A
female
age
26-29,
*lueskyday
writes:I want a real man is that so wrong? but the problem is i'm 15 and no real man would go for someone as young as me, i understand that i'm going through "changes" but I've always been more mature for my age and i find myself day dreaming about older men by older i mean about 25-late 30's. it's coming to the point where i'm just turning guys younger than that well my age, down. do i have a problem?
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female
reader, blueskyday +, writes (15 December 2011):
blueskyday is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you all for your advice i will take it all into consideration but see i don't know i'm just attracted to them more physically
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2011): Who you are attracted to is one thing. But who would make a healthy relationship partner for you is a different question. Older men are attractive to teenage girls because it makes healthy surviving offspring, not because it makes healthy relationships for the girls.
Many teenage girls want to justify having a relationship with a much older man based on the gender maturity difference. However the science does not really justify it. The fact is that teenage boys mature only about 1-2 years later than girls do. Many teenage boys are just as mature as their female peers or even more so.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2011): No, threres nothing wrong with you. I'm 21 and have always been attracted to older guys, I remember this being very frustrating at 15. The best thing to do at this age, is settle for some one a few years older and then when your around 17, if your mature for your age anyway, you find you will be able to blend in with the older guys you like and start dating the people you are really attracted to. Plenty of older guys like younger girls just as plenty of younger girls like older men. Theres nothing wrong with it and in a few years you will find the frustration settle and you will be able to be with the guys you are really attracted to. There's no point looking for your older guy when your 15 as anyone decent would know it's illegal and any one interested isn't the sort of guy you should want to be with anyway. Good luck and be patient.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2011): Everyone, guy or girl, wants to be with someone older as some point. Still, I don't see why you should reject people your age for that. Sooner or later you will reach the age where you will no longer want anyone older than you because they will be too old. if you meet a guy you like then give him a chance. Turning down someone because they aren't much, much older than you are is really messed up.
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (12 December 2011):
It's not strange at all, but because of your preference you have to be extra careful about whom you date. You're more vulnerable to manipulation from older guys.
I am 23 now but I have always fallen for guys older than I am. When I was your age I felt mature beyond my years, but looking back I realize I really wasn't. It's true that guys of the exact same age as you are now are often more immature, but an age gap of 2 years solves that. I wouldn't go beyond that, also for safety reasons.
You're right that no "real man" would fancy a teen like you, not until you've become a "real woman" yourself, like iAmHereToHelpYou said. There are older guys that aren't so honorable though and wouldn't mind messing around with a young thing like you for their own benefit.
You have to look at it this way: if the older men you fawn over would actually consider you --being the young teen that you are-- would you still hold them in such a high regard? A 25 y/o who has a 15 y/o as a gf would seriously raise eyebrows among his friends and frankly I would think there was something wrong with him for not being able to get a gf his own age.
My friend dated a 26 y/o when she was 16 but he ended up abusing her have her end up pregnant. When she needed him he was suddenly gone.
So keep that in mind. You cannot help your preferences, but you can make the right choices.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2011): Wanting a real man in itself is not wrong, but at 15 years old wanting men at the age of 25 to 30 years old is dangerous. There are so many paedophiles who would take advantage of you, and my fear is that this is leaving you vulnerable to them. You say you have always been more mature for your age, but this isn't more mature it is dangerous. Do not discount boys your own age, and when you are in your 20's if you still are interested in guys that are 10-15 years older than you then fine, but for now concentrate on school and not on boys/men. You say "but the problem is i'm 15 and no real man would go for someone as young as me", the problem that a paedophile at that age would want you and you do not want to get into a situation with anyone like that. I think you do have a problem, and that you should go and talk to someone about this, and try to stop thinking about older men.
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A
female
reader, EbonyBlossom  +, writes (12 December 2011):
 It's not a problem, but it's something that you know, realistically, can't happen. Loads of girls are attracted to father figures, and guys do often mature later than girls do, but if you dated a guy much older than yourself then he would expect things that you are too young to give. He'd probably want to settle down and have a family. But you've got to be a teenager and live your life before any of that can happen! Why not try going for guys around 17/18/19? (Bear in mind that it would be a crime for you to have physical contact if you are under 16 in most US states but I don't know where you live)
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