A
male
age
30-35,
*tunna
writes:im in a relation ship, and we just started having sex.but ive been under alot of stress and could only get a semi and barley keep it up, the only thing i really want to do is pleasure her, is there anything that i can do to get some stuff off my mind and be able to pleasure her? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, mum2be  +, writes (18 June 2007):
Tke some time out before you have sex... just spend the time together, cuddling and being close... this should leave your mind free to think of just her... and the stress should leave. I hop it works for you.
A
male
reader, leonard j.Douglas  +, writes (18 June 2007):
Hi! Welcome to "The Club Of Sometimes It Works And Sometimes It Don't". There are many things that interfere with an erection. How about when you Masturbate? Do you have a firm erection? And can you then maintain that erection for awhile? When you are Self-Stimulating your penis? And then can you bring yourself to an orgasm? If the answer to the above is Yes. Well and good. You mention you are under lots of stress, but you don't say what kind of stress, So I'll take a stab in the dark,and say. Your stress is from a first time sexual relationship. Gee! On my Honeymoon, I had that soft,limp noodle syndrome happened to me. Can laught about it now, but then I was devastated. To make matters worse, I didn't even know at that time how to bring my wife to a climax, orgasm. Most of us men have taught ourselves to just get the job done, have our orgasm, as quickly as possible. So the penis is only doing what it has been taught to do. When you add a lovely, sexy, female's body into your sexuality. You got stress, and that is no doubt the stress that you are talking about. Hey! Before that all you had to do was to take care of your own sexual needs, But Now, Wow! You got to also take care of a woman's Passionflower, Vagina. Oh Yes! That can be very stressful. It was years before I discoverd, say most of my life, and lots of good sex books latter, that sex is much, much more than keeping an erected penis stroking a vagina. Whereas only one woman out of three can have an orgasm by Penile- Vaginal-Stimulation, Stroking. So you are not alone, When it comes to not getting it up or not keeping it up. When did I get to feeling great about my sexuality? Well lets say good.
It was When I decided a woman's sexual needs must come first And it really didn't matter if I got an erection or could keep it erected. Hey! You got eight fingers, two thumbs and one great Tongue, as I see it you got eleven great penises to please your Ladylove. Me I love the closeness of a woman's vagina. With Oral-Sex it's the nicest way to tell a woman, "I love You". Also with my face down in Heavenlyvalle,her groin. and my tongue stroking her clitoris. I don't need to ask her,if she has had an orgasm.I know. You also may find that once you go down on her, and she has her orgasm that you will get an instant,nice firm erection to work with. Take an oral break and don't push your vaginal-penetration for awhile, But do get some good books to share together. Okay.
Relax don't make sex work,get naked and enjoy each others bodies,and do make make sex fun. It's the only way, and the best way, to take the stress out of your relationship. relationship.
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A
female
reader, jabey +, writes (18 June 2007):
I hope firstly that she is being understaanding of this, so you have no added pressure.
I would explain that you still really fancy her and that this is just due to stress, as sometimes a woman may take it personally. The obvious problem is that the more it worries you the worse it will be.
So at the moment i would not even try intercourse, at the moment just pleasure her with your tongue and fingers.
then need to look into other factors, do you drink or smoke this can make the problem worse. Are you fit an healthy, if the problem persists, visit your gp, he can check all is well with you physically.
This is an extremely common problem you are not alone, and usually very temporary, so all will be well.
try to relax and for a while do not attempt intercourse so the pressure is off for a while xxx
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