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I am bigger than my partner and being on top is uncomfortable for me. Any suggestions?

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Question - (10 July 2020) 6 Answers - (Newest, 14 July 2020)
A female United States age 36-40, *icolelibra143 writes:

So I am physically the bigger bodied one in the relationship, I weigh a lot more than he does, and when it comes to having sex, me being on top is out of the question for me, I have got on top in the past but I am just completely uncomfortable, for a few reasons, I obviously am much bigger than him, and when riding I get out of breath really fast, and I can't fully release because I always feel like I am going to squish him so I'll be really tense the whole time. If there was like some kind of sex bar to hang onto while you were on top of your man riding him, I feel like it would be so much easier and enjoyable. Is there any tips or ideas on how I can get on top of him during sex and have a good experience that we'll both want to do again?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2020):

Try this, a reverse missionary position -- girl on top.

You lay horizontal on top of him, plant your knees into the mattress, cradle him with your arms and have your forearms on the mattress. like the girl on bottom version, have him plant his heels high up your back. Then go to town and jack hammer him.

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States +, writes (12 July 2020):

Fatherly Advice agony aunthttps://smile.amazon.com/cheerM-Multifunctional-Elasticity-Surprising-Adjustable/dp/B087TF98N4/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=sex+chair&qid=1594568181&sr=8-1

that comes highly recommended

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (12 July 2020):

CindyCares agony aunt Unluckily I cannot make you a drawing here :) but it will be enough that you google "woman on top sex positions " and you'll see that there are many variations of the basic

" cowgirl " position, quite a few of which allow you to lean forward and support your own weight with your forearms, and/or to have him do most of the " work ". Also ,you can use a piece of furniture , strategically palced,to hang on and support your weight , a chair, or an exercise bench ( you can have a foot on the ground, this way, that will help ) or just the headbord.

Also, being on top allows you to control not only the penetration angle, and depth, but also your speed. You don't have necessarily to jump up and down like a jack-in-the-box until you are out of breath; you can slow down, move your hips in circles, or in an eight figure, ... in short, it's a matter of trial and error, of experimenting a few diffent solutions and see what works best.

Anyway, if you visually check on line ( or buy yourself a book ) with the possible positions, .. you'll see what I mean better than words can describe.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom +, writes (12 July 2020):

kenny agony auntApart from structural frame work that you can hang on to, there are not to many options here, apart from sticking to missionary.

With the riding on top position, i'm sure you can position yourself so all your weight is not totally on your partner. Similar to a larger guy being on top in the missionary positions may adopt the same tacticts so not to put his whole body weight on his partner.

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A male reader, Wolf1550 United States +, writes (11 July 2020):

Wolf1550 agony auntWell, retired mechanical engineer here, so I have a few ideas.

First off, can you do spooning where he is behind you? It may be just a "band-aid" right now, but it may work for a bit.

Do you own your home, or rent? The reason I ask is because if it's your home, you can certainly add a sling or bar for your comfort. Even a lift assist for helping a person in and out of bed.

If you rent, try and check places like Craig's List for a lift that rolls around. That way you do not have to worry about the holes in the ceiling of the bed room. Heck, you could even put a sex sling on it and have fun. I have seen this type of equipment listed for free. It's worth a shot.

The whole key here is that you can use your imagination to come up with some solutions.

One of the most remembering sex experience I ever had was involving my lover bending over her kitchen counter.

Try to have fun with sex, and try not to worry that you may cause him any discomfort. He can say something if he is hurting.

Kind of sad that you are not enjoying yourself. To a man giving his woman pleasure is the most important thing. I am sure he would be open to suggestions so you could enjoy your self.

I hope this helps.

Smile!

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom +, writes (11 July 2020):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntHow about using a chair?

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