A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 15 yrs old. i am in love with a guy he is 24 we met online...i hate my life no one loves me i don't have any friends i am always depressed my parents hate each other my dad is having affair...i can't talk about my problems with my mom bcoz she is blind i don't want to make her sad...and i am suffering from marfans syndrome i am heart patient...i met this guy online 1 year ago i lied him about my age but i told him the truth after 8 months....he says he still love me and he wants to meet me but i can't meet him for 3 months because i am having exams..he is coming in November , first i told him that i cant meet till one year but now i can meet him in feb so i want to tell him but he is not answering my call.now he is ignoring me we chat online and we talk on phone we had phone sex once i was uncomfortable i liked it but i don't want to talk about sex till i am 18 i told him my problem he said he is ok with it and we will have sex after marriage....he used to call me daily and we used to chat for 3 hrs....but now he is ignoring me he is not answering my call, he don't reply to my messages....i sent him e-mail asking whats wrong? he said that he is busy thats why he is not coming online...that day i told him to call me but he didn't...we haven't talked from 3 weeks and i am waiting for him online like crazy...is he cheating me? i am scared to trust anyone because my dad broke my trust i can never forgive him he hurt my mom...i am not able to concentrate on my studies...i don't know whats wrong why he is ignoring me....i just have him in my life i can't live without him if he wants to leave me he can tell i will not call him back but why he is playing with my feelings? why he is hurting me? my mind says something and my heart say other...my mind says to leave him and move on but my heart says wait for him...damn i am tired...whenever we talk on phone he talks about our future, our marriage our kids our honeymoon.....we both are Indian he is living in USA...i really love him i made my mind to say him good-bye but i don't know what he is feeling i don't want to hurt him...my heart says he loves me but he is ignoring me...i wanted to clear things with him so i called him but his phone is just ringing, it was busy and then switched off..i sent him e-mail asking why its switched off if you don't like i will not call and i said him that i will wait for him in chat-room.....other next day he came online he said sorry..he is on airport and disappeared without saying bye!!! i didn't tried to call him after that..because of all this things i am getting mad getting angry on my mom i am blaming myself....i am feeling alone,depressed please help me what to do? THANKS for reading it :)
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affair, depressed, met online, move on, phone sex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 November 2010):
 No. He is not in a relationship with you. No normal 24 y.o. guy wants to be in a relationship with a 15 y.o. kid. If he has no scruples- like your friend- he wants to have some fun and take advantage of her "blind trust " and inexperience. You are feeling used, because he is actually using you.
Pardon the brutality, but the sooner you snap out of this fantasy , the better for you . Cut contacts and move on.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your replies*
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for your replies*
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your answers. i gave him time but i dunno wht to do he called me and we had phone sex again in october. i am feeling like i am used i trusted him blindly after our second phone sex in october he stoped calling me and he changed his looking for status in fb to looking for relationship? but he is in relationship with me? why he is looking for relationship? he is hurting me.. i made up my mind and i am going to change my relationship status to single he will get his answer. am i doing right? is he doing this because of my age? i tried to clear things with him on phone but he said he is busy cant talk..(he didnt change his relationship status with me)
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A
female
reader, Bee4ever  +, writes (22 October 2010):
After reading your post I want to add that a person that truly loves you will not treat you this way. Not answering your calls, being unavailable for 3 weeks to a month. All of these things are unacceptable. It's probably hard for you to understand at 15 but this man is playing a game with you. Once you mentioned it would take a year or however long to meet him he sped up the process by making you want him more. This happens to everyone and it hurts to hear the truth but this man does not love you. Please value yourself more to demand more respect from your partner. I had low self esteem at your age but one thing I did have is self respect for my body. Please don't meet with him until he proves to be a good friend. If he really wants to marry you he needs to be a best friend to you first and not treat you like the enemy!
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (22 October 2010):
No. And you know that.
Not only because he's too old for you. Not only because you know too little about him and don't know if he just wants to take advantage to you. But because he is making fun of you : Who is so busy that cannot make 1 phone call or send 1 e-mail in one month ?....Even super busy people make time for the women they care about. He does not care.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for your replies..
so today he called me n said sorry he is on buisness trip busy for 1 month..he wants to meet me in person should i meet him?
@jodie i havnt used webcam with him and he also not force me, i cant talk about this with my mum because she herself have many problems..
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (21 October 2010):
You say you are scared to trust ,but then you trust an unknown 24 y.o. , that is willing to have phone sex with a 15 y.o. kid ! I'd say instead , that you give your trust way too easily,-for all you know he could have a wife and children in USA.
Lucky for you ( but understandably right now you don't see it as luck ) he got tired and ditched you. He has no intention to contact you and he is not going to give you closure, trust me on this.
This is totally a blessing in disguise, but I know I can't convince you right now. So , cry all you've got to cry - then wipe your eyes and please decide that in future you will not give away your heart ( and much more ) so easily before you know the person well.
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A
female
reader, jodieleigh  +, writes (21 October 2010):
 ok well, have you ever used webcam with him? because you are very young and online dating is very dangerous. i understand that you cant trust anyone. and im sorry that you feel so alone. i think your mam would be happy that you came to her to talk. just keep an open mind. your so young to burden all of this. i think you should go and talk to someone because what happened between your mam and dad has effected you in a bad way.
as for the man, if he is ignoring you all of a sudden it cant be good.
if he did love you he would make time in his day. he would go out of his way to make you happy. he is suppose to take your load off you, not make it worse. you will find someone who loves you for you. and i think that you are loved by people. i hope everything works out for you. you were ment for brighter days
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