A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am a 20 year old guy and I am gay. I have always been Dusky which made me feel ugly as I'm usually attracted to fair guys and It always makes me think that a fair guy will never fall in love with me. I started using a skin lighting cream which made my skin 10 shades lighter than it was and I happened to get a lot of attention as suddenly was considered good looking. Now My skin has tanned again due to excessive use of the skin lightning cream and I am even scared to meet people because I think people who saw me really fair in the picture would despise seeing me. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, rivi  +, writes (21 December 2010):
For heaven's sake stop using those creams.Didn't you notice what happened to Michael Jackson's looks after he did all that nonsense of skin lightening ?? He looked like death warmed up!Physical attractiveness is part only of the mix which attracts people to one another : personality / intelligence / kindness are a big part too. Variations of 'duskiness' probably don't come into it for most people.Forget the skin coloring nonsense ; get fit if you are not already, and train yourself to feel confident when interacting with people, esp guys you are attracted to. Report back on your findings in due course....
A
male
reader, CaptainObvious +, writes (21 December 2010):
 Some people will like how you look - some won't.
But I'm betting you'll have more satisfying relationships if you come to terms with your self image.
If you want to work out - go for it.
Want to invest in some hip new threads?
That works too.
But please understand that people have all sorts of different preferences.
I'm an old straight white guy with a pot belly and my hair is grey and beating a hasty retreat.
That didn't stop the telephone repair guy who looked like a young, thin Patrick Swayze from hitting on me.
I don't profess to be an expert on gay culture, much less in India, but people are people.
Folks usually put each other into a doable/not doable category in the first 5 minutes of meeting each other.
Learn to identify the guys who are attracted to how *you* look, and let the rest be 'just friends.'
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2010): You are projecting your own tastes, dislikes, insecurities onto other people. You shouldn't do this. Everybody is different. You need to work extra hard on working this issue out and avoid doing this because this is a troublesome problem. I have known a few people who have the bad tendency of projecting their own flawed view of the world onto others and it has created tons of problems in their life, especially socially.If they don't like fish, they assume EVERYBODY does not like fish. If they like gatorade, they assume EVERYBODY likes gatorade. They can't fathom that people think differently than them. The all or nothing egocentric view of the world and they truly, genuinely cannot fathom that there is a whole world outside their head of possibilities and variety. Without realising it you start pigeon-holing people into your world view and people will start resenting you for it.Everybody is different. Everybody has their own unique tastes and preferences. I know it is hard for you to believe because you can't imagine a world view different from your own but there are people who GENUINELY like "dusky" men. So stop putting all these harmful chemicals on your lovely skin and try instead to deal with the REAL problem. You have a very skewed way of looking at things. Figure out a way to open your mind to reality. The world is full of possibilites. If you need to talk to a therapist to help guide you through this then do it! Don't put this issue off.
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A
female
reader, Julliet  +, writes (21 December 2010):
 I think if people don't like you for who you are, they are not real themselves. I say that you go as you are and if they don't like what they see then that's their loss. Most of my friends that are gay aren't that good looking, but they are funny, they dress well and can carry an entertaining conversation which makes them a whole lot attractive. Also, be confident with yourself. You have to accept you before others can do the same. Just remember perfect is to dumb as flaw is to potential. I hope this helps you in someway...:)
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