A
female
age
41-50,
*RICAN
writes:What do I do with myself - I hate the person I have become! I went out with a married man twice and he dumped me. I recovered from it after going for vacation immediately after, and a month and half later we met at a party and sure as hell I acted like nothing happened before and was with him the whole night. A week later I went over to his house for a party he was hosting because he invited me and ended up in his bed. I was OK with him telling me he wanted no commitment and couldn't be alone in the relationship. I assumed he will be dating someone I didn't know but I later found he was seeing a colleague at work. We have friends who know that he is doing me and my colleague at work. He gives me full attention at parties and meets the other woman at other times. I'm sexually attracted to the guy but i feel disgusted to share him with someone I know. I deserve better. Should I call him and say its over or should I leave him alone and forget about him without telling him what I feel? Or is it fine for me to just enjoy the sex when he gives it to me? I am a freak, sensible people!Adviseeeee please
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (5 July 2008):
 It's OK for you to have sex. It's not OK to have sex with a married man. That is one of the most disrespectful things you could possibly do. It shows a total lack of good character and is definitely lacking in the morality department. If he and his wife were swingers, that would be different. Assuming they're not, you're stepping all over another woman's relationship and giving her husband reason to continue his rotten ways.
Look for someone you're entitled to have.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2008): So basically, you're a sex buddy to him.
Keep it up if you want, but don't complain about your situation if you do. He'll give you just enough romantic satisfaction to slow down your looking for something better. And he'll be just sexy enough (because you can't have him) to make any other (decent) guy seem like a come-down in comparison.
Do him if you like. Your loss.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2008): I am a little confused; he is married, you went out twice, he dumped you; then a month and a half later you meet again and continue as if nothing happened; now you discover he is also dating somebody from your work; Am I correct with this?
Then this guy has his wife you and the other girl?
Unless you like sharing for the rest of your life; get away from this guy; STOP all contact with him; no matter how attracted you are to him; ATTRACTION is not enough to built a relationsip on;
THis guy is BAD news and you will never be able to trust him; even if tomorrow he propose to you; you will always have doubts about how many other girls there might be;
You deserve to find somebody that you can trust; somebody that respects you; that will value and love you;
MOVE ON; you have done it before; you can do it again;
Yes, it will hurt a little; but the joy you will experience in a good relationship is far greater then the little hurt now; Have dignity and get out; go find your mr RIGHT;
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, pepper27  +, writes (5 July 2008):
 Hi Hunny
You are really not happy with yourself sweetheat you dont like what you have become and want to change this pattern..So dont go back for more I no its easy for me to say Im not in your possition but hunny I have been in a situation of a simular nature along time ago and I to did not like it at all and had to regain my self confidence and walk away and that was with my husband who had cheated but I still saw him even though he had a new g/f and thinking that I could change the outcome was foolish as it was sex and only sex..Yes he wanted to work things out but no because if someone cares for you they dont do things to hurt you..So my advice to you is keep away from this guy the other woman doesnt know whats going on he is bad news love, Find someone that cares for you and you alone , He is out there sweetheart...TAKE CARE OF YOU WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
male
reader, ChiRaven  +, writes (5 July 2008):
 There is a perfectly legitimate lifestyle, polyamory, in which a person (or people) will have more than one partner. When it is done, and done successfully, it is done with the full consent of everyone involved.
Somehow, I don't think that's quite what's going on here.
I don't think that you're quite ready to be part of such an arrangement. In that case, the best thing you can do is get yourself out of it as soon as you can. Personally, I believe that you should make a clean break. That's usually proper etiquette for such things. Meet with this guy and tell him that you are no longer satisfied with the arrangement. Don't try to assign blame ... you walked into it with your eyes open. Just tell him that it no longer works for you, and that you're calling it quits. Stick to that. I doubt that a renegotiation of the circumstances of your arrangement would work in this instance.
No matter how attracted you are to this guy, the arrangement just isn't for you. Get out now.
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