A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone I wanna ask what is up with my girlfriend and what you think is going onOk so I started dating a girl over long distance two months ago and she said she would come and see me no matter what well her parents said no twice and that maybe she could come this month, well now when I ask her about it she said she was really stressing over it recently and that she dident wanna talk about it well we have had our fair share of arguments some of them would ruin some relationships but we have worked through them we both agree that we are perfect for each other she is what I've been looking for in a woman and vice verca well now I see that she posted about descisions on face book and I asked her about it and she said she diddent wanna talk about it and that it was over petty stuff I asked her if it was me and she asks me to stop please well agreed and told her I love her and she said she knows and I asked her if there was something wrong and she said she diden know, I should say now that I have trust issues and inferiority complex. Please help me idk what to do and I don't wanna lose her
View related questions:
insecure, long distance Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUpdate it turns out that she was really seriously depressed and we talked about it and she is fine now
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (4 September 2012):
 It seems she has issues she's dealing with. It may or may not be related to another guy, but it does deal with your relationship. It may be that she's saying "she doesn't know" because she's trying not to hurt you while sorting out her feelings. Who knows... what is evident is that there is something bothering her. It does pertain to you two. And she isn't including you in sorting it out.
Truthfully, you didn't provide enough information to speculate as to what may be wrong. One thing is for sure... girls are confusing. The more we try to figure them out, the more we know that we don't know about them. This may or may not be a big deal, but never the less, it needs discussed because it's affecting you, and probably your relationship with her.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe talked on skype for a while but I lost the use of a webcam I can understand her parents not wanting her to come, but before we started dating her parents let her go and see someone who lived a two hour drive away without having met the person first It took a few days for them to say yes but it must have been just as dangerous in the minds of her parents why would they let her see him and not come and see me? I would go up there my self but it's a 3 hour drive to the bus station and I have no way there or no way to get a ticket
...............................
A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (4 September 2012):
 Well, look here: have you ever met this girl in person? If not, have you at least "visited" on Skype??
See, until and unless you DO meet face to face any "relationship" is basically mostly something that exists only in your own mind(s). It really isn't possible to get to know one another by posting on Facebook, texting or talking on the phone, you know.
Long distance is never easy. To build a relationship takes TIME and being able to meet and go out together numerous times over a period of months so that you experience being together not only when things are going well, and you're enjoying spending time with one another, but ALSO - and this is important - when one or the other of you is having a bad day and feeling upset, angry or disappointed. Not necessarily about YOU, mind, The point is, you need to get to know how you both handle the normal frustrations and things going wrong in the usual run-of-the-mill situations.
You could put it this way: how does "she" or "you" act when life doesn't go smoothly? Do "you", "she" get angry and seek to take it out on other people? Blame each other? Pout? When two people are dating there is bound to be occasions when you have a conflict or disagreement and it's important to determine whether "you" or "her" can handle it in a mature fashion; discussing it calmly without accusations or finger-pointing and excuses. This is essential in building mutual trust.
Dating, by its very nature is a way of "trying out" a friendship, to see how well you get on together; how compatible (or not) you both are. It's very difficult to do all this long-distance.
Your friend's parents twice nixed the idea of her visiting you. They don't know you, and are only looking out for their daughter's welfare - as good parents should.
The fact that she refuses to discuss it with you means that she has some doubts and/or hesitation concerning the friendship. If so, you have to respect that and not attempt to pressure her into doing something she might be reluctant to get into.
Let me ask you: would it be possible for you to travel to where she lives? Meet her parents as well as seeing her?
It may be hard, but you need to try to relax and not fret about maybe losing her. See how things work out.
...............................
|
