A
female
age
51-59,
*issieap
writes:Dear Cupid,I have been married and divorced 4 times. I have tried getting back out into the dating scene. I've been fixed up, I've waiting to get asked out, or I ask guys out myself. It seems every guy out there is gay, married, or "unavailable". I am over 40, should I just quit while I still have my self respect? Lonely
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female
reader, irishmichelle +, writes (18 September 2010):
 I understand where you are coming from and I don't believe you need any therapy just because you divorced 4 times. I think you should get out there go to different places. If you have family or frinds out of the area go stay with them a few days and get out most of all (LIVE). whether or not you meet someone or not is all in the stars, but don't ever give up on anything.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2007): Dear Ms.I Too am single and I live in a northern Town In Canada I find that at this time the avaiable singles are nuts who never marrried or that they are scared from a relationship. Unless we find the golden ring of true love we have no much of a choosing field good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2007): If you have been married and divorced four times and you're only forty, you have some serious relationship issues going on.
True, some of your ex-husbands may have been "rotten" guys for all we know, but surely not ALL of them? Not all men are unavailable, gay, or married, either! Don't know where you've been meeting them, but try a reputable dating site such as eharmony. You do have to fill out a lengthy personality questionnaire, but its worth it. The site chooses matches for you based on compatibility, and you can always contact them for assistance in things like the distance you are prepared to tolerate, or smokers vs. non-smokers, etc., and they are helpful talking on the phone.
HOWEVER, before all that I'd recommend you find a good counsellor - if you haven't already - and go to work on what caused your other relationships to fail and what you can learn so that it doesn't happen in the future. This would be the best investment you can make if you want to meet a good man who will appreciate you for yourself and who you can be happy with!
As AngelEyes says, quit the dating scene for now and take time to focus on yourself - includes physical& mental health, and leading an active, happy, independent life on your own (with friends, too of course) so that you don't feel you have to be dependent on any man! As I said just now, this is an excellent way to do yourself a really good turn for now and the future!
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A
female
reader, AngelEyes420 +, writes (8 February 2007):
You've been divorced 4 times. Maybe you should quit the dating scene for a year, and focus on yourself.
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A
male
reader, Nico  +, writes (8 February 2007):
 Hi, Never give up on finding love, you maybe say you are "40 Years Old" but i look at as "40 Years Young!" There isn't anything wrong with trying to find someone to be with, but just don't reduce yourself to anyone you can find or who is interested in you! Take a step back and just enjoy your life, i'm very confident that love finds people not people find love! Take Care, Good Luck! x
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