A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I really like this guy alot. There was rumours going around about him having HIV. The other night a bunch of us got real drunk. We were about to have sex, when I was like, "No, I need to talk to you about something first" So I straight up asked him if he had HIV. He got all mad and upset and promised me he did not have HIV. So we went along with the sex. Not only did we go along with the sex, but it was also UNPROTECTED. So, not only could I now have HIV, I could also end up pregnant a month down the road.. I really hope I can trust this guy. I really like him alot. I don't want to go get tested for it because I don't want my parent's to know I am sexually active. I am really afraid he was using me for sex, because he hasn't called me since then.. and we had sex on friday and it's going on monday.. Should I call him and ask him whats going on? Ah! I'm so confused.Please help me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2008): Ah...that might be why...
You can talk to someone confidentially at that age still. The only reason that they would tell your parents is if you were a risk to yourself, other people and possibly if your pregnant. I suggest you try and talk to someone older than you that could try and get the help you want.
Also I still recommend you go to a doctor on your own.
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (8 July 2008):
 From the way you wrote before, I could tell you weren't that old. Is there a family planning in your town? It's a government run business which is confidential and may be able to help you.
I believe you should tell your mom. She may be a bit more understanding than you give her, at least in the long run.
I know it can be difficult being a teen. When I was in my late 20's, a daughter of a friend asked to talk to me because she didn't want to tell them. I said sure. She started taking off her shirt, I was like whoa wait a minute. Then I was like Whoa holy s**t. She had a nasty looking rash that consumed 3/4 of her back and chest. It turned out to be an alergic reaction to laundry soap. But I had her tell her parents. She went to the doctor. Fortunately she did. If she continued wearing cloths washed by that soap, her rash could of turned into skin cancer.
When dealing with your health. Don't take chances. I am a parent of teens as well. This is from a parents point of view. I'd feel more as if I let my child down if they hid something from me that turned out to be major, than I would the actions they may choose where I might be disappointed in their choice.
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A
female
reader, Khandi +, writes (8 July 2008):
 listen I understand how you really dont want to disappoint your parents but you mpther will be more upset to find that you are pregnat or HIV positive so you need to deal with talking to her now, because when later comes you will look back and say Dang i shoulda said something before and got it over with, it is easier to tell you mom you are sexually active than it will be to tell her you are HIV positive or pregnant so speak to her ahead of time and build that relationship with her.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (8 July 2008):
 Time to talk with your parents. Don't take a risk with your health. Ask oldersister is dead on right with this....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI've got and let my impulse be my guide..
and on that note, i'll be defenseless for quite sometime.
I am really not 22-25. I am only fifteen years old.
That's why, I don't want my parents to know I am sexually active, I don't want to ask for the pill or anything. I am to scared of my mothers reaction. But thanks for your advice, I am still scared to go get tested.. I hope that I will convince myself sometime to just do it..
Thanks for all your advice.
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A
female
reader, donna1971  +, writes (7 July 2008):
why would you even have sex without protection even if he did say he wasn`t HIV although he`s hardly going to admit it to you at that point.the chances are that he hasn`t but its still stupid to risk any STD`s never mind pregnancy.sorry to sound awful but he`s prob not gonna call he got what he wanted..best to get a pregnancy test done so you know and chalk it up to experience.....
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (7 July 2008):
This is quite a scare you've given yourself. I agree with the other aunts who suggest that you get yourself tested. Your parents need not know about this, your age of 22-25 indicates that you are an adult and have a right to medical confidentiality. If you don't want to use your own gynecologist, which you should have if you ARE sexually active, and even if you're not, then you can find one at plannedparenthood.org. The counselors there should be able to refer you to a clinic that can handle this situation and the testing you'll need to set your mind at ease.
Good luck, and I hope that everything is fine.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2008): As you are aware; you have been very irresponsible to have unprotected sex;
NOW BE RESPONSIBLE and get to your doctor a.s.a.p;
get the morning after pill(within 72 hrs of sex) to try and avoid an unwanted pregnancy and arrange with you doctor to be tested for AIDS and for STD's;
I urge you; do it NOW; don't delay;
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2008): Regardless of rumors, and regardless of trust, you shall practice sex only with latex condoms and water based lube i.e. K.Y or Durex. Unless you know you're in a monogamous relationship then you shall test TOGETHER for HIV and STIs panel. Only after that you can take the condoms off after sorting out the best contraceptive method with your doctor. I am not going to judge you over this incident as I am here to help not to judge. However you will have to wait for 13 weeks after the LAST time there was a potential exposure, then you shall take an ELISA anti bodies test for HIV. Only then a result will be conclusive. If ELISA came negative then the negative result is conclusive, if it came back reactive (positive) then it must be repeated as certain bodies in rare cases might show a false positive result. If the 2nd time came back negative then it is conclusively negative. If it came back reactive again then a confirmative HIV very specified test must be carried out, it is called "Western Blot" which takes longer time and is more expensive. If WB came back negative then the neg result is final, while if it came back reactive then an infection is confirmed, and patient shall proceed to lab for viral load and T cells count tests. You are old and mature enough to understand that regardless of these rumors you shall get the right test at the right time. (Dr Solutions).
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (7 July 2008):
I know you don't want to hear this, but I feel you need to get tested. Not a good idea to have unprotected sex and take those risks. Especially with this rumor going around. Can you believe it or not? Who knows until you get tested.
I'd go that way because of the possability he does just want you for sex. If so, do you think he'd consider you if he does have HIV, or say what you want to hear so he can get what he wants?
I remember a story I heard not long ago. A man with HIV, who gave it to 20+ females. When asked about it, his answer was, "If I'm going to die, I'm taking others with me."
I pray you're negative. Take care, and protect yourself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2008): You should've just refused it. If there was any feeling about him having HIV then you should be weary.
But the past is the past and the future is now. Your age (if its the truth) shows the you don't need your parents to come with you. Get it checked out. Also, continue to try and get hold of him.
Besides your parents would probably just assume that you are sexally active. They'd probably be concerned if you weren't.
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