A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm a teacher. I have recently found myself attracted to one of my 6th form students (only 17 years old :S) I would never act on this but feel continuously guilty. I am in a long term relationship which makes it even worse. What can I do to stop this feeling?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2009): Well. In a year the ;boy' will legally be proclaimed a man and be out of your hair and then not a single moral or legal hurlde will stand in your way.I mean the age difference between you if almost negligible at this point really.But whilst you are involved with someone else and this young man is a student... I;m afraid your hands are bound. Though female teachers tend to get off easier, and if you are attractive then it's highly probable you'd basically be fired and maybe get a mention in a paper somewhere.So yeah. Wait it out, see if your current relationship is the cause of the problem or its because this student is so close to you in age and so close to being an adult male that your body does not see any difference.Flynn 24
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2009): Accept that you find the young fellow attractive but that since nothing will happen between the two of you that you must steadfastly relate with him in a professional, businesslike manner EVEN IF IT KILLS YOU!
If you show weakness the students will pick up on it and your name will be mud.
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A
male
reader, lazyman87 +, writes (25 November 2009):
just for the benefit of others, the asker is female, and i assume the subject of her crush is male.
you're stereotypical ;)
i think it could be a sign your current relationship isn't working as well as it could. don't tell us, but are you happy in your current relationship? i think you need to seriously think about that.
best of luck x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2009): Don't punish yourself for your feelings. Just understand them and don't let them make you do something stupid.
A crush is a crush. What would you tell a grown man who is crushing on a 17yp girl? That happens all the time. It's not exactly the same situation but it's similar in a lot of ways. And you have to deal with it in a lot of the same ways.
And remember that this kid has the "forbidden fruit" temptation working for him. When something is off-limits that often makes us want it more for no other good reason than we can't have it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2009): Associate her with something bad?
Try to figure out what exactly it is about her that makes you like her, and then find those same things in someone else (like your partner). Might be you are missing your partner so much you project your feelings towards this girl that (perhaps) share some of the same features or personality traits as your partner.
Stay away from this student as much as you can so that it wont accidentally show how what you are thinking, it might cause a scene.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (24 November 2009):
First of all, though I'm sure you won't act, just remember that if you do you could go to prison. (I'm saying that just to deter you a bit more, in case).
Instead of asing how to stop it, ask why you're feeling it in the first place. You're crushing on him why exactly? Could it be that there is something in your own relationship that isn't working right now? Are there issues that need to be addressed? You don't need to feel guilty about it, but you do need to address it. Look at your own relationship and see what's missing that is causing you to crush on this other guy.
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