A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i think theres something wrong with me. i worked with a guy for the last 2 years and i know from the start i had feelings for him. he was in a bad way with work and everything so i took on the role of being his ' angel' if you like and got him back on his feet. over time we became close friends but no relationship. we had a discusiion about it and he said he didnt want to lose a good friend. i accepted this but my feelings havent changed. anyway he wasnt getting on with the team manager so moved to another area. i was gutted but wanted him to be happy so helped him with his application. hes now been gone 3 weeks and has been in contact hardly. he used to call always and acted like he cared. whenevr he does call its to tell me how successful he is and i know im horrible but i get this pang of jeleousy knowing hes doing great while im working on my own always. whats happened to him we used to be so close. am i just a spare part now im hurt and i still care about him. please anyone advise me please Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Kilcardy  +, writes (26 January 2011):
There's nothing wrong with you. Lots of people get enmeshed in "special friendships" that are not reciprocal. It's a painful process. He's already told you he doesn't want a romantic relationship with you. He views you as a friend. The problem you have is that you want something completely different with him than he wants with you. You insisted on "rescuing" the guy when you knew full well that he did not feel the same way about you as you do about him. I'm sure he's not trying to hurt you. You're hurt because you have romantic feelings that he's not returning. You should distance yourself so that you can get a grip on your emotions. I say this because it is extremely difficult to be "friends" with someone you want romantically who is not reciprocating. I suppose you can give it one more shot. If he turns you down, then it's really time to move on, otherwise you will be hurting for a while.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2011): He has always reguarded you as a friend and said he didn't want more as it didn't want to spoil the friendship. There it is in a nutshell. You helped him get on his feet and move off. That's where you are now. I have to be honest. He thinks of you as a great friend but he's now moved on, grateful to you, yes, but beyond that I can not see there is anything to look for. Do you want to keep the friendship going or more than that? If you want to risk rejection you will have to suggest meeting up. But my guess is that you helped him get through a tough spot and he's now he's flown.
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A
male
reader, rouge +, writes (26 January 2011):
 Tell him how you feel about you guys. If he feels the same way he will push things. If not then girl you have to move on. cheers ;)
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (26 January 2011):
 Tell him you miss him. Ask him out to dinner to catch up. Sometimes, when people go through big changes, some relationships fall by the wayside. If you don't want yours to do that, you'll need to reach out this time.
Hypothetically, he may have developed some feelings for you too, despite what he said to the contrary. His little disappearing act could be on purpose to get over those feelings.
Invite him out to catch each other up on what's happening in your lives. See how that goes. I doubt he'd turn that down.
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