A
female
age
36-40,
*enguins_fan87
writes: Iam majorly falling for my boss. I think he harmlessly flirts with me but im not sure. In 21 and he is only a few years older than me and he is really good looking.He never calls me by my first name, he either calls me by my nickname or he affectionatly calls me Miss, Ma"m, or Madame. He always walks past me and either smiles or winks at me. He is always asking me to help him with stuff, and he always jokes with me when my favorite sports team looses. The other day he called me into his office and he told me what a good job I was doing and how much I improved. Could he be flirting with me or iam i just imagining it because i like him? I mean is it even possible to pursue a relationship with him? We are both single but he is my boss. I get so flustered around him that I always mess up and act like a total moron. Anybody got any advice please help me. Thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2007): This can be tricky. Employer/Employee relations are so encumbered now with laws and regulations, it is difficult for anyone to know how to act anymore. Just being open and friendly can get people accused of
"inappropriate behavior." I don't know if your boss is "flirting" or not. I don't know if you are or not. If there are other employees around, I would be very careful. If you are the only two in the "office" or whatever, and you both are easy with the bantering, I don't see anything wrong. He does not appear to have done or said anything that is offensive to you. It is the "offensive" behavior that the laws are all about. I know many Boss/Employee relationships that have resulted in marriage. I have also known some that have resulted in lawsuites. So, there is no pat answer. It is all about how you feel.
A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (14 October 2007):
You could ask him to dinner to see how you two get along outside of work. Remember most businesses don't permit bosses to date employees. One of you must quit or you both must risk being fired. Make sure your mutual affection is up to this.
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A
female
reader, Lila +, writes (14 October 2007):
Is your job your career? If the answer is yes,get over your crush. If the answer is no,date him on the d.l. and be prepared to look for other work should anyone find out. You just gotta figure out how much you like him and he likes you and what you are willing to sacrifice. Be on the lookout for snitches though,because my boss had a crush on me,I hated him,but my coworkers were trying to get us together to get him out of the company. Office politics bite big time, be careful.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (14 October 2007):
It's not appropriate to pursue a relationship with your boss. It can cause problems. Quite a few business don't even allow management to have relationships with their employees, that is if they wish to keep their jobs. Once sexual harassment became a big issue, employers put a stop to it. It's OK to have a crush on someone at work, but here you have to keep in line with employer/ employee boundaries.
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