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I am so lost it's unreal. IDK what my current bf will think. Should I just tell him?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Faded love, Family, Long distance, Teenage, The ex-factor, Three is a crowd, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 August 2011) 9 Answers - (Newest, 4 August 2011)
A female United States age 30-35, *arleygirl2010 writes:

OK guys i have a problem. So I am currently in a wonderful relationship with a wonderful soldier man. I love him dearly and feel safe with him. He caught me and held me after my ex dumped me and was with me through all the crap my ex pulled after wards

My ex has recently started messaging me asking if we could stay friends and even sent a friend request with it on facebook.

I messaged his mothers phone today to see if some of my stuff was still there and it was. Well it was he who answered her phone instead of her. In all the messages on facebook and texts he has basically said that he still misses me, whishes he hadn't left me, and wants to stay friends.

My family has been of no help.

What do i do??????

I am so lost it's unreal. IDK what my current bf will think. I should just tell him. He's helped me with what to do is best in other things.

AFTER what all has happened with one of his exs bugging us and trying to split us. What would be the best move on my part? What would be the best thing to say?

Any help will be greatly appreciated especially from the male point of view. Thank you all in advanced.

View related questions: facebook, his ex, move on, my ex, text

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A female reader, harleygirl2010 United States +, writes (4 August 2011):

harleygirl2010 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

harleygirl2010 agony auntThank you guys. I have blocked him and i haven't replied to him on anything. I would love to keep in contact with his parents but i feel now that that may be a bad idea on my part and make things worse. Maybe even make him think that he may have the ok to message me. So I hope not messaging back and ignoring him will get him to leave me alone again. Your advice makes sense and has been helpful

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A male reader, eek United Kingdom +, writes (2 August 2011):

eek agony auntyou dont even have to tell him anything cut him off completely and keep it that way.

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A female reader, Moo's Mum New Zealand +, writes (2 August 2011):

Moo's Mum agony auntYou don't owe this guy any niceties or politeness. Tell him straight up that you want nothing to do with him and that if he doesn't leave you alone you will file a harrassment claim against him. Block him from your cell phone and any other technical forms of contaact like Facebook.

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A female reader, harleygirl2010 United States +, writes (1 August 2011):

harleygirl2010 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

harleygirl2010 agony auntI have never thought of getting back with my ex. My current bf has been amazing to me and has made me so happy. He knows of everything between me and my ex and even came to sit with me the day after my ex showed up at my bedroom window at 11 p.m. so that i wouldn't flip out or to protect me if he pulled it again.

Idk how to tell my ex to leave me alone and all. He has left me and my bf alone for 3 months now and is just now trying to message me again. IDK how to tell him off. He even tried to guilt trip me into dating him again, well actually my uncle called the message a "pity booty call".

I told my current bf about the message on facebook and he was up in arms ready to beat him for the message. How do I tell my ex to leave us alone without coming across as rude or snobbish?

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A male reader, dominic pusel Nigeria +, writes (1 August 2011):

dominic pusel agony auntlet your ex keep saying all be wants, why did he dump you if he did realy love you?, so he thinks he can just come from the forest and snatch you from the one who picked you from shambles, i hope you are not considering reunion with him

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2011):

I'm a guy and I say stay away from you ex at all costs, he had a chance and he messed up, no hold on...he dumped you! You were a wreck until you met this guy, why are you trying to spoil that.

Give your current boyfriend a chance.

Maybe you should tell him what's going on, let him know. If he knows something like this he can help you to stay away from your ex more. It's like telling your mom you broke her favorite vase, you still got grounded but you feel a whole lot better for telling rather than hiding it.

Let you ex know exactly how you felt when he left you in the cold, I mean, what exactly would stop him from just dumping you again, and this time I doubt your solider friend will be around to comfort you again.

Hope this helps! Good luck!

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A female reader, Moo's Mum New Zealand +, writes (1 August 2011):

Moo's Mum agony auntTell the ex to bugger off. He had his chance and he blew it. You are way better off with your new BF so don't even give your ex a second thought.

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A male reader, eek United Kingdom +, writes (1 August 2011):

eek agony auntif you love the man your with cut communication with your ex. Especially as the ex caused problems in the past. The guy is your ex for a reason remember that and let him go.

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A female reader, Trinklett Canada +, writes (1 August 2011):

Trinklett agony auntI'm no male, but if you can write yourself that your ex put you through a lot of crap then watcH out because he'll probably do it again. Telling your soldier friend, will make him feel bad especially if he detects you still want to be with your ex after everything. I agree getting over an ex is never an easy task but if you have something worthwhile with your current bf, (unless other issues are bugging you) I'll stay with him. And if you do want to get over your ex stop sending him messages. I wouldn't accept the friend request either if you see him around say hello but I"ll leave it at that

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