A
female
age
30-35,
*hmngbrd
writes:sigghh. i have so much i want too tell my boyfriend. like the fact that i think he could do SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME, because of my past i refer to my self as abnormal i do have a lot wrong with me, and i really love him and want the best for him.. should i say good bye for the better, because it might make him truly happy in the end considering the fact that i have this endless list of problems?? i seriously have never felt this way about anyone but when u love someone shouldnt u put their feelings first and what you think would be better for them?? im really struggling here someone please give me some type of advise... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, khmngbrd +, writes (7 December 2010):
khmngbrd is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you guys that really did help, alot. Your right just because I grew up the way I did and I feel like I dont deserve everything he does isnt true!!I do deserve happyness and being with him is the happiest ive everr been!! I love him, and you guys are right. Thank youuu so mucch. I know that sometimes I feel as if all my problems might be hard for him to handle because he is always there for me to help cuz I dnt really have anyone else but I see now that I really appriciate tht an imma tell him tht!! Thankyou so muuch.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2010): No offence but that's a stupid reason to break up. It's not up to you to decide whether you're enough for him or not, that's up to him and he's decided that you are. So please don't try and think you know what's best for him okay? He's fully aware of what is and isn't good for him and you are not only good enough for him but you're so good that he's become your boyfriend.
If he felt this way, if he felt he wasn't good enough for you and broke up with you because of that how would you feel?
That's right it would suck because it's up to you decide whether he's good enough for you, not him.
Whatever your flaws and problems they're obviously not that big a deal to him or he wouldn't be your boyfriend, I bet he tells you those things don't matter all the time. Well if he does it's time you started to listen and stop thinking he'd be happier without you because it makes no sense. I mean do you really think breaking his heart by dumping him will make him happier? He wants and has you and you think that taking that away from him will be good for him? No it doesn't work that way.
You need to focus on your issues and not all this stuff about him being happy, it sounds like he is happy with you. If you have problems, solve them, if there's something you don't like about yourself and it's something you can change then do. If it's not then it's not a big deal. Maybe you should have a chat with him about all these things and see how he feels about them But it's very important you trust his judgment on those things, if he says they're not a big deal to him, then please listen to that, don't start thinking he's being dishonest just because you think they are a big deal. He doesn't have to see things your way at all.
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (4 December 2010):
 A better idea would be to work on your own problems and make your relationship stronger and better. He loves you too, don't you think he wants you to be happy as well?
Are you going to tell the same thing to all the men who come along after him (if you break up), or are you going to keep running away from yourself?
If you love him, be the best girlfriend you can be. Don't break his heart.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (4 December 2010):
 Does anybody out there actually refer to themselves as "normal"? As cerberus said, we all have flaws. We're all a bit quirky... and in the end, isn't that really what makes relationships so intriguing?
He clearly sees something in you that you can't, something you should stop worrying about and focus on just having fun with him.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (4 December 2010):
 He is free to make his own choices and he is with you because he loves who YOU are. Is that not true? If he loves you, he probably feels like he cannot do better because he thinks you are already the best. Stop worrying. You are not abnormal. Whatever your problems, forget them and keep being the best you can be. We all have our flaws, some more dire than others but as humans we must progress and move forward. There is no reason why you do not deserve happiness within the comfort of your lover. Be happy.
I hope that helps.
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