A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I recently got engaged with a girl that i love, she is about 35 and i am 30, during our initial dates she did tell me that she had many ex-partners and also a lesbian sex with as many as 5 girls, everytime we make love i have to use my fingures to arouse her first and recently she asked me to use a viberator, after this time i suspected that she has had 3 somes, when i asked her she did tell me about her mfm sex, in the last 11 months that i have seen her, i have heard about atleast 20 guys that she has had sex with, I don't have much sexual experience, but i am not sure if she is with me to at last settle down with a nice guy, after trying all her sexual fantasies, I feel used, I feel that she has met me at a point where she has nothing else to offer, she keeps telling me how good looking i am, somehow when i hear say that i feel she has been doing this forever, she is a nice girl and i love her for many other reasons, she is compatible, i have never felt this intense love for anyone else, I am not sure if i can deal with her history, should i cancel my marriage plans?
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male
reader, Mr. Smith  +, writes (17 January 2011):
Honestly my friend what you are feeling will never go away. Contrary to what some people might say.. you have all the right in the world to feel like this. I do suggest you be honest with her and let her know what is going on. she has all the right in the world.
I am going thru the same situation and my wife even though she cares for me, our love life is horrible.. I have so many things I always wanted to experiment with my wife, but she already did this with many men and now I am atuck in a marriage that even though there is love but no passion...
do your self a favor and sit down with her and let her know how you feel try to look for options and do not feel bad for what's going on... the past is past correct but that says alot of who you are inthe present!!!
A
female
reader, Aura Answers You!  +, writes (14 January 2011):
Dear,
Your wife to be could have shut up and not tell you a thing and you wouldn't have know a thing... If you didn't know would you be making wedding plans??
Relax and get your wedding plans sorted out before you loose her forever..
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2011): I encourage you to break it off. These feelings won't just go away on their own. You're stuck with them permanently, either you are able to deal with them or you aren't. The best you can hope for is to deal with them one day at a time. There is never any getting rid of them.
She says you are good looking but you don't have much sexual experience. I'm guessing that probably means you chose not to lead the kind of life that she has led. If that's the case then I can see how this person doesn't feel right to you. It's just not you. It never was and never will be. Her past isn't just some unfortunate thing that happened to her, it is the product of WHO SHE IS. She chose to live that way for many years. She still has all the memories, she reaped the benefits of those choices, and she will always carry the damage of them. She is responsible for her own actions.
If you stay with her and never can find a way to live with it, this is what you will hear when you ask for help later: You knew all this about her before you married her so you should have broken it off back then if you couldn't deal with it.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (14 January 2011):
 Ask yourself one question. This girl that you say you love, can you see spending the rest of your life with her? Better yet, can you see her not being part of your life? That's your answer.
Sure, she has history. Who doesn't to some extent. You said you don't have much, but what you do have wasn't with her, was it? Is she judging you for the history that you had which didn't include her, or are you being hypocritical and keeping this one sided?
You say you love her and have never felt this intense, so what does her past matter. Be in the present. Love each other now for who you two are together. That's what's truly important. Don't loose someone you truly love because of what they may have done before you two met.
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A
male
reader, the_phoenic +, writes (14 January 2011):
If she is honest to you marry her without hesitation
Be aware that her experience well often spice your sexual life
And tou well have loads of pleasure that many aren't having
Keep looking at the good side and remember that we live in the present and the past should always stay in the past
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2011): dont get the point about fingering lol, id never get anywherewithout and ive not had a lot of partners.
this decision is really down to you. no one else can know or change how you feel about this but you.butyes,if you know it will cause you problems dont go through with it
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