A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:i beat up my wife and was arrested she has now gone back to her parents with our 2 childreni am going to seak help tomorrow at the doctors for anger managmentbut how can i win her back as she has asked for a divorce?i love her oh so much and want to keep the family together
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2009): Work on yourself harder than you have ever worked before! It will take time to gain her trust. She may see a change in you, and trust you again. Maybe not! But do it for you! So, this will never happen in another relationship you are in!
I wish my ex would've made an effort to get help! If he had I would've supported him all the way! He never even took responsibility for his actions!
You are at least doing that! And I do believe this is a real post!
People who haven't been in the situation, can't understand it.
Angeldust: I disagree...If I attact a man with a knife...I would expect to be knocked out! I would deserved it! Abuse is wrong no matter which gender it comes from. And everyone has the right to protect themselves! God knows, my ex had plenty of scars inflicted by me, just trying to defend myself!
A
female
reader, veebee +, writes (26 May 2009):
I feel for you. An ex of mine used to beat me up but i stayed with him for 4 years because i was 16 and didn't know any better. ( my mum used to wollope me if i was bad when i was a kid).What you did was wrong, you should never raise your hand to anyone, but maybe this is how you were brought up, so if you were naughty you were reprimanded in this way. Things were different even 15 years ago. Maybe you have issues that you havent come to terms with or even thought of. If you really love her maybe you should let her go, and work on your anger and really think about where it has come from. Did your dad do the disciplinig when you were young? was mum not there for you? whatever it might be it can always be talked through. Try to think about it from your wifes point of view. She loves you, but yet you hit her,even if she really pissed you off. maybe you wont get back together but maybe this is the thing that gets you to the bottom of it all. Think about you and how you can change. the best thing you have done is addit what you have done. well done, and good luck to you.x
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionin response to those of you who doubt the authenticity of this posting i am ashamed to say that it true
i will take note that most of you have said the same thing and leave her alone and not get in contact
i know that i am the most dispicable type of person to have done this and am not worthy to have been in this marrage to such a beautiful person
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male
reader, Beingblack +, writes (25 May 2009):
 Basically, hitting a woman is like cheating on her.
You cannot expect to get away with it. So do not ever do it.
Once you've done it - you can't un-punch her can you?
She should not take you back. I hope she doesn't.
You need to spend the next couple of years trying to get her to trust you, so you can get to see your children.
As for living with her - forget it.
If you really love her, tell her, move out, get an apartment across the other side of the city, and try to build up that trust thing. You might get lucky, she might learn to trust you, and let you see the children without supervision. She might even stay overnight with you after a period of time. But don't pressure her into anything, and get used to living alone.
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A
male
reader, rocknroll  +, writes (25 May 2009):
Getting her back will not come easy and is the least of your problems. First you need to fix yourself, and this will take allot of time. You messed up, now you need to be a man and take the punishment you deserve.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2009): I too am questioning the validity of this posting! I can't believe anyone would be this stupid, as to write in and ask us such a thing. I do think it's a wind up and maybe this poster would like to do a follow-up...challenging us on our opinions here. I'm quite curious as to what he'll say.
However, I do have something to say, in regards to this posting. Even if it seems 'unreal' there could be some other woman beater out there that could read all the below postings and gain something from it, I just have to say:
OP: Something has happened to you, from your own life, that is broken inside you. Anger management..intensive long, long term counseling is required for you and it will be a long process to finding out why on earth, you would cause such a physical trauma and pain on a woman you claim to love. The behavior you inflicted on her is something that none of us would ever tolerate at the hands of a stranger. Yet you were her husband, her partner, her lover. Gosh, how this must have devastated her. She looked to you for support, protection and safety. And you do this. She has made her choice. The only way to she can save herself and have a decent life, is to walk away from her abusers. Leave her alone and go fix yourself. You need to bear the consequences of your actions. Go get some much needed help.
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male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (25 May 2009):
 I really hope this is a fake post, but if it isn't I really hope she has the strength to NEVER see you again and keep your kids away from you!
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female
reader, pebble +, writes (25 May 2009):
 Thank God there is a woman out there who DOESN'T stick around in an abusive relationship bleating "why is he doing this to me?", a woman who actually takes the children and leaves to safety.
You'll probably never get her back, and saying 'I'll get anger management tomorrow' is not going to do much until she actually sees a significant change in you. Maybe then she'll consider letting you near the children again.
You have a lot of work to do buddy and getting her back should not be the first thing on your mind - it should be getting yourself help for your anger problem and CHANGING. Only then should you even consider entering another relationship with your wife or any other. Get your priorities straight my friend, because your family depends on it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2009): You may very well never get her back. There are certain things in life that we NEED to learn a lesson from, and your wife taking you back after that is not appropriate and will not teach you anything. if it were me in her place, i would recognize that and either never be with you again, or make you wait a very, very long time. Prehaps when there were no more children living at home.
If she came on here and asked us if she should, we would all say "Hell No."
You can't get everything you want.. You can't always have the cake and eat it too.. you can't always beat your wife and have her too.
You should get all better and develop a very clean history and start yourself over before you go and ask her. She will not take you seriously right now.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2009): My wife told me very early on in our relationship that if I *ever* hit her, that would be the end. And I would hope that my daughters have the same attitude.
There are no absolutes in the world, so I won't say that there could never be justification for physical violence in a relationship. Was this the first time you'd hit her? Did she hit you first? Did she do something outrageous to provoke you? You don't address any of that.
Unless there's some incredible extenuating circumstance, I'd be on her side -- that she should divorce you and never be in the same room alone with you again. "Unforgivable" is a word that comes to mind.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2009): the answer you get from her, i hope will be not just "no", but "HELL NO!". dude, you BEAT on your wife. and you "love her oh so much"? that's ridiculous. you don't deserve her; even if you do get anger management, what you did was unforgivable and you don't deserve her.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2009): Dude.
I think you will get her back, because oddly enough women tend to go back to their beaters. I've seen it many times.. Some sorta psychological thing, I'm sure Dr. Phil or Freud could explain it.
But you seriously have to reevaluate everything if you find yourself hitting a woman. Are they the only thing you can assert your physical dominance over? Weakling.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2009): You NEVER touch a woman dumbass!!!! I have absolutely no words for men that beat up their women no matter what the excuse is !!!!
If you touch her once, you will touch her again and again and again. I know so many men that had a anger management issues, went to a DR were good for a while and the first lil thing their woman said or did .. they beat her up again ...
You need to be beaten up so you know how it feels ... she beeter not come back .. but she will if she wants to get some more again ...
Women are so stupid aat times
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2009): You can't win her back, if she's smart she'll never go back to you. There's nothing that will erase what you did... going to therapy will not make up for your "mistake." If you're lucky you might get to see your kids once a week... but to be honest, my father beat my mother black and blue and it was court ordered that my father got to see my sister and I once a week and we never went to see that sick SOB. I still don't talk to him and he hasn't even met his 2 year old grand son. It was your mistake and you have to pay the consiquences. Anger managment is a bunch of bull by the way.
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