A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a "friend" that I known my whole life because our dads work for the same company. We went to the same high school and hung out often. As an adult, I can't stand him. He always wants to go places but wants other people to pick up his tab. He always makes plans with people and cancels them if he thinks something better comes up. Examples: We went out to eat dinner a few years ago and he asked me if I could pay the bill because he forgot his wallet at home (I found out later he did the same scam on other people). Before his ex-wife divorce him, he skipped his 13 years old brother-in-law's birthday party to attend a LSU football game (I agree with his ex-wife that he should have went to the brother-in-law's birthday party and not the LSU football game).I no longer do anything with him. The problem is he is getting remarried in a few months and he sent me a wedding invitation. I have no desire to go to his wedding. I am planning on mailing the wedding invitation back, letting them know I will be unable to attend. If they ask why, what would be an appropriate response to give?
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divorce, ex-wife, his ex, no desire, wedding Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (22 March 2021):
 I wonder; did this "friend" ever find his wallet to repay you for picking up the bill? I wager not. Clearly he’s a moocher and not a friend in any sense of the word… Remember the saying; “you can’t pick family, but you can pick friends”!? So with that in mind, along with your sentiments of this ‘friend’ I would politely mail an “inability to attend” card/letter, (be what the custom is in your country.)
“If they ask why”, and you don’t want to spill the truth, I’d be polite and use COVID as my paramount reason. Chances are you’ll have more of a problem to decline if/when he invites you to his 3rd/4th marriage as by then the population would be vaccinated etc. - lol.
Perhaps ask him in a curious fashion, why the invite when you longer see each other?
Take Care - CAA
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2021): Is this my baby-brother, is this about Demetrius? Where have I heard all these situations before??? It was the guy my youngest brother grew-up with. Pulled all the same stunts!
You were remembered only to increase their bounty of gifts, and to add plunder to their cash bowl.
Here's what you do. Absolutely nothing!!! Crickets!!!
If no response, they will not reserve a place or order a plate for you.
Only those attending must RSVP.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (17 March 2021):
 Quite honestly OP, its really no one's business why you don't want to attend so I certainly wouldn't offer any explanations. If someone should be be rude and uncouth enough to ask, I would say that you have a prior engagement. END OF STORY. Honestly most people wouldn't ask so I wouldn't sweat it. Just tick the box that you are not attending and that should be enough.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2021): Just say you're sorry you cant come. You dont need to give a reason but if you feel that you do some white lie excuses might be that you have to attend another wedding on the same day, that you cant afford to travel there, that you have a trip already planned, that you have some work commitment etc. I wouldnt feel obligated to give a gift either
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (17 March 2021):
 I doubt he will call to see why you can't attend. If he does I would tell him you have a prior engagement and there is no further need to elaborate.
You DO NOT owe an acquaintance an explanation.
I would also send them congratulations on the nuptials but no gift. Just because you KNOW him and he sent you an invitation doesn't mean you OWE them a gift either.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2021): The global situation right now is the perfect excuse.I have used this many times.
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A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (17 March 2021):
 He is a friend that has been in your life, and now isen't, like you say you no longer do anything with him.
He is obviously not a friend you want in your life, so it stands to reason you would not want to attend the wedding.
Just send the wedding invitation back and tick the part where it say's unable to attend.
I don't feel that you have to provide an explanation as to why you are not going. You have decided not to go, and that's it end of.
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