A
female
age
30-35,
*race77
writes:Hi, i need some advise. I broke up with my LDR bf of 3 months ,this weekend sent him message on facebook that i want to break up with him and he just said he respect ny decision. But he never unfriend or even blocked me on facebook. Why you think he doesnt do that, is he still hoping for a chance? Its killing me, i know i was the one who broke up with him, but i just hope he.would say something than just saying he respect my decision. Did he really care?
View related questions:
broke up, facebook Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2019): Being friends on Facebook or any other social networking website means absolutely nothing. He has probably friended lots of people he has never met; or he hardly receives any contact from. You're on his list of contacts, which gives him the option to snoop on you for sport. Now you've been relegated to a face and one of his followers. It's all about numbers...the more followers the better!
He gave you no argument when you wanted to breakup. It's likely he's dating other women anyway; and if you want to keep stalking him on FB, it's fine. No skin off his nose! It's long-distance, and he's well out of reach!
Do yourself a favor. Block him and move on!
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (22 May 2019):
 Well, nobody can be certain of this but a few possibilities come to mind (and I suspect none of them are the answer you are looking for):
- The LDR didn't mean anything to him in the grander scheme of things. If it had, he would have fought to keep it going when you sent him the message ending it instead of just agreeing.
- He doesn't really care who his Facebook "friends" are as they are not real friends.
- He doesn't live his life on Facebook.
- He is a decent guy who doesn't get all pissy and dramatic when someone ends a very short relationship with him.
- He doesn't get as hung up on Facebook "protocol" as you do.
I could go on but I am sure you see what I am getting at. I think you are HOPING he is not unfriending/blocking you as he still wants to get back with you but, in reality, I doubt very much this is the case. I could be wrong of course, but people who WANT to stay in a relationship usually make at least SOME attempt to fight for it when the other party tries to end things, rather than just saying "OK, thanks", as he did.
For the record, splitting up with him via Facebook message sounds rather trashy, even if the "relationship" only lasted 3 months.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (20 May 2019):
 But did you want to break up , OP, or did you just want to stir up drama ?
Because if you really, seriously meant to break up with this guy- if any, you should be pleased and relieved that you managed to disentangle yourself smoothly, without causing him any major shock and hurt; or that , if he is hurt, at least he handles it with calm and dignity ,and he hides his disappointment well. Don't tell me that you would be happier knowing that this break up broke his heart !, or happier dealing with a dumped lover who won't let go and will keep stalking and pestering you !
… Perhaps , you mostly wanted to yank his chain, sort of give him a scare… and he did not play along. You said : I am leaving you and he, very reasonably, said : Ok.Have a good life !
Maybe in this there's a lesson about saying what you mean, and meaning what you say…
Anyway, no, his attitude does not have to mean that he never cared . It may mean that, yes, but more probably … it just means that life, luckily, is not a soap opera.So if a person leaves you after just 3 months of dating, a ) it's a bummer, but rarely it is a major tragedy, you haven't had the time materially to develop a deep attachment b ) you realize that if things sizzled then fizzled in just 3 months there must be a problem of incompatibility or bad communication or something, or some major deal breaker has emerged,- and in this case better sooner than later , better accepting that you do not work well as a couple
after 3 months than after 3 years ! c ) you understand that although relationships ARE important and everybody would like to have a loving, fulfilling relationship… still , life is not all about having, or not having , a relationship, and being half of a couple is not the be-all and end-all of everything; there are other things that count as well in life , so a bump in the road of love… is just a bump in the road- something you overcome and move on from, not something to stop you dead forever .
In short- maybe he never cared, or maybe he did care to some extent, yet he refused to turn a break up into some very dramatic life-changing big deal, - because for many people, not just your ex, it would not be a very dramatic life-changing big deal, but simply that which happens when you date: some times things work beautifully- and other times they don't.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2019): A bit childish sending him a message dumping him, he probably thought it wasn't worth it with someone who would do it that way. He sounds decent to be fair and accepts it, i am guessing you wanted him to break down and cry about it?
...............................
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (20 May 2019):
 I don’t really think that proves whether he cared or not. It has absolutely no relevance whatsoever. People care way too much about social media.
...............................
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (20 May 2019):
 We cant read his mind about why he hasn't unfriended you or blocked you on facebook.
You broke it off and he said okay. Surely that's better than breaking it off and then have the guy say rotten things to you or about you, or threaten you in some way.
Maybe he wasn't all that invested in the relationship, and so he is okay with your decision.
If it bothers you so much you could try blocking HIM on facebook.
...............................
|
