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I believe I am God's match for her

Tagged as: Crushes, Friends, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 June 2012) 6 Answers - (Newest, 9 June 2012)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I am in love wih my best friend (female) and I'm pretty sure she hasn't thought of me in a romantic way. I honestly love everything about her. I'm nothing special but I do feel that I am God's match for her. What do I do? How do I go about it? Any additional advice?

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (9 June 2012):

YouWish agony auntI agree with Cerberus, but for different reasons.

God doesn't match people. You have to court her like you would any other person. You are open to rejection by her same as anyone else. She might not feel the same for you that you do for her. When you start feeling like she's God's choice, you assume entitled to her and then won't give her the choice. You then push the issue and build her up so much that you could get let down. You certainly can't go up to her and say, "I think God sent you to me".

You know the commandment "Don't use the name of the Lord in vain", right? This is one of those things. Unless you had a visit from God himself, you can't invoke him when he didn't talk to you. You're just FEELING like she's perfect. This is okay, but remember, she has free will. Do not blame God if it doesn't work out.

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A female reader, BondGirl72 United States +, writes (9 June 2012):

BondGirl72 agony auntThere are a lot of subtle things you can do to start dropping hints that you care more about her than just being her friend. For example, call her up and tell her you were thinking about her and wanted to know if she would like to go to dinner. Grab her hand at some point or brush against her "accidentally". I know these seem like grade-schoolish ways of going about it, but usually if you try to get closer, women will respond one way or another. If she likes you, she will move closer to you...if she doesn't...the opposite will occur. I fell in love with my best friend, but we were both on the same page. Our relationship just progressed from one level to the next naturally. He flirted a lot and made it known that he liked me for my than a friend and I returned those advances. Just don't be offended if she backs off a little. I really believe that some people are afraid of serious relationships until they see how great they can be!

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (9 June 2012):

chigirl agony auntYou need to court her the way every other man/or boy who is interested in her will have to. Just because you THINK you are a fit, doesn't mean you ARE. Keep that in mind. You only know her at a certain level, but people have many levels, and they don't show them all to everyone. So there are still many things you do not know about her, and even you can not know if you are a good match or not.

But, on the surface, perhaps you look like you can be good together, so give it a go. Ask her out. Give her compliments. Woo her.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2012):

Google "the Friend Zone" and "Nice guys finish last" and start learning how women really work. Get this chick off the pedestal in your mind. You will have a better chance of getting her if you do this. And you will be able to escape the situation with more self-respect and dignity even if you can't get her.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2012):

Am be careful OP. Whenever I read or hear of people talking about God in that way I immediately think they're insane and going to go on a murderous rampage. There's a very thin line between hearing God and hearing voices signifying an extreme mental disorder. In other words talking and thinking like that is more than likely going to freak her out even if she is Christian too.

In Ireland we actually think anyone who invokes God's name like that is extremely arrogant and presumptuous.

Get rid of the God's match stuff unless you want scare her off and just approach dating her the normal way by talking to her and asking her out.

Simple as that OP. Talk, ask out.

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A female reader, maverick494 United States +, writes (9 June 2012):

Please don't fall into the 'destined to be together' trap. It's going to strain every effort of getting together and you make it sound like she hasn't got a choice, that even if she's not interested she still should be with you because 'god wants to'. Freedom of choice and mind, remember?

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