A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:About a month ago I met a really sweet guy at my aunts wedding. I'm only 12 but i look alot older and people tell me i am a lot more mature than my age. He's 28 and he works with my aunt. Pretty much everyone in my family knows him and they all seem to like him. He started flirting a little bit and offering me drinks so i thought, ok i'll flirt back. My family, some other people and him were staying in the hotel the wedding was at, overnight. We chatted and flirted alot that evening, and we kissed. The next day we met up downstairs, and we chatted some more, kissed a bit more and he asked me out. We live quite a long way from each other, but we have been chatting over MSN and emails and we've spoken on the phone/texting. Recently the police were involved as they found out we were comunicating and we were forced to stop communicating. I am completley in love with him, and i know he loves me to. We are still talking and he wants me to move in with him when i turn 16. He keeps on talking about us meeting up when i'm older. But i dont know if the age difference is too big. Please help me. I dont know what to do, and we could get in trouble for still communicating.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2007): This guy is a pervert, i might sound like one now when i say this but this guy is not stupid and knows what he wants, he wants a young cute child to have sex with and that's all there is to it its 1 thing fantasising about young girls 15 16 or 17 but another acting on it, he is a strange man and you're well better staying away honey...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2007): Gross! What is the legal age in canada anyway-certainly not 12-gross! He should be in jail. Get away now!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2007): The police have already been involved?
And you're still asking whether you should stand by your man?
...get out while you can. I don't think there's anything in it for you. Nothing positive, anyhow.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2007): If you love him like you say you do there not a problem but right know your to young if he loves you he will wait and then you can start a relationship. Its like wot they say you cant help who you fall for lol x good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2007): Hi there,
If you love this guy like you say you do, you'd stay away atm for his sake. It's so dangerous for him, he could end up facing many years in prison. I'd wait until you were sixteen and if you still feel as strongly for him then you could consider the relationship. Even if you were 16 he'd be 32 - OLD ENOUGH TO BE YOUR FATHER! I'd carefuly consider this.
I'm currently in a relationship with an age gap - I'm 17 and he's 24. People even find our relationship disgusting, I dread to think how people would react to yours.
A few months ago I mistook a friends girlfriend for his mother... do you really want a boyfriend people might assume is your father?
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A
female
reader, CONFUSED_101  +, writes (30 October 2007):
I dont think you should keep this thing going. Your only 12 years old, you have so much to look forward to in life why waste it on someone that old. When your much older and you still feel the same about each other, then go ahead and try.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2007): Holy crap. Are you serious?
You need to realize that what's going on here is all kinds of wrong. Morally, socially, legally...
I don't even know where to start. It's ridiculously illegal, for one thing. He's 28, he should be dating women that are his age. 12 years old? Have you even gotten your period yet? This is too ridiculous; part of me hopes this is just some sick joke.
You don't know what love is, darling. You need to wait.
Why did the police get involved if you two were just talking? Does this guy have any previous altercations with the law that would make this creepy? Probably.
I hope you stop talking to this guy. Seriously. This story almost made me cry, it is so horrible.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2007): he was totally wrong to kiss you and even flirt with you your only 12. its disgusting what he did. you may fink u love him but it will be a crush. he is a pervert if you were 16+ then maybe it wunt be so bad but your a child of 12
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2007): Communication as friends aren't illegal, but to make an exertion that he loves you and wants you to move in with him when you're 16 gives it a more shady essence to the whole idea. Personally, I never find love and attraction between a mid to late teen wrong for someone older, at any age, but at your age, 10 to 12, for a 28 year old man - it just seems off.
I'm not trying to put you down. You're simply still just young and have a lot ahead of you. Again, not putting you down, but I don't see how a grown man of 28, whom have lived and experienced 28 years of life could be in love with someone 10 to 12. I could understand if you were 16 to 18, that you could possibly resemble or even have the potential to live up to your character, but at 10 to 12, it seems off.
Yeah, just feels suspicious. Even if the law was out of the way, I think he should know better. You're not even a teen yet, and you still have yet to go through a period of physical, mental, and emotional growth. No matter what he may say he's attracted to you of, there isn't enough of you that he should be attracted to you in the first place. Not putting you down again.
Understand? Does that make sense? Damn, running on 4 hours of sleep... 8[
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2007): please stop. i'm 12 too and if i were in your situation i would run, fast. when the police get involved you know its serious. everyone tells you that you are too young to know what love is but dont believe them. i have the most wonderful boyfriend in the world. we have been together for 3 years and not 1 fight. we tell each other that we love each other regularly, my point being, you can be way happier with someone your age, than with some 28 year old pervert. this could get very scary and dangerous so please stop.
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A
male
reader, Uncle Trev +, writes (24 October 2007):
If this guy knows your age one word comes to mind - Paedofile!!!
As it has only been kissing there is a chance he will escape a jail sentence even if it is with your full approval - If you had taken this any further I no doubt he would now be in jail.
No matter how old you look and how old you feel you are only 12 and you are still very much a child in any legal eye.
Concerntrate on being a 12 year old and try to enjoy your adolescence once you get there.
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A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316  +, writes (23 October 2007):
 You might act older and look older hon but you are still 12. I don't believe you are old enough to make decisions of this nature. I have a 12 year old grandchild who 1, looks 15-16 and is pretty mature for her age. However she is still 12. Emotional maturity at that age is not as good as when you are older.
