this is a serious need on your part. If you explain it during a calm moment, not a moment of passion, it's more likely to register with him as something that he should be doing to take care of your needs. If you deliberately acknowledge your pregnancy as part of the whole situation, he will not be able to dismiss the whole thing as just some whim of a pregnant woman. Tell him that the real physical changes make this necessary for you.
Oh, and make sure that he knows that you're willing to do whatever is necessary to be sure that he has a good time as well. It should work both ways.
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A
female
reader, miso31 +, writes (24 August 2008):
I do know that when you are pregnant your hormones will make everything seem colossal and you become extra sensitive. Did you look at porn before you were pregnant...are you sure? Most men due. Even men who are dating hot, supermodels look at porn :) It's in their genetic coding I think. He might be looking at it more now not because he doesn't think your one hot mommy but maybe it's an escape because he's scared of impeding fatherhood? You might not be reaching orgasm because you're feeling self conscious of your changing body and your equating him looking at porn with him not being attracting to your body. Would you be willing to look at it with him? Don't fake it. Just don't put pressure on yourself. Just don't see orgasm as the goal and just enjoy everything else about being with your husband. Good luck!
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