A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hey so it's not really relationship but please I need you guys:I'm in my third year of senior school and I am an A* student. I have a passion for art; I work hard in class and I'm on the top 21 list of students in my year and the Gifted and Talented List. I'm a nerd. That's the problem. As I become older I notice there's a hierarchy within my year group. And nerds come pretty low. Half my year doesn't know my name and I am intimidated by people of my own year. Why are they so horrible? I don't even know this one guy and today he was laughing at me and calling me "fit" in a disgusting sarcastic way (because obviously I'm not as I don't slap on tones of make-up like the popular girls). In my friendship group (lol we are like the intelligent ones that aren't well-known at all but don't care) I am known as the sarcastic, arty, funny one. I have a laugh and I try to be a genuinely nice person. Sometimes to the point where I end up getting stuck with the people nobody likes!! I'm also known to be pretty damn scary when people piss me off. So when this guy starts being a **** I just hold my head high and walk on by, thinking to myself how silly he is.....but beneath all that it hurts. A lot. I have self-esteem problems as it is. I know I'm ugly. I don't need people like him to remind me, mock me and laugh at me. They hang out in groups and laugh at you and take the Mick......why are they like this? Was it like this for you? What can I do? I just don't....fit in. :( Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2012): Asker: thank you so much to each and every one of you! :'-) when I get down I look at this and you all make me smile. There is much more to life than those twerps and I will continue to hold my head high and focus on doing well in school and being with my friends. They aren't worth it and I am so glad I'm not alone. Thank you so much - you don't know how much your beautiful comments mean to me, seriously. xxxxxxx God Bless each and every one of you
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2012): Who want's to fit in!!!!pretty boring.
spunky monkey
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2012): I know you're hearing this already, but as a former high school female nerd to the millionth degree, I'm telling you it gets way better. For starters when you get out of high school - and I know that seems like eons from now, but it'll come faster than you know - you'll be free to pursue your passions and you'll meet like minded people. I'm a classical musician and was teased and tormented for that and being bookish and, as people got more mature, I was ignored and isolated, because I just didn't have anything in common with my fellow students. BUT when I got to college, I found an entire group of people who were just like me - same interests, same experiences, actually got my sarcastic, dry jokes, which landed me in so much trouble earlier, because people thought I was serious and subsequently probably deranged.
I know it hurts when people make fun, but they are largely doing it, because they are supremely insecure and unhappy too and it makes them feel better to point out others' flaws. Ignore it the best you can. I recently went to my 10 year reunion and a girl actually said to me, "Remember how I used to call you names? God I was a jerk." People pick on people they don't know how to interact with too. It sounds like you are poised, smart and have different interests. How can they - thinking they themselves suck by comparison - talk to you without bringing you down to their level?
As for the "ugly" bit - Obviously I can't see you, but I suspect you are much better looking than you think. For starters, it's an awful age. Every one is growing and learning how to deal with it. You'll grow into yourself too. I thought I was ugly when I was your age too. I had zits and warts, I was flat chested, my eyes weren't symmetrical, I had "chicken legs" - I could go on forever with the flaws I saw - and that's all still there except the zits and warts, but strangers tell me I'm beautiful. It'll all get better with time.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (9 March 2012):
 Welcome to the nerd's club. That is what nerd life is like. Wait, because your time will come. Someone whose name I will reveal at the end of my post said that "you have to be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one". That nerd was Bill Gates.
There are some cool female nerds out there.
As to fitting in, yeah, not fitting sucks, but as you grow older you care less and less about it. Remember Einstein with his hair? Do you think the guy gave a damn what people thought? You'd say that the answer has to be an "elementary" no.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (8 March 2012):
 I doubt you are ugly… I can tell you that I’m a geek girl… I love sci-fi and I am a computer geek by profession… us geek girls don’t even begin to come into our own till our late 20s… I’m 52 now and life got GREAT at 40 something. I know you don’t’ want to wait that long but trust me it’s going to get better.
Folks that make fun of you do so because they are as insecure as you are but they turn it outwards instead of inwards.
You have social circle… you have friends… you fit in with them… you just don’t fit in with the folks you want to fit in with… you don’t feel popular and we all want to feel popular… I’m betting I would like you right now. And I’m betting that if you are 13 by 15 it will be much better and if you are 15 you are 3 years away from near sheer heaven…
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A
male
reader, topher747 +, writes (8 March 2012):
 it was just like that for me, (although im not clever) but it gets better, just ignore other people and talk to your friends and do what you want to do. i never wanted to fit in with the "popular" people cause i think most of them are shallow and harsh to people just to look cool in front of there firends. i thinks its much better to have a few really good friends than lots of people you pretend to like.
just be who you want to do,
toph
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A
male
reader, Uncle PJ  +, writes (8 March 2012):
 Right first of all, you are not ugly. If you think this about yourself then what chance have you got of anyone else thinking highly of you. Once you think better and are more confident within yourself and are proud to be who you are, people will start caring less.
As for fitting in, I wouldn't worry too much about it. You have your own group of friends and that should be enough. You can't be liked by everyone and you shouldn't want this.
Being intelligent is a gift. Not many people have it and it will serve you well in the future if you continue on the same path. The people that laugh at you do it because they've nothing better to do in their lives. They are going to do nothing with their lives and they mock the people who do.
In the future, you will be able to hold your head up high when you're collecting all your GCSEs and the people that mocked you will be dealing with teenage pregnancies and realising that they should have done better at school.
School life is tough but as long as you stay positive within yourself then you will be fine. After school, discrimination due to intelligence etc becomes minimal as people tend to grow up.
Stay strong and don't change who you are. You are a great individual and don't let anyone else tell you differently. Remain yourself and I wish you all the luck with your academic studies. You are destined to do well, don't let some 'cool' person get you down with childish comments. Keep your head held high as you are the better person.
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