A
female
age
30-35,
*obbins
writes:I'm fourteen and i am very ugly, im fat and thats all i see wheneva i look at myself, i am trying to go on a diet and i try not to eat very much, especially not to eat junk food, i've ate junk twice since ive started about five days ago and when i did i made myself sick. i've only sucessfully made myself sick twice but i have tried several times before, i cant speak to my family or friends about it as its too embarrasing and they have problems of their own. i've sometimes ate junk food chewed it around my mouth and then spat or heaved it out, please help, is this normal? with love xoxoxoox Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2007): hey, i have been having the same problems as you,everytime i look in the mirror i think OH MY GOD, i have been reading your messages aswell, i have been sitting here thinking you have had so much help, that it has helped me, just to say you are a lovely person so why is the big fuss to lose weight so badly at your age? your only young! don't worry and i hope you have been listening to all these people's fantastic advice, you deserve to use it!
all my love
allie xxx
p.s:YOU CAN DO IT I KNOW YOU CAN
A
female
reader, sazzy +, writes (8 June 2007):
hiya hun ...
i am a 14 year old girl as well. every since i turned 13 i got self concious about myself, im 5 ft 2 and i weigh bouot 9 stone! i always try and think of new things 2 help me lose weight but i jus dont no what to do! if u want to lose weight then dont make ur self sik it will make u look worse in the long run! i with you i know ow u feel but u jus gta keep ur head up high and jus enjoy life other wise ur guna spend it being worried bout wat people think of u
...............................
A
female
reader, Bullock5125  +, writes (13 April 2007):
Hey hun. The most important thing to remember is that true beauty is on the inside. Don't make yourself sick it'll make you look worse in the long run and not eating with made you look worse as well. Excercise, go for bike rides, walks, go for a run, play tennis, do activities that get you active and lay off the junk food. I'm not saying you can't have it I'm just saying that don't eat it all the time. Don't use food as a way to relieve bordom which a lot of people do and don't use it as a way to cheer yourself up if you've had a lousy day. Always remember true friends and people who love you will see the beauty you have whether it's on the inside or out.
Sincerely,
Cassie
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2007): #1 you are young yet and most kids your age still have alot of growing to do. #2 undereating and making yourself sick is the worst thing you could do becuase you can make your body to weak to function properly.#3 "Defend Yourself" lets say someone called your friend fat, you'd tell off that person, right? well the next time you give yourself negative comments stick up for yourself in the same way by giving yourself a good compliment. Also try and indulge in somthing that makes you feel good, like join a team sport, try a new hair style, buy a new outfit.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2007): Iv never bean fat so i wouldn't know how that feel and no won is ugly no matter what you or other people think and you can really hurt yourself by making yourself get sick and not eating id say just eat regularly only try to lay off the junk food a little bit and get plenty of excersize
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2007): Whatever you do, DONT puke up your food. I was an anorexic when I was 12-15 and it damaged my body and my heart. I am 21 now and its was a very very very difficult recovery for me- and it all started by having thoughts that you are having now. Would you rather grow up to be healthy, lose some of your baby fat and blossom into a young and very attractive girl? Or would you rather binge and purge,starve and possibly rot your teeth, rupture your esophagas, ruin your ability to digest food, lose your hair, get dry and pale skin, get sunken eyes, become infertile, have a very large chance of developing polycystic ovary syndrome, have a weak heart that increases chances for heart disease, have to go to 3 doctors, psychotherapists, take drugs... etc.. etc and many other horrible effects of eating disorders.. I dont think anyone would like that. If I would have known that before I started my eating disorder I deffinately would have thoguht twice.. But no one told me that information. I hope this helps.. Please appreciate you for your are. Vanity shouldnt matter as much as it does your age. Focus on your grades and sports and music and art/ or any other talents you have. Work on learning another language and feel good about yourself. Dont worry about looking into mirrors or compariing yourself with others. If you are still suffering from low self esteem I woudl reccomend therapy. Good luck, you are beautiful as you are! Dont ever let anyone ever tell you otherwise, as they themselves are only insecure.
