A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:HI,need some sensible advice on a serious matter. I'm 29 years old married with a son, problem is over the last year or so i have found myself not having the loving feeling that i should have for my husband, i feel like i've really drifted apart from him, and what upsets me even further is that none of this is his fault, he's a great man and a great dad, he would do just about anything for me, but i'm not in love with him anymore. I don't know what to do because i don't want to hurt him, he would be distraught, however i'm very unhappy and feel very trapped. If i did decide to leave him i wouldn't know what or how to tell him. I don't want to hurt my son either, he loves his dad and i love the way they are with each other. Do u think this is one of those situations that i should stick with for my son's sake and husband's, or what could i do. i do know something though, i've never been so unhappy, please help xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2010): I dont know, I feel the same exact way. I have been married for a year and about 4 months. For the first 4 months of our marriage, all we did was fight, fight and fight pretty much about every single thing. After a while we started working things out and i fell totally in love with him. Now, i just feel like i am unattracted to him. I always feel depressed and stressed out because i dont know what to do. I am only 20 years old and sometimes i regret ever getting married to him. He could be nice to me a times, but then her could really hurt me in many ways if he wanted and im sick of it. your reason to be unhappy is no reason. if your husband is really nice, loving, and caring then that is no excuse for unhapiness with your marriage life. You also have a great child. who in the world would want to give up their husband and child. if the reason is because you want to feel young again, then hang out with your friends more and do things that you would do if you were young. life us not always partying and having fun, so dont go overboard or too far. just try to have fun and be a great wife and mother.Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2009): Well, I hear these circumstances more often now. Seems falling out of love is normal now. But the truth is, it is common not normal. Men are taught to provide, protect, and profess for his other half at all costs. You have a family, which is a blessing by it self. Don't let society fool you, happiness is not just on the other side. Temptation is ugly and can fool you, in turn you can make certain decisions that will come with big consequences.
What mean is that, now a days it's easier to give up and walk away from the person you have claimed to love, and devoted time too. The hard thing is to fight, and stick it out, and try to make your marriage triumph. Seems now, that couples, men and women only want to be there on the good times, not the bad times.Weather you are married or not a comitment is all that and more, for better or worse, right.
You fell in love with your man, but now what. I know how this feels, it has been done to me, and it is devastating. I have a 12 year old and a 6 year old. So yes your child will be hurt beyond what you can ever imagine. Imagine how your husdand would feel. Happiness is not just about love. That is a feeling, which in time fades to a point. It can not always be a honeymoon phase all the time, especially with kids.
Now, you feel you are very unhappy, right. Well I have learned so much about women since my tragedy, to understand more. Look you gave birth to a child, and it affected you some way some how. Not right there in then, but with time. Also, you may be going through some imbalace in your body system. You may have built up stress, and never talked about it and kept it inside.
Work it out, that is the healthy thing to do. In the other hand , you really did'nt give much info. Like how long you two have been together or more help full input. But above all, hope you find what you are looking for. God bless.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2009): Dear ladies,
Can you let us know what happened?
I'm in the same situation and not know what to do?
And yes I did fall in love with him and I got married, but fact is I am not happy with him anymore and don't feel atracted to him.. It's been more than a year now and I feel my life is going by without me taking part in it. I don't think I can just decide I will be happy with him and it will all get fine. I believe in a relationship both parties should be happy and only one..
Let me know how you are getting on.
Lots of love
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2008): I think everyone feels this way at one point during their marriage. But don't give up everything that you've worked for. You married him for a reason. I suggest seeing a marriage counselor with him for at least a year before you make such a huge decision.
