A
male
age
30-35,
*ason361
writes:I think I need serious help. I haven't been happy one day in the past 3-4 months after I left my ex. I'm starting to get worried, i'm constantly thinking about her, and I'm always missing her. I'm with a girl I dont even like, I have lately stopped talking to her, and have been acting like a total douche just to get her to leave me. I've been smoking more and I cannot sleep. I believe this is because of my ex. I loved her with all my heart, but the fighting was outta control, I broke up with her in October and promised myself to move on. but I cannot do it. She got my bestfriend to sleep with her and then rubbed it in my face, tried to get him to beat me up and all of his friends as well. I cannot live like this any longer. Please, Help me find closure in this. I do love this girl with all my heart, but I refuse to be taken as a pushover and I REFUSE to be abused anymore.So I ask, what should I do?
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female
reader, 00o  +, writes (15 January 2010):
The stuff between you and your ex sounds hard and cannot be resolved instantly. But just think, you have been abused and treated badly, and your doing the exact same thing to this girl now. Be honest with her and apologise. You know what its like to be really hurt so save this girl the pain?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2010): As long as you accept being abused by somebody else, you will act like a jerk as a compensation. Unfortunately your reactions are directed at the wrong person and create nothing more than additional pain and suffering.
Go to the root of the problem and stop dealing with your ex. You may suffer for a while but in the end It'll make you a better person.
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A
female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (15 January 2010):
 Dont be a pussy. If you wanna break up with someone stop acting like a little boy to remove responsibility from yourself and just do it.
As for the ex - gee she sounds like a quality girl - not! Sleeping with your mate to rub it in, trying to get you bashed, ...what on earth did you ever see in her?
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz  +, writes (15 January 2010):
What you should do is: grow a pair and dump your current girlfriend instead of just ignoring her (that's a VERY douchey move there) and move on from the ex. The more you hold on to this girl the bigger pushover you look like. You don't need some "closure" that you're looking for, just move on with your life and quit dating girls you don't even like. Find some independence within yourself, be alone for yourself, and become a man. Your ex is a bitch, why continue to pine over someone that would be so hurtful and evil to you?
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A
male
reader, Roll Roll +, writes (15 January 2010):
Move on! IF she slept with your best friend then you need to keep moving and you shouldnt be friends with someone like that. If you were to take her back, can you live with wondering if she can be even sleeping with your family member? Not cool man..
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A
female
reader, ShadowGoddess231 +, writes (15 January 2010):
 I would stop seeing your friend and everything that does with him, meaning your ex too. With the new lady you gotta be more up front with her cuz I bet ya dimes to dollars she is in her room or whatever crying her little eyes out cuz she thinks she has upset you and you don't want anything to do with her anymore. Part of moving on is cutting all ties to ex and going and finding a new love. To me it sounds like you love the abuse and attention you are getting from ex and friend. You don't even care about new lady, where as new lady cares a hep about you. Hell, I would've said, "you pussy I'm not playin games with you so I'm out!" Stop putting yourself first and start thinking of your new lady. Trust me on that one, I had a guy doing that to me for over a year and it sucked! So yeah you are being a jerk, a real asshole of a jerk! So buckle up and get over ex and start being nice to new lady and stop talkin to friend over there cuz he not healthy. Get a new friend that won't do shit like that too you. Damn!
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A
female
reader, meg2989 +, writes (15 January 2010):
 As far as your ex goes, I think that counseling or therapy could really benefit you and eventually help you to move on. You don't deserve to abused or mistreated that way, and no one deserves to be in a relationship where there is constand arguing. Now for you current girlfriend, as I said before no one deserves to be abused or mistreated, and acting like a "douche" as you say, well that IS mistreating her. Why don't you try talking to her, tell her the truth. How you really feel, but do it in a nice way. It doesn't mean she won't be upset, you can count on it that she will probably be very upset, but don't act like a jerk just so she will break up with you. She's probably feeling like shit and wondering if its her fault that you are acting like this. Tell her the truth and how you feel about your ex, even though you don't want to be with her. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, confusedlady182 +, writes (15 January 2010):
You need to not have contact with her or your friends who do this, friends wouldn't do that to you. I think it will be hard for another few months but you will be ok, you did the right thing.
I think it's better if you tell this new girl that it's over. the ex played games with you but you are playing games with the new girl.
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