A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:What do you do if you are not pretty? I feel so insecure about myself. Its not my body, in fact I think my body is amazing I am blessed in term of genetics but my face is so...plain. ITs not ugly or weird its just boring and shapeless. ITs more of a big deal now because my now bf used to date this GORGEOUS, fine boned, delicate blonde- with a lovely straight nose. I am not white so I have big lips, dark eyes and a squashed nose and I don't feel like I am attractive enough or have the right delicate features. I'm thinking of leaving my partner for this and dating someone who only dates women of colour and not pretty white people but he is a nice guy, and hasn't said anything about my lame features so what should I do?
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male
reader, Problem.helper  +, writes (1 February 2011):
 I am sorry but this is one of the stupidest reasons why to break up :) .
If he still had feeling for his ex than maybe, but he cares about you and this is all in your head. He likes you for who you are and since he is still with you he obliviously likes you looks too.
Try talk to him about how you feel and you might found out how he feels.
A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (1 February 2011):
 Your relationship with him, the way you treat each other, how well you get on... is SO much more important than the fact that he dated a pretty blond. You find a guy who hasn't, but chances are, he's seen one he wanted to date. If you can find a good relationship, my advise is that you don't hack it over something so superficial. I would absolutely do anything to be with someone who could treat me well. I don't care if he dated Pamela Anderson.
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A
female
reader, happyface  +, writes (1 February 2011):
 You're JUST insecure, and you know that right?! what should you do?hmmm,listen, never ever let insecurity overcome you, it's just in your mind, i guess your boyfriend doesn't even think about that..you're boyfriend loves you right?if he loves you, then it follows that he accepts you for everything you are..you know it's not always the physical aspect that counts when you say you love somebody..love is more on acceptance, and never ever compare yourself to somebody, remember this, one writer said "Comparing yourself to somebody is like comparing an orange to an apple"..get it.?,you're different, and so is your boyfriend's ex, there are things that you don't have which the other girl has, and there are also things which you have that the other girl doesn't have..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2011): funny you ask that question...because i actually went on a facebook looking for my bf's ex i know i know how immature... he was with her for a long long time ..his sister witch is my bestfriend told me she treated him like shit at the end..and that she was a lot thicker then me. i asked him what she looked like he didnt understand why i wanted to know..most man never get it.. he said she was blond very pretty in the face..thick with big boobs...but i know she got a lot bigger at the end. to me weight has nothing to do with how pretty the girl is..i was a havy girl growing up. anywayz i found her on facebook...and let me tell you her face is beautiful! she maybe chubby but very pretty. me and her are complete opposites tho.. im a brunette , slimer but she def got big boobs.. as soon as i seen her pic i actually questioned myself like omg is his ex prettier then me!?? he told me in the begining of our relationship that im a lot "hotter"then i think i am.. i look in the mirror and i see all my imperfections...but i honestly believe i got something dif about my look..well thats what i been told. its not hard for me to find man that find me attractive but it still got me wondering why?...
my advise is talk to him...
i asked my bf he said your everything she wasn't and that's why i love you...that enough for me :)
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (1 February 2011):
He loves you, you know. He's not in love with some 'image'. Stay with the man.
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A
female
reader, dollface1  +, writes (1 February 2011):
 Hi there Listen I always compare myself to his ex's and now I have stopped and thought, she's not me and i'm not her, im a different person and his with me now and I love him so I'm not gonna let this ruin our relationship, there are different qualities in me that his attracted to, she might be hotter , drive a better car and have more money. but i know I have a better personality. we have more in common and I mean If they were ment to be they still would be together. stop looking at it like that love yourself! she's probably with some other guy not giving your relationship or him a second thought!BE HAPPY WITH YOURSELF! and I mean if he was a girl you think is pretty, you must be just as pretty, you might not see it because you so used to the way you look. he might be thinking geez she's gorgeous. don't dwell on the past and thinking of breaking up with him over your own insecurities, work on them i mean if you uncomfortable start thinking of ways to better it like me I go to the gym, hairdresser and get a sexy outfit that knocks his socks off! we create awesome memories together he loves fishing so I go fishing and do everything on my own, which his exes never used to do and he says its the most fun his ever had I mean his been with FHM MODELS BEFORE but they were stupid, never listened to rap music like me which he loves and never could do what i could! plus im unique I have tattoos which he adores and i love cage fighting like him.so be strong girl and love yourself, you are stopping yourself from being super amaizing you have special qualities he loves we all have unique talents le them shine!
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (1 February 2011):
And who on GOD's world told you that you are not pretty enough for a man???
Do you really think the way you look on the outside is what makes a man stay with you?? You could be the most beautiful woman in the world, but if you're ugly on the inside, no man will stay with you.
When bee goes to a beautiful flower, does care what the flower looks like? Or does it care more about what flower has inside to offer??
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2011): Your boyfriend is with you because he like YOU! So forget this 'not being pretty' stuff. You say you have a good figure and your opinion of your face may just be your insecurities. Personality is much more important than looks anyway. Don't let your lack of confidence spoil a relationship.
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A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (1 February 2011):
You are giving more value to your perception about her ex's beauty than what your boyfriend thinks about you. In the end, he's dating you and not her.
Shouldn't you talk about this with him?
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A
female
reader, ShamikaT18 +, writes (1 February 2011):
 This is interesting that you said this because I have felt this way a long time with my bf and am trying to get over it. I've seen pictures of both his exes and it made me feel lower then an ant. He's white and I'm black but his previous exes were mexican and asian. I know he loves me so much and tells me I'm beautiful all the time. And even when I bring up my looks comparing it to them, he'll get mad at me because he knows I'm beautiful the way I am. Hearing him say this makes me feel better about the situation, although I am working on my low self esteem too. To sum it up I think you should give your boyfriend the benefit of the doubt because he's with you because he obviously likes you AND the way you look. That's the only thing that matters, not what the past girlfriend looks like because she's gone and out of the picture and it's just about you two now.
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