A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ive been going out with my new GF about 4months now, i split from my babys mum about 4 months now....The other night my babys mum told me she still cares for me and I told her i still care for her. I spoke to my babys mum today, and i told her that i'm having a mental break-down.I explaned to her that I still have feelings for a ex partner that I dated 5 yrs ago, even though i wouldn't go out with that girl again has she treated me bad.And that i have been acussing my current girlfriend of cheating on me which is not true, but because my current GF sort of looks like my ex of 5 yrs ago, thats why im accusing my CURRENT GF of cheating on me.I thought my babys mum would have said dump your girlfriend if you feel like that, but she didn't all she said was you have to do whats right for you, and don't lead the new GF on. My heart says stay with my current GF but my mind is fighting me saying don't stay with her, untill i can sort my head out, i feel i can't move on with anyone, i feel helpless and useless to myself and anyone i get involved with.Whats happing with me, and WHY WOULD I TELL MY BABYS MUM THIS, I really don't know why and what i should do.I also asked my ex if she was my current GF would she dump me, if i told her this all she said was she can't answer that question, i also said to her, does she think I should be in a relationship, if i feel this way about my ex from 5 yrs ago.She just said again i must do whats right for me, but i don't know.Please help
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female
reader, Aunt Audrey +, writes (4 September 2007):
 Hi there,It seems to me that you need some time on your own to make up your mind what you want in your life and who you want to be with.Not sure what happened between your girlfriend of 5 yrs ago, or why the relationship with your child's mother went wrong, but you seem to be insecure in some way, accusing your current g/f of cheating just because she looks like an ex is a bit extreme, poor girl!It doesn't sound like you're much good to anyone feeling the confusion you so obviously do, so take some time out for yourself,and sort your head out.Do you fear being alone?I'm sure you haven't told your current g/f the way you feel, but I think it's a bit unfair to make her think she may have some sort of future with you when you don't even know who you want to be with!Be brave, stand alone for a while, and see how you feel then....Good luck.
A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (4 September 2007):
 Hi
Your going through a lot of confusion!
Maybe its just not the right time to be dating anyone. And speaking to your babies mum was basically because you need to talk to someone! Why dont you ring relate?
I'm going to do that this week myself because ive been single 3 months now and love it, BUT ive got alsorts of things about exes going through my head at the moment too. Ive split from a yr relationship 3 months ago, i see my ex from 3 years ago every few weeks in a club i go to, i was talking to my ex husband on sat night on the phone from 16 years ago! and i was telling my brother when i was out with him that i shouldnt of split from my kids dad 7 years ago really! And actually just thinking about it, i actually spoke to 4 exes on saturday, either on the phone (ex hubby) in person (kids dad when he picked them up and the ex from 3 yrs ago in the club) and in txt the 4th (3 months ago guy)! Thats madness really.
You n me both need to go have a chat with someone and find out where we are at and move forward.
I think you are trying to move on too quick personally. Before sorting your head out. But i could be wrong!
Good luck.
C xxxx
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