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age
30-35,
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writes: im gay, should i come out the closet? my parents are VERY homophobic. just yesterday they saying how being gay is such a waste. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, gayguy16  +, writes (25 October 2007):
 hey, you should only come out when your ready,, I made the biggest mistake and coming out to a ned in my skool, it was all over the place as quick as a blink of the eye, when your ready you should come out to a close friend, possibly its better if you come out to a girl, not a guy, guys immediatly/usualy think that you like them since you came out to them, and 3rdly girls r usualy more supportive, i've still not came out to my parents, basically coz i dont know how they'll react, but if you want to tell them dont what ever happens bring it up in an argument, then the day after it'll be all akward, hopefully av helped, bye
A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (9 October 2007):
 Hi babe, before you come out.. i suggest you really think about how you are going to do this.. Your parents seem almost homophobic.. and im not sure how they will react. You need to find a was of reasurance to them. Im thinking you have been thinking this for quite some time? Because it is something which changes over time.. i used 2 think i was bi, then my current boyfriend (a bit homophobic) said he isnt keen on bis and lesbiens and gays etc.. so i just decided i wasnt but the thing is, there are people who make this mistake and then have lost their respect from their familis.. Babe dont live a lie, 'come out' when you are ready, but really think about it frist. I hope i helped, Mail me if you would like to talk x
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A
male
reader, aim  +, writes (9 October 2007):
 Oh! I also want to advice you to go some 'gay support' thing in your community if you have one. Unfortunately, we dont have that kind of support here since..... the Philippines suck. Haha.
I believe it'll help you to be able to speak your mind about almost anything and be stronger on your everyday encounters.
Oh btw, if you wanna know, i also am having a hard time with my family (sooo many factors aside from me being bi) coming out because for one, they're fujkingly religous and paradoxical about homosexuals in the world. Like being gay/bi is a choice... Pfffft.
Ciao dude!
-Aim
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A
male
reader, aim +, writes (9 October 2007):
Hi dude.
Im male 17 and i am bi.
I also have been thinking to come out to my family and friends but decided not to until i have graduated or have my own space/dorm/house/life. This is such because being gay here in the Philippines is seriously being prejudiced. And being bisexual here is REALLY REALLY rare and thus people think being gay and being bi is just the same (how stupid right?). And somehow gay people here are 'weird' because 95% of them are crossdressers/wants to be a woman and the 5% are the 'normal' ones. I guess that's the cause of all the 'gay commotion'. I myself dont like crossdressers, btw. Anyway, i believe in any part of the world, homosexuality is being prejudiced regularly, just in different levels.
Haha, before i digress, i'd go back to your question...
You should keep it inside for a while (a looong while maybe) and wait until you can stand on your own. I know it is hard to be someone you're not; i also have been experiencing this eveyday of my teenage life! You just have to be strong for yourself, like what i've been trying to do, and you'd be able to endure and be free in time! Haha! Good luck to us mah man!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2007): Wait, as much as Don't Worry's advice is a positive one, it might not be a good one. Not to put your answer down by the way.
Firstly, you're still very young. If you come out that you're homosexual now, it might be very tough for you for the rest of trying to grow up. It's possible that your parents aren't very open-minded, but it is also possible that their homophobia is accurately biased and extend to even hating homosexuality. They may disown you in essence, they may even start to resent you. I don't know how your parents are like, but they may even start fighting because of you.
It's one thing to be comfortable about your own sexual preferences, but it's a different thing to come out untactfully.
Mr. Anon above Don't Worry suggested when you're older. I agree. I'll give you an example.
My brother is homosexual. He told my mom when he was still a teenager. Let's just say, it wasn't easy for him. They thought he needed therapy. They thought maybe he hadn't tried a girl yet. They thought they maybe he needed to go see a doctor. They thought he had a problem. At first, I asked him to give it time, but eventually I realized that our way of thought was the problem. He had no problem, it was us.
When we were children, growing up, he was the most adored. He was so personable and silly and funny, but after that, he became more and more distant. Nowadays, I see him once every two to three weeks at best. Sometimes he comes home and celebrate certain occasions, but that's about it.
Take note, and think it through thoroughly, regardless on how much you want to tell the world and be liberated and free.
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female
reader, xxmissxx +, writes (9 October 2007):
 Ok, hun i think you should definatly come out because you cant really live a lie, if your gay you shouldnt deny it to anyone-certainly not any homophobs! Even if they are your parents!
Once they know theyll probably be in a bit of denial (most are) but once they see your happy theyll learn to accept it eventually.
Just tell them the truth and if they argue or act silly over this just politely say
" At least im not lying to you about who i really am, im happy theres no need for over exagduation, all i want is your love and support "
Good luck dear
xxx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2007): Hi I am a guy guy and a good bit older than you but can remember what it was like. Is there any need for you to come
out to your parents just yet, maybe wait until you are older and more prepared to deal with any fall out.
Is it possible your parents have an idea you may be gay and hence are making these comments. Maybe a good place to start would be checking out local gay support groups to explore subject of coming further so you can decide what is right for you.
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A
female
reader, dont_worry  +, writes (9 October 2007):
 if you are gay you should not be embarresed from this...
because its something natural, very common.
maybe your parents are not very open minded but eventually they will figure it out that you are gay so its better to hear it from you. The sooner you tell them, the better you will feel and you could start to adapt yourself to your new way of living.
Good luck =)
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