I am know from experience what it's like to be attracted to someone older. I was only 13 and a handsome guy liked me. He once tried kissing me I refused. The main reason was that HE WAS NEARLY 22!! What was he thinking? I had enough maturity to know that this was Never going to happen.
You have to make choices your whole lifetime. If you don't see the problem here then your first choice is not in your best interest. It could cause many complications. The guy is an adult and should be acting like one. You are still a child even if you think and feel differently than other 12 year olds.
Take your time in forming a serious relationship. If you are lacking male affection in your life you maybe seeking it thru this man. This isn't the way to get any good attention. At his age hon he is basically using you to fulfill some need he has. Men who play up to young girls are considered pedophiles. (men who prey on young girls) He is suggestive about sex to you, he has already kissed you.
I would say that all of this between you two is probably being kept a secret. He wouldn't want anyone to know because with a minor is Illegal! If he has sex with you it is considered STATUTORY RAPE. At any rate, having sex at your age can and will change the course of your life forever and the outcome won't be a positive one I can assure you.
Please hon find a boyfriend closer to your own age. Don't rush growing up. I married at 16, I didn't have to and it only lasted a little over two years. He loved me,right? Well divorce came quickly. He wasn't able to deal with it. He was already 18 but not emotionally mature enough to deal with all of the problems of being together constantly. Living with someone takes alot of patience, caring,giving,certain loss of freedoms, bigger responsibilities.
You have a long life ahead of you live it carefully but to it's fullest. Just don't rush it nor take it for granted. Give yourself time to find someone that is worthy of you. This man's attention is not going to help you it is going to hurt you. You are too young to understand but as you are older and you look back you will see.
Hon please stay away from this man. If he cared about you or respected you he wouldn't put you in the position to start with. Think about how this is going to affect the rest of you life and It WiLL,I promise you.
Love is descion based on feelings one has for another. Love is a choice. When someone LOVES YOU they put you first and they do things that could harm you. They care enought to give to your their very best. I am not talking about sex either. I am talking about emotional stablility. Please call it quits with this man and let yourself be a child just a little while longer. You won't regret it.
May God be with you and help you to make a decision that will be in your best interest. Don't worry about the guy ,worry about you. May God bless and keep you safe in the palms of his hands.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2007): Sorry but this is so wrong, a bloke aged 28 is after a KID of 12!!!!!!!!!!! If i was your mom and i found out i would have him locked up! that is so sick! He is a paedophile! Please do not get back in contact with this sicko again, stop playing this game, you are way too young and he should know better. If you two meet up when you are 16 then that is fine, but for now, keep away!!!!!
take care
xx
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A
male
reader, dapone 1 +, writes (23 October 2007):
 hi Anon.
When you are in love it is the most wonderful feeling in the world, i know this because i have had all the feelings that you have know for another human being, but i was 22 then and a mature adult, and knew my own mind, i am afraid you are not, you are still your parents sweet little girl, and you should stay that way at least until you mature into a young woman. at 16 you are classed as a mature person and thats OK,then you will be able to make your own mind up, but you are a minor and cannot make the correct decision for yourself, that is why the law and your parents are trying to defend you from this man (so called adult), who should be moor mature, than to lead a minor on illegally, you should be wary of him, he may have enticed other young girls like yourself into relationships they did not want or deserve, it is not fair of him to play with your emotions in this way, you are better off without this person in your young life, you should stop all contact with this person, no matter how much it hurts you now, because in a year or two you may find someone closer to your age and maturity who will be better for you,come on now you now we are only trying to protect you from a world of pain, please stay away from this man it is for your own good.
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A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (23 October 2007):
 Your 12 and your in love with a 28 year old, i know age shouldnt matter but i remeber being 12 and having no idea what emotions where what and how i really felt i think you need to leave this, if the police got involved then this is serious and you need to break contat and wait till you 16 and then if you feel the same get back into contact but to be honest id run like hell from this guy, he is 28 can he not get girls his own age or is he just some sort of sexual predator? To be honest i would leave this guy alone
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A
female
reader, Emzy1591 +, writes (23 October 2007):
 WOAH This age gap is waaaaay to big and the fact hes kissed you is completely inappropriate and since the police have been involved that should tell you instantly something is wrong. if you were 19/20 it would be more appropriate but this guy is more than twice ur age. End it, look for guys your own age, it could get dangerous otherwise
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2007): He is a pedophile, possibly a rapist. He's too old to be looking at girls your age. Cease any contact between you two before you get hurt.
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A
female
reader, lovehate +, writes (23 October 2007):
 Stop commmunicating with him honey! Please please do. Why have the police been in contact and are not allowing you to communicate? There must be a fuller reason here. Honey if the police are involved it means stay away from him! I know you are inlove and i respect that but do not act on it. It won't be able to happen, if he has touched you, that is against the law!! No matter how old you look it doesnt matter. Get your mind of him, relax, go out with friends, you are so young. Find a boy your age :P You will have way more fun, i can assure you. You are a young girl, act it, don't get caught up with other problems like this man. It isn't fair for him to be doing this to you, believe you me he knows he is doing wrong,its sick!
Stop communicating with him otherwise you will have to face problems which will hurt you and get you into even more trouble.
I am just given you friendly advice. xx
Contact me if you have any other questions i am only 15 so i know it's easier to talk to me than a 50 year old.
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