A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i have noticed that every time I become depressed and insecure with my girlfriend. She rarely does anything wrong she just fools arround with me . I get really sensitive and serious around her alot. I noticed the more I loved her, the more depressed I got. if I only knew why this happens to me, I'd be able to fix myself about how I am. I hate when I upset her because of my depression.Before anyone says I should just dump her, no. She loves me and I love her a lot. Sometimes, if I try very hard, I can be my normal self around her and enjoy life. But sometimes it becomes too hard, and I just take the easy way out and become depressed.she jokes arround .when i get depressed i sometimes stop taking to her and then she blames her self for it,and say she is sorry but when it not her fault.how to i get over it .plz help me .....
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male
reader, shawncaff  +, writes (2 February 2011):
 There must be an underlying reason, or reasons, for this.I would suggest exploring this with a psychologist. Although I am not a psychologist, based upon my own experiences, I might suggest some possible reasons:--You fear that she will leave you.--Perhaps you are reminded of other relationships which did not work well or which caused you pain.--Your girlfriend makes you think of the future, and all of the uncertainty and fears might come out.--She reminds of the general fragility of love.I do not mean to play pop psychologist, but am just thinking of some things that might come out. I do recommend a professional, though, since it might be goodto address this early in your life.I would ust close by saying that you should nto think yourself strange or odd for feeling this way. I think it is much more common than you think.
A
female
reader, auntieloulou  +, writes (2 February 2011):
 I think you need to go and talk to someone and assess why you get depressed. You are only young, tackle it now until it spirals out of control. See your doctor for a referal. I think your girlfriend should be a little bit more understanding, so try and talk to her about how you feel and ask her to support you. if she doesn't, then I would seriously consider ending the relationship and focusing on yourself. good luck.
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A
female
reader, Lotsalove. +, writes (2 February 2011):
 It definetely sounds like you have some form of undealt issue (maybe not with her) or major insecurity that is holding you back. When you say your girlfriend fools around with you... is she maybe making jokes that are a bit cutting to you, but funny to her? If so, you need to confront her with it. Do you feel that your girlfriend is too good for you? Too pretty for you? Smarter than you? More popular than you? These can all be factors that can cause you to be depressed around her. If not, Maybe YOU have an issue/insecurity that only you can help yourself with, not your girlfriend. Maybe you need to see a counsellor or therapist if this is the case. Other than that, I cant pin point why you would feel this way around her, if she isn't doing anything wrong and you don't feel you have insecurities.
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