...............................
A
male
reader, DrCynic  +, writes (13 April 2007):
 Sweetheart, we are that we are. If you wish to change, try diet and excercise... If it doesn't work, then love yourself for who you are, and others will too...
I'm a fat guy, and diet and excercised didn't work for me... I've accepted it, and learned to love myself... That's what you need to do.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2007): im a girl myself ive been there its very hard to be on a diet.dont give up because u think u should but u really cant.do me a favor and keep on trying.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2007): i was in a similar position 3 yrs ago i was so self concious but a good friend of mine sat down and talked to me and made me realise i am the way god wanted me to be and that i was perfect the way i was. talk to someone close to you about how you feel it won't be as embarassing as you think. i hope this helps and i hope you'll change your opinion of yourself.
in the words of the song sunscreen by Baz Luhrmann
in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and
recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….
...............................
A
female
reader, Countitalljoy +, writes (13 April 2007):
First let me say that it hurts me that you are even having these stresses at your age! Right now is your time to shine, to have a good time and to be happy~! What you don't realize is that your weight will change again in a coupld of years where you will start to fill out as a young woman. I haven't seen you but I'm willing to bet that you are adorable. With that said I will include this!
Just know that no matter what type of diet that you go on, how thin you get it is still ultimately MANDATORY that you accept you for YOU! Know that the images that you see on these magazines are of girls who are slathered in makeup and then altered again after the photo is done. You, though are a REAL person, going through REAL LIFE!
If you want to lose weight healthily then be sure that you 1.eat about 5-7 small meals a day. (It always worked for me to put my food on a saucer and never refill).
2.Drink TONS of water (at least 8 oz. a day) as this will help to shed your access weight.
3. Try to avoid eating large meals after 7:00 p.m. and if you are still craving something...brush your teeth or have a teaspoon of peanut butter!
4. Limit your salad dressings to about a table spoon or use balsamic viniagrette.
5. Avoid snacking, be aware of your portions if you choose to.
6. Eat baked meats and foods instead of fried.
7. Be sure to engage in some sort of cardio activity a day. If it is walking fast around the track or a few times around the neighborhood!
These are all things I am sure you have read a trillion times but sweetie they really work. If you follow this diet or way of life I should say for at least 2 weeks you will see results, and feel them externally as well! Holding onto all of the stress is not helpful either.
Do your hair, put on your lipgloss, smile! YOU ARE THE BOMB!!!!! And a beautful butterfly going through her transition!!!! Love Thyself!
...............................
A
female
reader, Countitalljoy +, writes (13 April 2007):
First let me say that it hurts me that you are even having these stresses at your age! Right now is your time to shine, to have a good time and to be happy~! What you don't realize is that your weight will change again in a coupld of years where you will start to fill out as a young woman. I haven't seen you but I'm willing to bet that you are adorable. With that said I will include this!
Just know that no matter what type of diet that you go on, how thin you get it is still ultimately MANDATORY that you accept you for YOU! Know that the images that you see on these magazines are of girls who are slathered in makeup and then altered again after the photo is done. You, though are a REAL person, going through REAL LIFE!
If you want to lose weight healthily then be sure that you 1.eat about 5-7 small meals a day. (It always worked for me to put my food on a saucer and never refill).
2.Drink TONS of water (at least 8 oz. a day) as this will help to shed your access weight.
3. Try to avoid eating large meals after 7:00 p.m. and if you are still craving something...brush your teeth or have a teaspoon of peanut butter!
4. Limit your salad dressings to about a table spoon or use balsamic viniagrette.
5. Avoid snacking, be aware of your portions if you choose to.
6. Eat baked meats and foods instead of fried.
7. Be sure to engage in some sort of cardio activity a day. If it is walking fast around the track or a few times around the neighborhood!
