A
male
age
30-35,
*ublimeaces
writes:i have never thought i was gay, even hinted at the posobility. i have liked girls since i was young, i used to steal my moms victoria secret magazines out of the trash to "look at" hah, and used to fake eat my sister's dolls pussys. i was pretty young and my mom was very oppressive not letting me watch powerrangers when i was a kid and if shes in a the room i cant listen to music or tv's that swear or have anything to do with sex. sry for that background just thought it was important. i havnt had many girlfriends latly, i used to have alot of girlfreinds in grade school before i knew what iwas actually doing, used to break up with girls and date their best friends just so i could add another one to this list i had. but then i hit puberty and had hella bad acne and got fat and became a nerd and since then i havnt had any girls. now im 19 and im not fat im built like a football player, got contacts, and acne died down. and i have only had 2 girl friends and kissed a couple since junior year. one girlfriend that i was dating on and off junior to senior year was crazy but idk y i go for those types of girls. maybe cuz it makes me seem more comfortable with all my anxiety and wierd thoguhts. but anyway she finally decided to have sex and this was after we broke up, started talking, hung out and then died down again. so it felt like pitty sex. but she came over and barly made out with me, and wouldnt take off her clothes except for her thong under her skirt. and she wouldnt let me look. and i was fucking nervous as hell. i got hard right away but when i put it in and tried to start fucking her i died down almost immediatly because i was so tense and nervous and i know that just from all the blood flow going into your muscles because your nervous. but then she said god you make me feel like shit and left. and i was mad as hell for the next couple of days. ever since then ive been thinking i was gay, my freinds never said i was gay or asked me if was gay to my face, if they did i would simply say no , but it seems sometimes that my family and freinds are saying it behind my back or hinting it to me and it makes me mad, or i overhear them saying something like your sons gay, or that guys gay .. to the point where when its like a cologne comercial and a guys body is shown or something i feel that everyones staring at me and i get really nervous that everyones trying to figure me out! but heres the thing if im watching it alone i couldnt give a shit. i dont even second guess it dont get any excitment from it at all. but i even had a tramatic experience when i was a freshamn in highschool, a friend that i had who i didnt know was gay, because he was into skateboarding and snowboarding and other action sports like i was . well he spent the night at my house and then basically tried to get me to have sex with him. and being the opressed kid i was growing up under my christian mom was too nice to get up and yell get the fuck outta my house so i just said "naw dude im sry im not like that thats cool that you are tho". and he jsut said ok then i got off the pull out coach, and layed on the ground. i didnt even spread the word around the whole school just a couple of close friedns that he was gay.. i didnt think about it again for alot of years. completely forgot about it all. untill all that happend with crazy girl that i was dating wanted to have pity sex. I have nothing against gay people either, my sister has a gay friend and i never thoguht of him anything more or less than just this annoying guy who talks way to loud and too much. my best friedns who is a girl is lesbian, we grown up close to each other and have known eachother since 2nd grade. but my biggest problem is being so paranoid about hidden gay people. i know this is from the fact that i didnt know my friend was gay until it was too late, and i guess im paranoid of it happening again, so if anyone shows any signs of femininity, including myself, i get really anxious and paranoid that their are gay people around or that i am gay. i mean its so bad that even if somone says that dog or baby is cute thats a guy or if i say something like a baby or dog is cute then i think that person, even myself is gay. and yes i am on xanax for my anxiety but i try not to take it unless im going to be out in public the entire day. because i even get these feelings from strangers.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2011): you're just completely paranoid..that's so funny ha,maybe when you had sex with your gf, you were just extremely nervous..so lesson learned, be confident, whenever you'll have sex again show to the girl what you've got, show to her how good you are..be excited, not nervous..going back to the gay thing..nobody knows that you are gay except you yourself..if you figure out that you're not, then you are not..examine yourself dear, and when you examine yourself, make sure you will be really true to yourself, never hide anything, be pure, don't be afraid, be true because yourself wont condemn you,right?, it's just like a conversation with somebody who understands and who will understand you for everything you are..just be honest..and when everything is clear, accept whatever is your realization..be happy with that..
A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (12 February 2011):
 awwww sweety. u just need to relax. lots of foreplay before sex,and do it with someone u care about,not just to have a f*ck,otherwise ur gonna be way too worried about ur performance and eventually blow it all up.
ur not gay. be comfortable around them. dont worry.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2011): You're not gay. Unless you're sexually attracted to men, and your post indicates you never have been. If you were, you'd have known all about it long before now.
But try not to be paranoid around gay people, that's the same as being nervous around black people - stupid, unfair and a phobia that YOU have to get over. Perhaps it's connected to what happened to you that time, but I know you know full well that gays are just people like everybody else and won't do you any harm.
Also, try and get a handle on your anxiety issues, they CAN be beaten.
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