A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I've gotten to know this girl around 8 months ago. We're both 16, in the same school, same classes, everything. Ive gotten to know her so well, and I spend every waking minute thinking about her. I really think I love her, but see the problem is that I can't date her, or anything of that sort because of religion matters, which I put into deep consideration always. What I'm asking is how do I stop thinking about her as much? Or better yet, what should I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2012): If you're a muslim, it's totally fine to date her, but you need to respect certain rules like no excessive touchin, kissing etc. But if you're not muslim, and she is a muslim, it's not allowed in islam for a muslim girl to marry a non muslim man, so you have to become a muslim to marry her later on but still you can date. That's all I know.
But you're still young, there's plenty of other girls you'll meet later and by that time you'll forget about her. Just occupy yourself right now and you'll be fine.Good luck!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2012): I'm from Jordan too (a Muslim) so maybe I can help you out a bit. Is the problem that you two have different religions, or that you can't date because of your religion? I'm not a scholar or anything, but I believe dating is ok. That's how you get to know a person and see if they're right for you. If you're religious and you do want to date, you can put some restrictions on yourselves, like no excessive touching, staying away from some certain topics, etc. You may have more freedom being the male (unfair society rules), and she may not be able to go out as much, and/or you might have to be careful of being seen together if her family is more traditional. But it could out work I think.If you're of different religions, then: she's can't marry a guy of a different religion if she's a Muslim; if however you are the Muslim one in the relationship you could marry her. But the decision to allow/not allow will eventually rest with the respective families. So you could choose to remain friends (with no intention of marriage), forget about each other, or overcome this hard-to-overcome religious AND cultural rule. You're still young, so if you start hanging out with other people, or just devote less time to her, then I believe the interest will be lost eventually, especially since you state that you want to "stop thinking about her." Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (18 February 2012):
 Well, I'm sorry to hear about your dilemma.
I agree with Danielpew that dating her would be very, very difficult, from both families and the religious differences involved.
It's going to be hard because you're in the same classes, and everything, but all I can add is that as far as possible, you should try to cut way back on chatting and socializing with her as much as you can. You might want to let her know that its nothing personal (i.e., she hasn't done or said anything to upset or offend you) just that you have come to the conclusion that the religious issues are too great to really be friends.
I'm sorry, I know you wish it were otherwise......good luck.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (18 February 2012):
 Yes.... It was the religious leaders who kept telling us that the Earth is flat... and that the Earth is the center of the Universe.... I spend a lot of time listening to the sagacity of the religious leaders that I know....
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A
female
reader, Holli'  +, writes (17 February 2012):
 Hello dear,
This is a difficult one, it is a shame you have fallen for someone who it would be difficult to have a relationship with, however 'there are plenty more birds in the trees'.
If you feel you cannot have a relationship with this girl and you'd rather try to stop thinking about her you need to occupy your mind with something else, this can be done by getting yourself busy with something else such as a new hobby or something, working, studying, going out with your friends, riding or football whatever things can take your mind off her and occupy it elsewhere, this is something you can try, also you could speak to a sibling or your parents about how you feel to see if they would allow it.
I hope this helps you, good luck with your decision, take care.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (17 February 2012):
 I see you're in Jordan. That is a place where religious passion gets inflamed.
Unless your families were very liberal, I wouldn't advise you to date someone outside of your religion. Not that I think it's wrong; I just think it will be a lot of heartbreak for the two of you, and you're young enough to have to obey your parents, and to not be able to break away with everything.
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