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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: My husband and me were having our year wedding anniversary. Until my sister came crying to me because her boyfriend was cheating on her with her best friend and she broke up with him on the spot. She was really upset about it so I cancelled had our anniversary and I even let her stay with us just until she can a place for herself. Which really piss off my husband and hasn't really talk to me since then. Is there a way to make it up to him?
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anniversary, best friend, broke up, wedding Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (3 February 2009):
 I've given my advice, I've reviewed it, I Stand by it.
FA
A
female
reader, didda123  +, writes (2 February 2009):
 I don't think we are missing the point at all Fatherly Advice! What would you have done differently given the situation?
Would you have told her sister to come back at a more convenient time? How inconsiderate of her to become so upset and ruin the anniversary and its not a female perspective at all just common decency.
If he can't handle the sister for a few weeks god help him when they have children.
He is being very selfish once he realizes that there won't be a problem at all you have to give to receive.
I can't believe anyone would be totally pissed off with that scenario unless they are totally selfish and in need of all the attention. The only saving grace he could possibly have is if this sort of thing is a regular occurance.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (2 February 2009):
Woah! girls we are missing the important part of the problem here. We have an essentially newlywed couple here with a live in sister. This is a disaster waiting to happen. A veritable mine field. You need to get her in her own place in less than a week if possible.
As to the husbands feeling you seem to be applying female thinking to a male problem. From the guys point of view you really messed up. Fortunately after you talk to him and make it up to him, he is likely to forget his hurt and go on as if it never happened.
FA
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A
female
reader, coucou206  +, writes (2 February 2009):
 He shouldnt be angry! Its your house just as much as it is his. As long as your sis behaves herself, is polite and gracious whats his problem?
Coucou xxxxx
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A
female
reader, didda123 +, writes (2 February 2009):
I think he is being a little bit selfish is this a normal trait of his, as Gina said how would he feel if it was one of his siblings? Put that dilema to him!
I would have done exactly as you did your sister came at an unfortunate time but she was distressed and turned to you - so what if your anniversary was postponed until calmer times. I don't think you have done anything shocking by supporting your sister the majority of people would have done that and it would have looked very heartless to push her out distressed because you had plans, it wasn't as if you had a flight booked or anything!
If he had any concern for your feelings he wouldn't be making you suffer over this.
Personally i would hold out for an apology off him he is being totally unreasonable in my opinion and given time i'm sure he will realize that!
Give them an inch they will take a mile stand your ground x
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (2 February 2009):
Hey hang on, why wasn't he there with you comforting HIS little sister? He may be only her big brother by marriage, but when a family drama like this happens then it is all hands on deck.
He can't just leave you to it and sulk off.
Yes the timing was unfortunate but he should understand that in a case like that when she turns up your doorstep having left her home and her life behind after trauma, you can't exactly say "Ooh, well could you give us a couple of hours? Only we had plans...."
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2009): OK, I won't dwell on your sister's problem, but you did not say where you were having your anniversary celebration/dinner...Were you at home or at a restaurant? If you were at home, you should have just said stay here and calm down and you and your husband should have gone out. As it was, you cancelled everything to give your sister a shoulder to cry on. I can understand how your husband felt. All I can say is try to explain that you are sorry and suggest some way you can be alone and have a real anniversary, even if you have to tell your "baby" sister to go to a very long movie or go to a disco. It doesn't matter as long as she just "gets lost" for a decent period of time. Surely she is old enough to manage that for herself..(?) And don't act as if you are "doing it for him"..that would be worse than not doing it, but that you really want the time with him, yourself.
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