A
male
age
36-40,
*liderz1986
writes:Is this relationship going anywhere?I have been in a relationship that has been full of highs and lows which lasted about a year. It was my first gay relationship. Both of us had been with women before. We discovered this together. I have loved him so very much and the reason we fight is because we care so much about each other. Sounds silly but is true.It recently came to a close at Christmas which was very upsetting. We are still very intimate at times. I suggested trying again on the weekend just gone and he seemed keen. He then went off to London to meet some friends for the weekend.He comforted me as I am going through a very difficult time at the moment with my mother's severe depression. When I asked how his weekend had been he told me he shared a kiss with someone else. A friend I was already worried about...I felt used, betrayed and hurt and he only allowed me to talk to him via text which upset me more. I did appreciate his honesty but wanted to know why he did it and felt that he should at least explain his reasoning behind it.... I felt like I had been strung along. We had a massive fall out via text because he isn't able to call me. He simply refuses because he knows I'm upset. Do you think he is a coward? With the stress of my mum at home I thought he wouldn't be so insensitive to not be there for me and at least talk to me on the phone about it so we could just move on. He has been very jealous of various people I am friends with in the past and I have always comforted him about them. Why can't he do the same?He says he wants to support me but it's only on his terms and when it suits him. I told him I couldn't do this anymore and I am fed up with him not listening to me.My last message is to the point and honest but he hasn't replied. Should I continue down this road or move on? I feel helpless and I am at home dealing with a lot of problems. I know he is out there and going to meet this guy he kissed again today. He tells me there isn't anything going on but I don't kiss my friends!He seems more interesting in his own social life rather than helping me.Should I give up?
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christmas, jealous, move on, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2011): Give up sweetie. The second you do he will either run back to you, or allow you to find someone more to you needs.
A
male
reader, sliderz1986 +, writes (1 February 2011):
sliderz1986 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey guys,Thanks so much for taking the time to respond. I am finding it so hard because of the close connection we used to share.You are all right! I think I have been so vulnerable because of my mums issues that I have been wrapped up with this relationship again.He made me believe we still had a chance, then he kissed some guy he knew I was already paranoid about! Who does that especially when he knows how hard my life is at the moment.Trouble is I would see myself as a bisexual guy but I have no idea on how to meet people who feel the same as me... I don't feel comfortable meeting people in gay bars... any ideas?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2011): It seems you are putting more into this relationship than him. Is this imbalance what is causing your problems - it seems so. If he can not give you the amount of love and comfort you need maybe, ongoing, he is not for you no matter how much you would like things to be different.
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A
female
reader, Harj Kaur +, writes (1 February 2011):
What is more important to you?? Why should you waste your time?? If you was anything to him he would have not done this. Put your head up sort things out at home first then move on. Life is to short and i believe what ever happens its for a reason. he did not deserve you. Sounds like your a honest person trust me when the time is right you will be with the right person. Harj x
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A
female
reader, dollface1  +, writes (1 February 2011):
 Hi firstly he kissed someone else, he betrayed you and i'm sorry.secondly he can't even comfort you during a difficult time, it's affecting you deeply and if he truelly cared and stopped thinking only of himself and his needs he would be there by your side giving you advice making you feel like things are ok. you must be his number one priority, you suppose to share more than just a sexual connection, but a soul connection and emotional connection.when someone loves someone truelly they feel that persons pain and emotions and go through what the other person goes through.you can't deal with your mothers depression and his wondering eye, I mean thats to much.give him an ultimatium tell him either you here for me now or its over, obviously if he cares about you enough he won't let you go!when a person gets married, you there for the person through sickness and health, these days you are connected more intensely with a person without being married so it counts out of marriage as well.Think about it do you really wanna be with someone who is inconsiderate and when you going through stuff, goes and kisses someone else or does whatever else, who knows what his sharing with that person, that doubt will always be in your mind and then you will fight all the time.ask yourself do you need all that stress, obviously not! don't let it get so far you might become depressed yourself, don't go the route please!remember you only have one mother and right now she needs you and if something happens to her, how will you live with yourself. just think there's alot of hot guys out there who would stick with you and support you through this, you don't need to take his crap.good luck , hope you find some comfort in this message
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