A
male
age
30-35,
*aanoo
writes:Hello,I've been with this girl for 2 years now, for the first year and a half I was unloving and ignoring her most of the time. I was going out with her for a few times and telling her how much I love her and once I return home I would call her and tell her that I don't love her and break-up with her and after a while I make up with her and re-do the whole thing.Sometimes I would ignore her calls and don't call her for a week, even so she still loved me and continued to ask about me and care about me for the whole time.Recently I came to my senses and realized that I do love her and we've been really great with each other and she forgave me for the things that I've done to her in the past and we've been planning to getting engaged, until a month ago I accidentally discovered that she is talking to another guy.I did confront her and she was saying that nothing happened between them and that the guy is trying to ruin our relationship until I proved to her that she was talking with him and then she finally said everything.She was talking with him on MSN and BlackBerry and on the phone and sending pictures of her and webcam and went out with him one time to a restaurant, I even had one chat that they were discussing going out and kissing each other and that stuff, that was like 2 months ago but it did not happen.She said that she did all this because she knows this guy as he is a family friend and that he knows a lot of things about her family and that she did all this to make him say the secrets about the members of her family.She said that she didn't love him and she was considering him as a friend nothing more, and even she spoke with my mother and aunt and explained her fault and that she is really sorry and she would like to make things up and do whatever thing that's better for me.She is always telling me that I wanted to tell you about him but she was afraid I won't accept it, and that she is really sorry and that it won't happen again.I am seriously in trouble and don't know what's best to do? I need your advice.Thank you.
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male
reader, maanoo +, writes (12 February 2011):
maanoo is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice, god bless you all.
A
female
reader, TexasTexas  +, writes (12 February 2011):
There is nothing to add to the advice that LoveWisely gave you. It is spot-on.
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A
male
reader, Love-Wisely +, writes (12 February 2011):
 Everything you were honest about in this posting is a factor.
You basically handled your relationship with her on an immature level for a long time. She did what she could to cope with it. If you want to truly love her, admit to her your own behavior led to this situation, and so, you have no choice but to forgive her since she has been honest.
Allow her full freedom to choose to move on. Remember she waited for you for a reason. She will probably continue to be with you, so boldly and fully allow her to decide what she wants now. Warning: If you do this, you may have one awesome relationship ahead. Or, you may both move onto healthier relationships in the future.
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