A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and a guy are going to have sex in a few weeks, and i was just wondering if anyone could give me advice..? Also, my friend had sex with this guy and she did this because she thought he liked her and she thought this would bring them closer but it didn't at all. It made everything else worse, what kind of things should i say to make her feel better? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2007): Take a good look at the situaiton that you friend is in, because that's where you will be soon.
He is who he is. Sleeping with him won't make him owe you anything more than he owes you without sex.
A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (5 December 2007):
 You are going to sleep with someone who just broke your friend's heart. Hmmmmm. I doubt that there is anything that you can say to make her feel better. Have you ever heard the expression - "Actions speak louder than words"? It sounds like this guy likes everybody. Probably anybody who will sleep with him. Why on earth are you considering this? It doesn't sound like you are in love, and you don't sound like you are even in a committed relationship; "a guy". Most people who write in call them "My Boyfriend" or "The Guy I'm So In Love WIth", but You talked more about your friend. Guilty feelings? I think that you already know that this is not a good move, or you wouldn't be writing to us. You are certainly too young to be sleeping with someone if you don't know enough not to sleep with a friends ex, which is a cardinal rule in friendships, a big no-no. Please wait until you get to Uni and have a better idea about relationships and friendships. You still have to run into both of these people in the hallways until the end of high school, and that's not fun when one has seen you naked and the other one hates you. I know this sounds like harsh advice, but I am assuming that you wanted to hear lots of different opinions in order to make a decision. Take care of yourself and make good decisions for yourself. Some things you can't take back. I'm 52 and still am in touch with high school friends. Are you going to be able to call her in 30 years?
...............................
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (5 December 2007):
 Your friend slept with the same guy? Why in the world would you want to (plan on??) sleeping with the same guy when you already know he's a jerk. Don't just have sex with someone. That's not the point of sex. Sex is supposed to be special, between two people who care about each other and have mutual respect for each other.
Also, sex shouldn't be planned. With the exception, I supposed of when you are trying to get pregnant, but still... sex should happen naturally between two people. You shouldn't be making promises to sleep with some guy... now he's just going to treat you nicely until you have sex and unless you plan on doing it again, he might drop you like a hot potato - just like he did your friend.
I think you should really reconsider your decision to have sex with him, Ditch you plan. Your plan sucks (sorry... you don't suck, your plan just does). Find a guy who is completely worth your time, not someone who makes your friends feel bad about themselves.
Ditch the loser and hold out for a worthy gentleman. I assure you he'll be worth the wait.
Good luck, sweetness!
xxIndia
...............................
A
female
reader, mumsicles86  +, writes (5 December 2007):
sweety your far too young to be thinking about things like this yet. for a start its illegal and if it happened, he could be in serious trouble. secondly please dont rush into anything, losing your virginity is a big mile stone in your life dont waste it. if he starts trying to pressure you or anything like that he isn't worth it. look at your friends situation, you dont want that happening to you. As for your friend, just be there for her tell her he isnt worth it and hope she has learnt from this mistake.
...............................
A
male
reader, Namatjira +, writes (5 December 2007):
Quite simply, put it off. You can only give away your virginity once and it should be a precious gift to someone you really feel strongly about. You are young and have plenty of time, so just enjoy being your age.
If he reacts badly when you tell him you are not ready yet, then at least you know that he was not worth the honour of such a gift. You do not want to become another notch on his bedpost.
...............................
|
