A
female
age
41-50,
*odkablue
writes:theres something wrong with me.i cant ever seem to feel good about myself.recently i heard my ex got married and i was very upset by this news-so much so ive been in tears o and off the last 3 months-i know im sadat the same time ive just come out of a relationship with a guy ive been with 5 years. he used to work with me and my ex fiance. ive since left the job and my ex fiance got married-we had a house together which he has since sold and i didnt get any.i just keep blaming myself for everything. back then i was friends with this guy when i was with my fiance-wrong i know but my fiance didnt show much emotion to me and i felt lonely-silly i knowanyway eventually me and my fiance split and i went out with this guy after.i hate myself. i keep thinking i was horrible to my first ex i keep torturing myself that the person hes with now is lovely and wonderful and im just a bag of crap.he never gave me any of the house he must have hated me so much. im just always in tears. im trying to amend for my past mistakes by helping the guy im with. even though he had made me financially destitute and hasnt shown me any affection for years i kind of feel like its a karma thing so i feel i have to help this guy. im never gonna feel good about myself. i always feel bad and i feel that even though i felt my first ex didnt really show me any love i shouldnt have been friends with my current ex. i never want to be with anyone again.im not a bad person but cannot forgive myself help !
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male
reader, Mat_auw  +, writes (12 July 2009):
 Dear Vodkablue,Sorry to hear about your situation, you must be feeling really really down at the moment, perhaps like in a never-ending abyss where you just keep falling and falling, never to pick yourself up again. It must have felt especially terrible to hear of your ex's marriage and to break up with your current boyfriend of 5 yrs (a long time for any relationship) all in short succession, like a double whammy at least...You didn't explain why you had to end your relationship with your current boyfriend but I'm hazarding a guess that it had something to do with your ex-fiance's recent marriage.I'd like to borrow from a famous verse called "Desiderata" whose author till today remains unknown - "You are a child of the Universe and have a right to be here". Your life is just as precious as everyone else's and you have every right to pursue love, peace and happiness. Don't you dare ever give up no matter how lousy or low-down you feel, because the dawn will always come no matter how long and lonely your night of sorrow.Recognise that you're going through a prolonged phase of sadness and depression because of the harsh blows you've been dealt. Take some time to let your soul and body embrace and process the emotions and they will eventually fade away. Some people take a month, some people take years. I hope you'll find the strength to move on as soon as you feel ready to do so.Continuing to not forgive yourself and hold your own life hostage is not a virtue but a very selfish act. You are young and there must be so many exciting things you've been wondering to try at the back of the mind, so many places you want to see, so many friends you've yet to meet and so many people who need your help!Don't force yourself to seek another relationship if you do not want to. Perhaps this is a great chance to re-discover yourself and the things you enjoy and have a passion for.In conclusion, take the time you need to process your emotions and feelings, then it's time to move on 'coz your life is waiting for you! Best wishes.
A
female
reader, vodkablue +, writes (12 July 2009):
vodkablue is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni just wanted to say thank you to those who have commented. when youre feeling as low as i am to hear nice comments means a lot thank you
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A
male
reader, a-g55 +, writes (12 July 2009):
 You sound like you just need someone who knows what their talking about to spend a few hours fixing you. You're in a depression spiral and you just feel like everyday that goes by is making you sink further. Somewhere along the line you just need to say stop... today i need to make changes that will lift me up again. The past experiences you have had are in the past and the people in your past seem to have moved on and don't care that you are sooo depressed. However deep down you want them to see what state they have left you in. Well my advice is to make it your mission to repair yourself and get your life back on track because no1 will do it for you and if u start now then its going to be ten times easier than it will be if u started in 10 days time....
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