A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am married but in love with colleague in office who now got married as per her parents wishes. I am not able to bear the pain of her marriage and its hurting a lot and unable to concentrate on work and my family. We continue to see and work with each other daily. I would like to know from dear friends here a practical solution on how do I overcome with this situation?Thanks for reading and your help...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2011): A practical way to overcome this:step 1. Get divorced from your wife. Clearly you already have one foot out the door of your marriage now so it's not fair to your wife to stay married to her and hurting her like this.step 2. Your girlfriend should get divorced from her husband.step 3. you and your girlfriend can be together cleanly.I know lots of people will tell you to give up the other girl and concentrate on your marriage. I think this is short-sighted and leads to more problems rather than solving them. If you're not in love with your wife - otherwise how can you be in love with someone else - you can't force yourself to be in love with someone you're not. it's pretty awful to stay married to someone while not loving them and have this situation drag on for years and years, so I think it's best to end the marriage the minute you realize you don't love your spouse enough to want them, so you can both have the chance to start over and you can find someone you do want to be with, and your wife can find someone who will want to be with her and will treasure her and cherish her the way you're not.
A
female
reader, Freyja  +, writes (9 December 2011):
Agreed with Mariab - you need to move on from this! Think of your wife, and think of their new marriage; this can only end badly.
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A
female
reader, Mariab +, writes (9 December 2011):
 Its simple really... you have to fall OUT of love with her! As ridiculous as that sounds... you must do your best to get over her...avoid her...talk to her only when you need to and be professional. You are both married and its not going to happen so let it go! Else many pple will get hurt. Not only that but if she doesn't feel the same towards you then you will have an awkward work environment.
Good luck xx
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