A
female
age
41-50,
*uite
writes:hey..im really confused and stressed out lately. i m in this relationship for 5 yrs. well i love him so much.. and he does too. but there is a religion difference between us..i mean its okay with me of being different, but he want me to convert to what he belives in, and i couldnt do that..so if i didnt convert that we couldnt be together, and the thing is i couldnt even breathe, or live without him. i tried it but i couldn't make it so i told him i wanted to convert because i belived in it, and i went there and got converted, but in my heart i still cant accept his religion, and i cant live without him. and i dont know what i should do. he is asking me now to get married and i keep delaying his Question, i feel like i wont be happy living with him and without him, i cant find the courge to say i couldnt be what he wanted me to be and stop loving him...what should i do?now i got this job in some other country, and i m planning to move because of him. but i cant decide if i should leave everything behind, or just get married and live with him, havent told him that i got a job and im moving because he keeps talking about getting married and it makes me feel so weak and guilty.i dont know what i should do and not to do?i cant eat, talk with ppl, or work. i m so depressed and stressed? i really need an advice.thank you!
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female
reader, Adorskable  +, writes (31 January 2011):
 You can't force yourself to believe in what you don't believe simple as that. Religion is very important to alot of people and it can be the foundation of a marriage and family but if you have different belief than your not being true to yourself and this convertion was a lie and you can't base the future of a relationship on a lie. I think you should take that job and leave. If he can't accept you belonging to a different religion that the best thing for you to do is to split ways. It will hurt now but with time it will be heal, so take this painful steps now.
A
male
reader, II_Seraphim_II  +, writes (31 January 2011):
I think the above people have pretty much said it. Don't go through with it. Think of it this way, by accepting his religion on the pretense of being with him but not actually believing, you would be making a mockery of his religion. And I know you are deeply in love with him and it feels like the world will end without him, but trust me, you are far more resilient than you give yourself credit for. You can make it through without him. Perhaps he isnt the one for you. When I was a child I would ask my mother "How will I know if I find the right person?" and she would say "Life will become easy" And from what you are saying, its definitely not easy for you. I think if you do this you may end up resenting him :(
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (31 January 2011):
 DO NOT GET MARRIED! I really think you'd be very unhappy and making a huge mistake.
You say you converted to his religion because he urged you to. He should never have put pressure on you to do that.
If you have a job in another country, I'd go there, and cut off all contact with him.
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A
female
reader, GG96 +, writes (31 January 2011):
Your boyfriend shouldn't force you to convert if in your heart you don't believe it. Tell him you love him, but in your heart you can't accept his religion and be happy. If he really loves you, he will understand.
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