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A
female
reader, me808  +, writes (12 September 2008):
hey.... so I'm in the same situation and it sucks.... I love my husband and respect him so much... he is a great dad , he works his butt off, he loves completly. But even so, I have this nagging feeling inside that's making me feel pretty hollow... and I have a wondering eye(its never done further) maybe its the fact that we don't have the most ideal situatuon, and have had to deal with some major stresses... who knoes, we've been together for 9 years, since he was nineteen and I was twenty... anyway, I feel your confusion, but my husband knoes how I feel, and I can see how sad it makes him, and in turn me. if you have any suggestions let me know
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A
male
reader, leonard j.Douglas  +, writes (13 June 2007):
Dear Soooo Unhappy. We don't fall in or out of Love, we fall in or out of our marital commitments to one another. And within this marital commitment is where our love for each other should grows and deepen. Sad to say, Most of us go into our relationships purely on a sexual bases,and we call this,"Sexual Lust",Love. So what I am saying is just this, You, or both of you, are equating sex as love, when it is a very small part of any or all relationships. Neither of you have Bonded in your togetherness. And if you do not take the time to do that, sex alone won't be enough to hold your relationship together. PS, You can tell me, "You are Soooo Unhappy", bet you can't tell your husband how you feel. Think of this, "The Family That Talks Together Walks Together".
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A
male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (13 June 2007):
 What makes you so sure that your unhappiness can be attributed solely to your marriage? You give us very little information about what makes you so unhappy - feeling trapped is a symptom, not a cause.
Your inability to express your dissatisfaction to your husband indicates that you have some serious problems with your communication skills. Again, we can be more helpful if you can supplement "I feel trapped" with more details about the circumstances that make you feel trapped.
Think of your son. He has no say in this matter and will suffer greatly if you decide to torpedo this marriage. You owe it to your son to make an effort to work your issues out with your husband at your side. Good luck and take care.
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A
female
reader, Augustflower81  +, writes (13 June 2007):
 before you do anything with your husband, find out why are you so unhappy? what is it making you so unhappy. List down the reasons. Is it your husband making you unhappy or other people/things? Once you know the root of your unhappiness, you can make kind of clear decisions. I hope it helps
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A
female
reader, goodlistener +, writes (8 June 2007):
There sounds like a number of choices here you have got. #You can just be truthful with him and call it a day. This doesn't mean your son isn't going to see him anymore, a lot of parents are apart. AND HAPPY.
#You can get in touch with a marrige conseller, sometimes all it takes is a chat, just sit your husband down and explain you don't feel as close, and you would like both of you to speak to someone.
#Have you considered having depression? i know people exclude this straight away but it might be a possibility.
#Or you can stay stuck in your rut. But it is not good for anyone, not you, your husband or your son. Even though it is not in everyones face, children have good sences. Also if you do stick with your husband and you're not happy, you could be doing worse for yourself, you could end up with very bad depression or even become addicted to alcohol just to ease the pain.
I know this does sound crazy, but look at your future. My sister is in the same situation as you, but has been unhappy for about 10 years. She has stuck with him, she is now a drinker and she has harmed herself quite a few times.
I hope this message has helped you in anyway.
Good luck hony x.
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A
female
reader, joemtzel +, writes (8 June 2007):
 hi..i suggest that you & your husband should take a time.out from your work & be together just like youre having your honeymoon again..its unfair for your husband if he did his part in your marriage but there you are..falling out of love..but i dont believed it..its a matter of giving time to one another that you both are missing..spend time together..have a vacation just the two of you then tell him that in somewhat situation you felt that way but try asking him what would the best way to put sparks in your relationship again...just give it a try..experiment again..make love & enjoy every minute inside a hotel room...no going out for a day..ok? godbless..
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A
female
reader, joemtzel +, writes (8 June 2007):
hi..i suggest that you & your husband should take a time.out from your work & be together just like youre having your honeymoon again..its unfair for your husband if he did his part in your marriage but there you are..falling out of love..but i dont believed it..its a matter of giving time to one another that you both are missing..spend time together..have a vacation just the two of you then tell him that in somewhat situation you felt that way but try asking him what would the best way to put sparks in your relationship again...just give it a try..experiment again..make love & enjoy every minute inside a hotel room...no going out for a day..ok? godbless..
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2007): You fell in love with him once . . . .did you not?? You also made a PROMISE to him "for better or worse" . . . DID YOU NOT??
How about telling us why you don't love him anymore? IF he is good to you and treats you well, then why the change of heart! Relationships and or Marrigages require work by both parties if the realtionship is going to be sucessful. WHY have you given up???
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