These are all things I am sure you have read a trillion times but sweetie they really work. If you follow this diet or way of life I should say for at least 2 weeks you will see results, and feel them externally as well! Holding onto all of the stress is not helpful either.
Do your hair, put on your lipgloss, smile! YOU ARE THE BOMB!!!!! And a beautful butterfly going through her transition!!!! Love Thyself!
...............................
A
female
reader, bobbins +, writes (12 April 2007):
bobbins is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you very much for taking your time and giving me advice
...............................
A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers +, writes (12 April 2007):
 Raven is absolutly right. Before you start anything you have to think better of yourself. This will help your motivation to changing yourself phyiscally.
There are plenty of options to you out there it is just a matter of finding one that fits your taste and your lifestyle.
Dont discount your family so easily, even tho they may seem preoccupied i am sure they have the time to listen to you seriously and help you through this.
I cant say much more than what has been already said, just try and keep in mind things arent gonna change overnight and it is going to take alot from you to do this, but im sure the rewards at the end are going to be worth it.
Stay tough and all the best...
...............................
A
male
reader, ChiRaven +, writes (12 April 2007):
 Everyone has some body image problems. Even skinny runway models, for the most part, think they're too fat.
First, get over the idea that your self-worth is bound up with the way your body looks. You are a fine person, a unique individual with a mind and a personality, with friends and family who love you and do not judge you based on what you your body looks like. Got that? it's absolutely 100% true.
But of course we all want to look our best.
If you are seriously overweight, you should probably treat it as a medical problem and see a doctor. There are drugs (not speed or anything like that, but prescription drugs that cause alterations in your metabolism) that can be of immense help in a program of weight loss when combined with a correct diet and an exercise program.
The truth is that a do it yourself "will power" program is one of the least likely ways for you to lose weight. Put it in the hands of a professional and you multiply your chances of success by many, many dozens of times.
If it's just a matter of dropping five or ten pounds here or there, the diet books in the bookstore will probably help you. But from the tone of your letter I get the impression that it's a lot more serious than that. If that's the case, get help.
By the way, another "been there, done that" of mine ... in the past two years, with medical help and by concentrating on a woman that I REALLY wanted to get in good with, I have lost a total of 105 pounds (337 then to 232 in my doctor's office today). I still have a ways to go (I'm male, 6' tall, and should be down around 200 or so) but I'm still losing it. If you've got a lot of weight to lose, DO see a doctor. They really CAN help you.
...............................
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (12 April 2007):
 It's not normal to chew your food and spit it out like that, you'll end up with a very serious condition called "Bulimia" which can really mess up your insides.
http://www.mamashealth.com/bulimia.asp
You are very young and will probably be very easily influenced by girls in magazines and the like. Do you know these pictures are all doctored? The pictures are airbrushed to make the model LOOK "perfect." Teeth are made to look whiter, boobs are made bigger, eyes are made bigger and inches are rubbed away like magic with the aid of a PC.
Be proud of who you are and learn to love yourself! There is nothing you can't have when you diet, you just eat less of it. Don't say to yourself you can't have that, in fact allow yourself one treat a day, be it a chocolate bar OR a packet of crisps OR a slice of cake but only have the one. Always eat a breakfast as this will stop you feeling hungry later. Have a piece of fruit mid morning and if you want something sweet have a Mullerlight Yoghurt, they are "free" at some slimming classes and hardly have any calories. Add fruit to it and it will fill you up!
If you eat a good healthy diet then your hair and skin will improve, even your nails will get stronger and you'll glow with health! You will even be able to think clearer and not feel so sluggish and tired all the time. Don't chew your food and spit it out though, you're only asking for trouble okay?
You CAN do it, I KNOW YOU CAN!!! :o)
Eve
...............................
A
female
reader, maria14r +, writes (12 April 2007):
I think that you should eat healthy foods. there are foods that you can eat that will not make you gain weight. you should be able to talk to your mom or any close friend about this because they should always care how you are feeling. i also think that you can excersise and if you dont want to in front of people then do it where you know there will be no one.
...............................
|
