A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have been living with a separated man over a year. He has 2 children. He is a few years younger than me. We have been together and very much in love for over three years. I divorced shortly after we got together. My marriage was an unhappy one for years. He has been talking about getting a divorce for 3 years. I feel foolish to still be waiting and still a secret to his kids. He has the words to keep me waiting. How can I get him to make the choice. I can not seem to tell him to leave until he gets his divorce. He goes home to be with his kids every other weekend and can not call much because they do not know about me. His Soon to be ex supposedly lets him have the kids alone for the weekend in the home they shared. Am I crazy to live this way for over 2 years? Time just seems to pass with no progress in his divorce and he does not tell me where it stands. I can not seem to be tuff enough when I see him.Thanks for any words of advice!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2007): There is no progress because he probably is content to let this go on and on without ever getting a divorce.This is most unsatisfactory for you. I agree that you must tell him that he either files for divorce within a certain time - the next month or two - and you want to see the paperwork when he does file.If he makes excuses and refuses to commit, then you have to tell him (in effect) "there's the door. Go out and don't come back." In other words, its over.You have to look out for your own well-being and happiness.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2007): Are you living in his home or he in yours? If he's in your home, tell him either make some progress or he's got to go with in a certain time frame. Talk to him & tell him your expectations & how you're feeling. Guys don't think the same way we do, and you have to tell them exactly what you want. You may think he should know, but usually they have no idea. If you're in his home, if it is possible for you to look into getting your own place, and give him the same ultimatum. This man is still married, what is he doing waiting for his wife to decide she wants him back? Then what would happen to you? You've got to look out for yourself. Especially because you aren't getting getting any younger.
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