A
male
age
36-40,
*iff160
writes:Ok bear with me here because this is a bit of a long story. I love my girlfriend and we have been living together for 6 months. The entire time we have been going out, she has never cared how I feel about anything. About 10 months ago, I expressed to her that I didn't want her to smoke pot and I didn't like some of the people she works with (mainly one guy I will call Bob). So a week later her and her sister smoke pot with Bob and another guy she works with. She initially lied about Bob being there then I found out and she admitted he was there. I was so pissed and frankly I still am. Then about 4 months ago (after we have been living together) she asks if she can get a ride from Bob to work and I grudgingly agreed because she said he was her friend and I didn't want to run her life. Well I found out that Bob didn't take a car to work but a motorcycle, so she was on the back of his motorcycle with her arms around him. She didn't lie about it and she admitted to it. Then yesterday, I go to pick her up from work (she doesn't have a car) and this guy Bob stops me ands asks me why I haven't fixed my other car for her (I have a broken car thats a registration nightmare). And so I politely avoided that topic because it's none of his business. I told her that I suspected that she had feelings for him and she denied it but I could tell it was true. He is over ten years older than her and is married with two kids!!! I am not totally innocent and have made mistakes in the relationship but not like this.To top it off, I'm having to work several jobs and am working 6 days a week and about 10 hours a day on average. She only works 3 days a week and expects me to clean and fix stuff around the house on my off time while she sits around the house on the PC all day. To be honest, I am at my wits end. I am thinking about telling her to take a break but I love her. I am completely at a loss because no matter how I feel about something, she goes and does it anyway, then says "sorry" then does it again! What can I do? I don't think I can leave her because I love her.
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female
reader, Mummy08  +, writes (5 April 2009):
 Hi There
How did you get on when you spoke to her?
If you feel that no matter what you say she'll do it anyway then she has no respect for your feelings in this relationship and i would tell her that. Ask her how she would feel if the shoe was on the other foot and believe me no matter what she says it would bother her.
I do hope you get this sorted but remember we all have feelings and sometimes we deserve more.
Good Luck & I hope you find happiness
Kerry :-)
A
male
reader, Biff160 +, writes (4 April 2009):
Biff160 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your answer/advice. I have tried to talk to her about but she continually denies having any feelings towards Bob. I agree 100% about the importance communication because that is what caused my parents to end their relationship. Tonight I will try to talk to her and try to explain how much it's stretching our relationship to it's limits. To be honest, I feel like no matter what I say, she will do whatever she wants.
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A
female
reader, Mummy08 +, writes (3 April 2009):
from the information here id say she probably does like him but the question is would she do anything about it we all are tempted but its whether you cross the line.
I would tell her how you feel she is obviously using you or extremely lazy either way dont you deserve more wouldnt you like to be with someone who loves you the same i know you love her but there will come a point when your ready where you'll get so fed up you'll start resenting her.
the trouble with most relationships is lack of communication dont leave it too late, try to talk things through now and see how you get on remember its also about compromise you may have to accept bob as her friend but there are ground rules that can apply for instance you wouldn't let her sleep at his would you? so just for your own piece of mind tell her the things that would make you uncomfortable and she should agree not to do them that way she doesnt lose her friend if thats all he is.
hope this helps
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