A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hi I have a very new thing going on for 2 weeks to early to call it a relationship we had a little disagreement over something silly just over a week ago now he’s gone very strange on me not texting me hardly only if I have text him which has only been once he said he’s heads all over but so is mine I don’t know what to do I have tried apologising about that silly disagreement I am not the argummentative type I just don’t know what to do I really like him any suggestions thank you
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2020): If the connection is only two-weeks old, and you've already had a disagreement...that he's growing distant and pouting over. I guess that's a clear indication; that if you part over petty-issues, you won't endure anything more serious.
Maybe you see it as something not that important; while it could be a deciding-factor or deal-breaker for him. He has that right. Don't fret over it. If he never calls back; then so be it. Don't be desperate for or over any man! He'll never respect you knowing that. Give it a few days, or up to a week. If he plays the silent-treatment, or ghosts you; then block him, and delete all his messages. Move on!
Err on the side of caution! When people call themselves backing-off, give them their space. Always judge a man by the range of his temper, and the extent of his patience. If he is quick to apologize, or patch things up; regardless of who's at fault, but he seems sincere. That's a sign of strong-character. You have to show him the same courtesy and strength in character; by demonstrating the depth of your maturity. It doesn't make him a bad-guy, if he simply decides that's it, and he wishes not to pursue this any further. You have no relationship to mend; and it's better that he removes himself by self-elimination, rather than continue to fight about it.
If someone you've just met, or have been dating only a short-while, is petty or argumentative; see it as a red-flag, and a warning. Especially, if you're not the confrontational-type.
Two weeks is nothing. That's not enough time to establish or attach any real-feelings. You don't even know him. You don't need his approval or validation; and one mistake is no real reflection on who you are as a person. If he made a minor-mistake, and you've overreacted; then don't press this matter any further. Call it quits! He has made it clear he doesn't forgive or forget easily. That's immaturity and/or meanness in my book!
You're feeling anxious and embarrassed that you've offended him. If he's being a man-baby, and can't overlook little issues; then you've got a preview of what it's like to deal with him. If you know you've really put your foot in it; then leave him alone. Save face, and bow-out gracefully. Trying too hard to cleanup after the fact; sometimes seems insincere, and may even offend the person even more.
If you met him online, swipe left! Forget-about-it, and move-on to the next!
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (13 July 2020):
A question for you: is this how you want to live life? Do you want to spend your time apologizing after every little disagreement, walking on eggshells so as not to upset your boyfriend?
From experience I have learned that, when someone tells you something like their head is all over the place, what they are really saying is that they are not ready for a relationship with you.
If a relationship is this hard after only a couple of weeks, you need to seriously re-evaluate what you want in life and move on. Don't waste 2 months/2 years/2 decades on someone who makes you work so hard for their love. You are worth better.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 July 2020):
Stop apologizing. You have already done that at least once. No need to flog a dead horse.
You glossed over what you two argued over, so if it WAS just a minor "silly" little thing it shouldn't create these kind of waves 2 weeks in IF you are both interested in actually getting to know each other.
If he doesn't text you UNLESS you text him, then I would TAKE that as a MASSIVE hint that he isn't that into you. And I would stop texting and let him go.
I get that you like him, but seriously? Do you think he can actually have a healthy relationship with anyone if he can't handle a "argument over something silly" without bringing all this drama to the table?
If he is SO upset that his head is all over the place, it WASN'T a "silly little" argument for him. It was a deal breaker or semi deal-breaker. Which means he is done.
Or he is a drama queen. Or he is just not willing to figure things out with you and move forward.
So why waste YOUR time on a guy who doesn't SEEM to want to get to know you?
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (13 July 2020):
You have only known this guy for 2 weeks so you both really know nothing about each other at all.
Don'y know what your disagreement was about, but i assume that in the fortnight you have know him you can only have met up at least once or twice.
He is either really upset about about what happened, or he is using it as an excuse to say he does not want to see you anymore.
I think you should maybe cool things and refrain from contacting him for maybe 2 or 3 weeks and see what happens during this time.
Send a polite text after three weeks just asking how he is doing. If you get no reply from this then you know where you stand and you can move on.
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A
male
reader, Justryingtohelp +, writes (13 July 2020):
You really like him after 2 weeks and an argument and him acting strange? Honestly, you need to ask yourself whether you want to waste any more time on this guy. This is a taster of what life with him will be like. Is this the sort of relationship you want? I would cut my losses and leave him to sort out his head. Relationships shouldn't be this difficult, especially so early on.
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