A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Hi...I am really struggling with my mental health and have had anxiety, mood and eating problems for years. I was doing fine until my home country and the country I study in went into second lockdown, on which i fully relapsed into my eating disorder and have experienced the worst depressive episode of my life, at some point overdosing and needing to spend time in hospital.My decline started when I was at one over christmas break. I have a rocky relationship with my parents, who are aware of my self harm scars and weight loss but have never said anything, and felt extremely triggered by my mother’s comments and diets. On top of that, my dad was abusive when I was a child and although he isn’t anymore, at times i still experience panic when i’m at home. When my depression reached its worst over break I was yelled at for not functioning, which really made it more difficult for me to get better because I was already being hard enough on myself. I got back to uni for wellbeing circumstances, and although most of my friends were unable to return i think i’m gradually getting better.Well, now lockdown is ending in my home country and I am considering going home. I’m still horribly depressed and barely functioning, but one of the reasons for my shitty mental state is the fact that I was stuck at home unable to see anyone. When I lived at my parents’ place pre-covid, I went to coffee shops to get work done or hid out at a friend’s house if I felt unsafe, which I might be able to do if lockdown does end. Plus I have a sibling at home and it would be easier to take care of them while there.What do you think? Should I go back despite the rocky relationship with my parents? I honestly don’t know what’s best for my mental health here.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2021): Yes,I think it would do you good to go home.It will also do your mum and dad good and your sibling all of whom may have lost you forever if your overdose hadn't been mercifully averted.At your age it's hard to believe that other people's worlds go around just because you are in it.You see yourself as a problem, perhaps part of a difficult series of lifestyle choices and when you overdose to the point that your life hangs in the balance you have no idea that their world will come crashing down if it were fatal.When you were born you were a gift from God.You still are, but because of difficult home circumstances you don't believe it.Think how much strength you have generated within yourself to deal with so many problems that can't be expressed by words.Truly, I am sorry that you have been traumatised to the point of developing an eating disorder and negative feelings towards yourself.It is not your fault that your home family life is difficult.But you have your own inner strength and if you stick with your anti anxiety meds and antidepressants then I think you may be ok.Remember that it is just a visit and not a life sentence.If you get there and regret it then you must have emergency numbers at the ready or enough money to book a room in a hotel or bed and breakfast or a prearranged place to sleep such as a friends sofa. If it becomes really difficult you will need to return speedily to your university accommodation so that you can prepare yourself peacefully for the rest of your studies.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2021): If you have a therapist or counselor, make prior arrangements for emergency crisis consultations. Before you leave for home, get yourself scheduled for a some talk-therapy, and any prescriptions you will need.
Get yourself properly on regimen; if you also have a prescribed medical-therapy program for your anxiety. Take your meds! That's sometimes part of the problem. Another problem is ditching your counseling sessions, and trying to wing-it on your own. That's fine if you pray, and belong to a faith that gives you comfort, and you have a belief in God. There is comfort and healing in believing in God. Considerate it! I said God, I said nothing about "religion." God gets blamed for what self-righteous judgy church-people and their "religion" do. Get to know Him. Pray and ask Him how to find Him, and He will guide the way!
When science is what you depend on; then you need to stay close, and cooperate with your therapist and doctors. Continuously! While you deal with stress, depression, and anxiety. Things don't get that much out of hand; unless you are avoiding your treatment program, and trying to function without them. You have to stay committed to your mental-health treatment program, or things will fall apart. Unfortunately, there is no remedy for your parents; you'll have to cope with them, if you want to be with your sibling.
Go home, or check into a mental-health rehabilitation clinic. Whichever you feel would do you best at this time.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2021): HiYou need to seek some professional support before making rash moves, problems left unresolved only follow you. Please speak to your GP about how you are feeling and particularly your self harming episodes, this say's you need healing. The UK has quite a lot of support to offer regarding mental health, especially because of how the lockdown has effected people. Have you tried online to reach M.I.N.D they have lots of support and can signpost you to the right people who can help you. Please be kind to yourself and understand that life will be particularly lonely at the moment, during lockdown but things are improving.Although at the moment you don't have social connection outside at the moment, it is healthy to be kind to yourself and write a little list of all the things you want to achieve in your precious life. Think about how you can achieve these things, is there something educational you can do online? lots of free courses available and lots of grants to help people.You struggle with eating, I hope you have help with this, have you reached out to others who experience the same.Your generation has a better chance of connecting with other people than the ones before, who were very alone.Do you play music and paint or dance? these are ancient healing arts and can help you, while in lockdown. Please don't hurt yourself anymore, you are one of Gods beautiful children and he loves you, you are special and unique and can overcome all your pain (but you must believe in your self and value yourself and at the moment take care of yourself. Our bodies are wonderful and to be good to it, is to be good to your soul, nourish it with goodness not pain.Be strong and when you feel weak, think of rainbows and the warriors and bring colour and warmth into your life and love yourself as God would want you to do.Sending you a rainbow hug, things will get better.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2021): You write from UK but you don't mention which is your Home Country. Is it a European country? Is your country safe? Obviously if the prospects are good in your country then yes it would be much better to go back and be with your family. Living alone is not easy especially if you have limited funds that bearly cover your necessary expenses.
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